2010 DRAFT ORDER FOR KC

2010 DRAFT ORDER
-------------------
1. TLICIOUS
2. JOE LOU
3. FLC
4. ROSS
5. KC or MM (MM gets to pick which spot)
6. KC or MM
7. ND40
8. BUTTA

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W7), BUTTA (W4)
WHO’S NOT: FLC (L6), ROSS (L4)


GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 (11-2) -2 vs KC (6-6-1)
LAST MEETING: ND40 168, KC 151

The Software is pumped. KC is not, only because they could get ND40 two times in a row. ND40 has wrapped up their first REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP. Serena went shopping with Dayna which was a little awkward for ND. Folks, we’ll get right to it. KC wins and they are in. If they lose, and JOE loses they are still in. We think this will be a high scoring affair but even though it is a meaningless game for ND40 they still win a close ballgame.



JOE LOU (6-7) -7 vs ROSS (4-9)
LAST MEETING: JOE LOU 137, ROSS 121

JOU has never been relegated to the Toilet Bowl playoffs. The DEFENDING SB CHAMPS need a win and a KC loss or they will probably face AP8 FLC/KANYE in the first round of TB playoffs. JOE QB Brees and WR Wayne will be too much for QB Joe Flacco and company. ROSS will need big production from RB Steve Jackson and THAT wacky cast of WRs in Red Oak. JOE BY 7


MONTREAL (8-4-1 ) -4 vs BUTTA (9-4)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 177, MONTREAL 127

Winner gets AP2 and #2 SEED. These two will face each other in round 1 no matter what. This one will just look good for the record books and set the tone for the playoff battle next week. MM RB C-JOHNSON gonna run wild! MM by 4


GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
TLICIOUS (4-9) -3 vs FLC (3-10)
LAST MEETING: FLC 160, TLIC 111

TLIC is like Marah on Fiah. They could be a #2 seed in the TB playoffs. What a turnaround folks! The GUT loves TLIC like Tiger loves a cocktail waitress……and a partygirl……..and a cocktail waitress. Gut CANT BET against TLIC right now…….

See you next week for ROUND 1 OF THE SB AND TB PLAYOFFS

AP PCS 14

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONS: SCHERF BOWL CHAMPIONS. Only one for more to complete the trifecta. Serena made ND40 get freaky the past couple of nights. All is well in North Dallas.

AP#2 BUTTAFUOCO: The Evil Empire has quietly hit AP2. They get MM this week and probably MM in first round of SB playoffs.

AP#3: MONTREAL: Couldn’t beat ND40. Now get Butta two weeks in a row. Tough road but they are salivating at a rematch with ND40 in the SUPA BOWL.

AP#4 KC BEES: Software has set themselves up for the 4 spot nicely. Now must get past the Regular Season Champs to face them yet again in round 1.

AP#5 JOE LOU: An obvious must win. They get a reeling ROSS. Software has offered ROSS a hefty reward for a win…..and lots of women…Tiger’s broads.

AP#6 TLIC : TLIC has done it. Their highest ranking of the year. A 2 game win streak. The odds on fav to win the Toilet Bowl Championship. And no more basement

AP#7 ROSS: ROSS is already eyeing some high priced items since SOFTWARE has promised many luxuries if they beat JOE LOU. ROSS had promise this year but is falling apart in the second half of the season.

AP#8 FLC : Kayne and FLC playing Rock Band on the Wii in the basement. Not what TLIC envisioned for the future of the basement.

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W6), BUTTA (W3)
WHO’S NOT: FLC (L5), ROSS (L3)


GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 (10-2) -5 vs MM (8-3-1)
LAST MEETING: MM 224, ND40 130

MM put up 224 on ND40 in the last meeting. Folks, this is the big one. The best regular season matchup left on the board until the SB-TB playoffs. MM still has hopes for their second REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP in a row. Serena says she will stick balls right down MM’s gullet. TMZ.COM is reporting that fame has gotten to ND40 and Serena. Serena crashes the car. ND40 has a tennis racket in hand at the scene. We don’t know what to make of it. MM meanwhile just stays out of the headlines and keeps putting up wins and ties. Folks, ND40 QB Pimples and RB MJD will out last MM and setup a possible SUPA BOWL bonanza. ND40 by 5



TLICIOUS (3-9) -7 vs JOE LOU (6-6)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 137, JOE LOU 90

Folks, Tlic is gaining momentum like Elin Woods with a 3 wood. Run and get the heck out of there, JOE LOU. JOE LOU is barely hanging on, like Dr Phil almost trying to help someone. Huge game for TLIC, JOE and KC. TLIC can break out of the basement for good. JOE with a win ,can hold off KC for another week. A JL loss and door is open for KC. We love TLIC this week. JL QB Brees wont be enough yet again. TLIC by 7.



KC BEES (5-6-1) -9 vs ROSS (4-8)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 178, KC 168

The Software is good friends with both Tiger Woods and Elin. He is torn. Software’s celeb status puts him in the middle of a sticky situation. Software needs to put this behind him and get ready for the game. KC is not happy with the Software’s lack of focus. Software is never happy with KC so it doesn’t matter. ROSS had potential but a 3 game losing streak has sunk the SB playoff hopes like Oprah taking the last bite of some cheesecake. KC gets the edge in this one due to the WR matchup. KC sneaks in a win and makes week 14 real interesting.



GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
BUTTA (8-4) -3 vs FLC (3-9)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 189, FLC 115

BUTTA is playing for SB playoff position. FLC is trying to avoid the basement like Tiger trying to avoid a slumpbuster at a crowded LA night club. Slumpbusters are for poor white guys like Mark Grace. This game has less meaning than a naughty Tiger text message. The GUT is more interested in chips ahoy cookies (reduced fat) than this game…..HOWEVER, THE GUT sees a winning streak verses a losing streak and loves the Evil Empire by 3.

AP PCS 13

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: SCHERF BOWL CHAMPIONS. The big one this week vs MONTREAL. TMZ.com is reporting that Serena backed her car out of ND40s garage at 3am and crashed. She had no shoes on and ND40 broke the window with a tennis racket to save her. Serena was bloodied like a guy after a fight with Patrick Swayze in ‘Road House’. More news on this during butta picks.

AP#2 MONTREAL: The tie really hurts MMs chances of a REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP. Still the ND40-MM matchup is here and could be a SUPA BOWL PREVIEW.

AP#3: BUTTA: The Evil Empire makes quick work of JOE LOUIS even with QB Brees working it on MNF. They clinch a SB playoff spot,

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: KC’s tie helps JL breath easier but with 2 weeks remaining this is a wide open playoff race.

AP#5 KC BEES: Software is pumped and now its time to turn it on. They get a hurting ROSS squad this week.

AP#6 ROSS: ROSS riding a 3 game losing streak is pretty much done and gearing up for Toilet Bowl action

AP#7 TLIC: TLIC puts it together and now gains momentum heading into the Toilet Tournament. Looking to pass ROSS in the standings

AP#8 FLC : Kayne is just pissed right now. Sharing the basement with TLIC for at least this week and the race card is flying around like Johnnie Cochran at an OJ trial.

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W5), MM (W4)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L5), FLC (L4)


GAME OF THE WEEK
SCHERF BOWL XXIII
ND40 (9-2) -21 vs JOE (3-8)
LAST MEETING: ND40 139, FLC 136

Kanye verses Serena. ND40 can win the cup with an outright win. If FLC wins by 4 or more the Cup is theirs. It’s the granddaddy of them all. The Scherf Bowl sponsored by Rolling Rock. ND40 is going to go gangsta with RB Gore and MJD. Add ND40 QB Pimples and good night. FLC must counter hard….like ND40 after a Sonny lap dance. FLC needs some freaking love from QB Romo. FLC RBs Forte and Addai must answer the bell or it will be a long day for Kanye and FLC. ND40 wins by 21 and WINS THE SCHERF CUP 2009.



MONTREAL (8-3) -1 vs KC (5-6)
LAST MEETING: KC 169, MM 150

With a win, the Software is in striking distance of the SB playoffs. MONTREAL is chasing down a second straight Regular Season Championship. KC can take this one verses MM but it wont be easy, like a 20 yr old trying to make it out of a Paula Abdul Cougar Convention in one piece. MM RB Chris and Ray need to be slowed down. The KC WRs are above average and they must do what is right! KC QB Charles Schwab must put up the big numbers. A close game here! KC needs the win. MM by an extra point





BUTTAFUOCO (7-4) -15 vs JOE LOU (6-5)
LAST MEETING: JOE 149, BUTTA 77

JOE needs a win to keep the Software at bay. Butta has to get win #8 to just about clinch a SB playoff spot. This game is coming down to MNF with JL QB Brees and BUTTA WR Wes. Butta has a lot going good this week. A JL loss means they might have to start hitting the panic button. We like Butta to clinch a playoff spot with with this one. BUTTA by 15



GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
TLIC (2-9) -1 vs ROSS (4-7)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 102, TLIC 97

If ROSS puts 3 wins together 8-6 could get them in the SB playoffs but a lot needs to happen. TLIC just wants to put Kanye back in the basement. THE GUT looked at this game over and over and he calls it as even. Seriously, this could end being the best game of the week. The gut says its TLIC because one close game will go their way this year. This is it. TLIC will ruin Red Oaks playoff hopes and ruin their Thanksgiving.

AP PCS RANKINGS 12

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: SCHERF BOWL this week. ND40 is rolling. AP PCS #1 for many weeks in a row. A regular season championship is now in sight but……….

AP#2 MONTREAL: This team has ND40 on the radar, like Oprah wants to nail a pancake at I-HOP on any given Sunday morning. The media thinks this might be the best team in the country. What a big matchup with KC this week. MM is no longer taken for granted like Carl Weathers in Happy Gilmore.

AP#3: BUTTA: The Evil Empire is back….and everyone thought this would be a down year for Buttason. “Buttason, sand the floor”

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: JL now hears footsteps….those of the SOFTWARE. Software is pissed. Software wants KC to kneel before him like Superman did before Zod.

AP#5 KC BEES: Software and KC trying to patch up things with one last drive for the SB playoffs. They were spotted eating BBQ at Famous Daves going over particulars.

AP#6 ROSS: ROSS must win out for any chance of SB playoff love. This weeks loss hurt real bad like Paula Abdul at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.

AP#7 FLC : Kayne is just pissed right now.

AP#8 TLIC: Another heart wrenching loss. Time to get out of the basement and see the sun. TMZ.com is reporting that TLIC is going to leave a Taylor Swift cd on the recliner for Kanye by seasons end. TLIC is planning on getting out of the basement with 3 weeks to go.

Butta Picks Week 11

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W4), MM (W3)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L4), FLC (L3)


GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 (8-2) -35 vs JOE (6-4)
LAST MEETING: ND40 122, JOE 96

Can ND and Serena be stopped? Who dares to get in their way with Serena’s temper and ND’s ability to hack your Facebook account? In steps JL who is coming off a solid win over the Bees and the software. At 6-4 JL needs a win to get within a game of ND and remove any chance of slipping into the lower chamber. I hesitated on writing Butta Picks because I was waiting for JL to put in SJax and remove Stewart. I thought, “Surely, he must be joking.” But he wasn’t joking and probably doesn’t like being called Shirley. There’s just too much firepower on ND’s side as Peyton will likely offset Brees and MJD will do his bowling ball routine against the hapless Bills. JL has a nice offset to Manning with Mr. Wayne but in the end it’s ND in a possible blowout of the week victory.



MONTREAL (7-3) -19 vs ROSS (4-6)
LAST MEETING: MM 141, ROSS 112

MM comes in riding a 3 game winning streak while ROSS is looking for a Rocky III type comeback after Butta laid down a Clubber beating last week. CJ and Rice will be tough to contain but Ricky “Ronnie Who?” Williams has made the RB race closer this week than originally expected. Brady gets the edge for ROSS but the MM WRs are looking strong to quite strong. Even though Moss is unlikely to duplicate last week’s performance, Steve Smith has already done his part and Hines is a solid brand whether you are talking football or ketchup. ROSS’ WRs will all have to exceed expectations but Wallace is an interesting sleeper and could be a key for the upset if he can outperform Ward. Yet, MM is stacked like a bad Pamela Anderson sitcom and gets the nod here.



KC BEES (4-6) -12 vs FLC (3-7)
LAST MEETING: FLC 116, KC 93

The software is licking its chops as it gets a reeling FLC. The Bees are looking to leverage the #1 rule in fantasy football this year – start any player going against the Rams. Warner, Fitzy and a surging Beanie are all likely to have big days and AJ and Clark will be solid as well. I expect FLC to counterpunch a bit though as Housh should benefit from an offense that will have to throw the ball against the Vikes and Colston is due for a big game. If Forte can catch 10 balls out of the backfield and Roddy can get the dreads flying against the Giants on the road then I’m sayin there’s a chance. If the good Romo shows up it could get fun…if the bad Romo shows up then say goodnight Gracie.




GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
BUTTA (6-4) -29 vs TLIC (2-8)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 150, BUTTA 131

TLIC comes off a heart breaking 2 point loss to the ND, Serena and Peyton trifecta. Butta “rolls” in on a high note having dispatched of ROSS and The Beards with the blowout of the week. Butta is looking for revenge after being one of the two lowly victims of TLIC this year. Although Favre has another delicious matchup at home and LT is having a “baby daddy” resurgence there appears to be too much firepower on the other side. Rodgers should have a good game in between being sacked like a pile of grain and AP will be taking all the fantasy points not generated by grandpa Brett. The WRs are also solidly in Butta’s favor with Sydney and Brandon coming off huge games although no Kyle “I love Southeast Polk” Orton could cause Marshall to go MIA. TLIC gets the edge in DEF and TE but that ain’t gonna cut it. Butta by 29.

AP PCS Rankings 11

AP#1 ND40: 8 wins already. SB playoff tickets already on sale. Venus is Ticket Manager. Beat TLIC by 2. They cant do anything wrong right now. No, it wasnt ND and Serena flipping off the stadium…it was…..

AP#2 MONTREAL: MM is rolling along just waiting for their shot at ND40. Kanye had no chance against the MACHINE.

AP#3: BUTTA: BUTTA gets back on track by hurting ROSS. They get reeling TLIC this week. BUTTA installing stripper polls at home games when Vandy's mom comes to the games

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: beats KC and and still hanging around. QB Brees and WR Wayne are a scary combo.

AP#5 KC BEES: Software still not speaking to KC. Software has gone into hiding while KC runs the show. The daily morning coffee between the two is postponed indefinitely

AP#6 ROSS: Its been a roller coaster season for ROSS. The fans have faith but MM is in front of them this week.

AP#7 FLC : The league has fined FLC and Kanye for flipping off the stadium in the loss to MM. We knew this was coming.

AP#8 TLIC: Too many single digit losses. Almost upends AP1 ND40. Unsure how to entice even season ticket holders to home games, TLIC is giving away free stock tips.

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W3)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L3)


GAME OF THE WEEK
KC BEES -5 (4-5) vs JOE (5-4)
LAST MEETING:

Software is happy again and being his slutty self this week. JOE got beat down but still hanging around. KC QB Warner vs JOE QB Brees. Add KC QB/RB RON BROWN to the mix and JOE has his hands full. KC Ronnie will throw another TD pass. JOE needs some production from the RBs or they have no chance. QB BREES needs some help. KC wins and gets back into the SB playoff race.



ROSS (4-5) -2 vs BUTTA (5-4)
LAST MEETING:

ROSS is really starting to come alive and they could make a playoff run. ROSS RBs Phat Turner and DeAngelo could carry them to some victories late in the season. BUTTA gets RB AP back just in time. This should be a good one. ROSS QB Brady is ripe for a big game. Red Oak fans are really getting pumped. They will edge out Butta in a slight upset.




MONTREAL (6-3) -11 vs FLC (3-6)
LAST MEETING:

MM might be the best team in the league. ND40 has a lot to say about that but they cant deny that they have some stiff competition. Serena knows about stiff when it comes to ND. Anyway, FLC has a large mountain to climb. Its like Oprah trying to get around on one of those kids blowup bounce houses you see at a kids carnival or gym. Just ugly lookin and not right. MM RBs Rice and CJ are gonna go gangsta on FLC. FLC needs to be firing on all cylinders. Hopefully QB Romo doesn’t meet any hot blonds in Green Bay. It’s a safe bet he wont. MM all the way.





GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
ND40 (7-2) -8 vs TLIC (2-7)
LAST MEETING:

The GUT says this is really bad timing for TLIC to try to get a win. They get ND40 and a very horny Serena. ND40 has nothing left but on the football field they are energized and unstoppable right now. TLIC could pull off a huge upset but the RBs Hightower and LT must get 25 plus each. ND40 goes 8-2 and is assured SB playoff love.

AP PCS RANKS, WEEK 10

AP#1 ND40: They are making everyone look silly. Now, 7-2 and looking like the odds on favorite to wing the Cup. Serena is just what this team needed.

AP#2 MONTREAL: Demolishes JOE LOU is now as solid as a #2 as you can get.

AP#3 BUTTA: Gets his lunch handed to him by ND40. Gets a giddy ROSS team next week

AP#4 JOE LOU: Montreal shows them who is in charge. QB BREES needs help

AP#5 KC BEES: Huge win over TLIC and the Software feels they should be at least at #4

AP#6 ROSS: A great win and now looking to knock off Butta to get into SB contention

AP#7 FLC: N'Ville mayor calls FLC after loss 5 times. FLC not returning call.

AP#8 TLIC: TLIC season ticket holders want to know where Agassi got that meth. They need something right now even if chemically induced.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 9

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WHO’S HOT: BUTTA (W3)
WHO’S NOT: KC BEES(L3)


GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 -15 (6-2) vs BUTTA (5-3)
LAST MEETING: ND40 181, BUTTA 116

The GAME OF THE WEEK features two old rivals. ND40 is the class of the league this year and seems to be getting stronger. Even when ND is out of the country the team doesn’t miss a beat. ND40 RB Gore is back and this team is scary right now. BUTTA is hot on fire but this will be a near impossible feat. ND40 QB PIMPLES, RB MJD AND GORE will be too much. The ND40 WRs are a bit inexperienced like ND40 at a Dallas strip club but it wont matter. BUTTA WRs must make up for a mess at RB. BUTTA RB AP is out with the bye and that leaves a huge problem. ND40 by 15 and this is OUR PICK OF THE WEEK.


JOE LOUIS (5-3) -1 vs MM (5-3)
LAST MEETING: JOE 176, MM 173

Back in week 2, these two clubs scores a combined 349 points. JOE won by 3 in the best game weve had all season. Looking at the game this week, its going to be another great one. The winner could be a solid AP#2. MM is finally getting the attention it deserves. JOE is still winning and with QB BREES will always be feared. MM RBs Rice and Johnson are going to give JL fits. JL QB BREES will be going all day to WR Wayne. JL WR Chad Johnson will have to play well. The JL RB are a bit suspect especially RB Stewart. The winner is in great shape going to the 2nd half of the season. This will be a close game and as much as we felt like taking MM, we feel that JOE LOU will somehow pull this off. JL by 1



FLC (3-5) -6 vs ROSS (3-5)
LAST MEETING: FLC 101, ROSS 70

The first meeting between these two was a real dog of a game. A real slop fest. Kanye taunted ROSS the week prior to the game if you remember and FLC did get over on ROSS. This week Kanye has been quiet and we are not sure why. Red Oak still has faith in their team as they have improved considerably. It’s a huge game for both teams….4-5 sounds a lot betta then 3-6 as the teams are starting to separate in the standings. Both teams have a lot of firepower going compared to week 2. ROSS QB Brady is dangerous as usual. FLC picks up QB Hasselhoff and inserts him as the starter. The FLC WRs have a nice advantage over ROSS’ WR troop. FLC WRs Colston and Roddy should be huge and ROSS doesn’t have much to stop it. ROSS RB Phat Turner should have a big game. Its gonna be a high scoring game unlike week 2 with FLC edging it out by 2 FGs




GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
KC (3-5) -3 vs TLIC (2-6)
LAST MEETING: KC 176, TLIC 134

What a huge game for TLIC. Not only beating their rival but starting the climb to rise from the basement. Although very comfy, the basement is cold and dry…..like Elizabeth Taylor. The Software is a mess and the relationship between KC and the Software is going south…..like Rihanna sitting in a car with Chris Brown. The GUT loves this game like Halloween candy one week later. Still great. This is a very interesting game. TLIC got blown out in the first meeting but this time around its going to be a lot closer. The TLIC backfield is as shaky as Ray Finkle going for the game winning kick…..LACES OUT DAN. KC must pounce on that and ride KC RBs Ronnie and Phat Jacobs to the Promised Land. KC QB Warner to WR Fitz could really kill TLIC but they haven’t been exactly on fire. The GUT says it’s a winnable game for TLC but KC will take it by 3.

AP PCS RANKINGS, WEEK 9

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: Starting to break away from the field. This team is clearly the class of the league. Big game vs Butta this week. Serena is pregnant…..maybe

AP#2 MONTREAL: Back at AP 2. Big 5 point victory over TLIC. Huge showdown verses JOE LOUIS this week

AP#3: BUTTA: Three wins a row and the feeling of Butta Ball is back. The dominate force. Big game vs AP1 ND40.

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: Another win. They are hanging around. A win MM and they are back.

AP#5 KC BEES: Software is not talking to KC at all now. Software drunk on the cover of US magazine isn’t helping either

AP#6 FLC : Kanye is pumped for the game verses ROSS. Kayne hates Texas. FLC needs a win

AP#7 ROSS: Red Oak mayor guarantees a win vs FLC….and tells Red Oak Gazette that “Kayne is a craka. Not me”

AP#8 TLIC: A very tough 5 point loss and now must put a string of wins together. TLIC RB Slaton has left town. The basement is not quite as organized as the ND40 Basement bed and breakfast looked back in the day but its damn nice. Only thing is recliner is stuck in the reclined position and TLIC cant get out.

BUTTA PICKS WEEK 8

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WHO’S HOT: BUTTA (W2)
WHO’S NOT: KC BEES(L2)


GAME OF THE WEEK
KC BEES -3 (3-4) vs BUTTA (4-3
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 112, KC 98

BUTTA won a horrible week one game. It was played in the mud in KC. This time around both teams are contending for a SB playoff spot. Both teams are on two different streaks. Two wins in a row for BUTTA. Two losses in a row for the SOFTWARE….and boy is the SOFTWARE getting crazy. Calling out KC, getting drunk, not having breakfast at Denny’s with KC…..its the usual behavior of the Software during a losing streak. BUTTA wouldn’t mind hiring a Serena of his own. He’d be getting some crazy love right now. This will be another grinding it out game. The WRs have become the strong point of both teams. If KC WR AJ is healthy KC gets the edge. BUTTA QB Aaron must have a big game. This one will be close but KC TE Dallas will be the difference. If KC loses THE SOFTWARE will be calling Andre Agassi for a little purchase of crystal meth.




JOE LOUIS (4-3) -1 vs FLC (3-4)
LAST MEETING: JOE 175, FLC 130

This is a monster game for FLC. Getting back to .500 would be huge after flirting with the TLIC basement a couple of weeks ago. JOE LOUIS could be getting just a little desperate. FLC and Kanye have been having a great week. Rolling in the minivan in N-ville and steak dinners with the Ville Mayor. We love that guy. JOE LOU QB Brees vs FLC QB Romo should produce lots of points. JL WR TO is back in action but we are not expecting much. The RBs will decide this one JL RB Marion and RB S-Jax vs FLC RB Darrren “FLC stole from TLIC” Sproles and RB Addai. In the end we give the slight edge to JOE LOUIS but this will be a high scoring affair. A whole lot of players going on MNF.



ND40 (5-2) -16 vs ROSS (3-4)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 165, ND40 139

THE BATTLE OF TEXAS is always a great matchup. In week 1, ROSS punked the present AP PCS #1 ND40. ROSS has come alive. Last weeks loss still hasn’t dampened the spirits of RED OAK. They have won 2 out of 3 and a win here puts them at .500. ND40 and Serena went to Mexico this week for a couple of days of snorkeling, parasailing and mad sex. What Dayna doesn’t know, wont hurt her but she is getting suspicious. ROSS has been hit by the Brady bye. Wrong time for that. Also, ROSS has WR Crabtree ready to go, The lineup is looking iffy but the RBs are strong as is TE Gonzo. #1 ND40 is looking ridiculously strong this week. ND40 RB Gore is back. ND40 QB Pimples is ready. ND40 RB MJD is geared up for ROSS. The pick of the week is ND40.






GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
MM (4-3) -2 vs TLIC (2-5)
LAST MEETING: MM 118, TLIC 90

The GUT has been eating a lot of Campbell’s Chunky Soup. Its cheap, it has a lot of sodium and it fills you up. The GUT feels like Ladainian Tomlinson. TLIC must win this game. Its not really a must win yet but they really need to win. MM RBs T-Jones and Chris Johnson will be tough to stop. TLIC brings RB LT and Slaton to the table and we think they finally to do something big. The GUT looks at this game and sees a possible upset. The TLIC lineup looks strong but will they follow through. The GUT says no bit it will be mighty close. If TLIC loses and goes to 2-6 they must win out to have any shot at SB playoff love.

AP PCS RANKINGS, WEEK 8

AP#1 ND40: They are back on top after a huge victory over The Software. Serena is back on top as well. Its safe to say ND40 may not be able to get it up until week 8. That said, ND40 is AP1 and were headed to November here. Something special is brewing in North Texas.

AP#2 BUTTAFUOCO: Their highest regular season ranking in quite a while. Butta wants to hit the bars with The Software but KC will not allow it.

AP#3 MONTREAL: MM loses the AP1 ranking for now. The leagues most disrespected team is looking to hire a consultant such as a Serena or Kanye but the dont want to pay another high dolla salary.

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: They barely escape an upstart ROSS bunch. Big win for them.

AP#5 KC BEES: The Software and KC at odds again. Always after 2 losses in a row, The Software gets real mouthy, gets drunk and starts talking of ripping ownership way from KC. The Software reportedly called KC a dummy. "Im the ventriloquist and hes the dummy." This is such a Mike Tyson/Robin Givens relationship. Stay tuned. Im sure a big win next week and all will be well.

AP#6 FLC: TMZ.COM is reporting that Kayne left bodily fluids all over the TLIC basement after being still bitter over TLIC throwing his keys at him. FLC with their biggest win of the year.

AP#7 ROSS: A great effort for ROSS who is still in the thick of a great SB playoff race. Red Oak fans are as faithful and hopeful as ever. No brown bags. Just beards.

AP#8 TLIC: Just when he leaves, they bring him back in. 'They' is referring to one Matt Cassells. TLIC is back in the basement recliner. Unfortunatly, the Merry Maids had to come out to clean and one of them was a big Kanye fan. A bad week for TLIC

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WHO’S HOT: ROSS (W2)
WHO’S NOT: FLC (L2)


GAME OF THE WEEK
KC BEES (3-3) -8 vs ND40 (4-2)
LAST MEETING: KC BEES 156, ND40 85
2008 SERIES:KC 2-0

This is the game of the week. KC is the league’s second highest scoring team, but needs a win to avoid moving to a losing record after last week’s lucky come from behind victory by the Red Oak Sea Snakes (no offense, Ross). ND40 is third in scoring in the league, and sits atop the league standings at 4-2 with Montreal. ND has a big QB advantage with Manning against the hapless Rams. KC’s WR corps of Fitzy and Johnson will be trouble for ND, who doesn’t field a single WR who would start in most 12 team leagues. KC also has the edge at RB with Cedric and Ronnie, although Gore could have a big day for ND. ND will try to ruin KC’s week with second straight MNF come from behind victory, but the Philly defense will fall short.

HAWKEYE COMPARISONS:
ND: Peyton Manning = Chuck Long
KC: Cedric Benson = Nick Bell

STAT ANALYSIS:

KC Bees ND40
Average weekly points 141.2 140.7
95% Confidence Interval on expected future point total 67-215 99-182


Pick: KC minus 8




MONTREAL (4-2) -1 vs BUTTA (3-3)
LAST MEETING: MONTREAL 184, BUTTA 139
2008 SERIES: MONTREAL 2-0

AP #1 MM is tries to avoid a letdown after a huge 200+ point week. Butta tries to jump above .500 with a win this week. Both QBs play against crappy teams, but Butta has the edge with Rodgers this week. MM’s WRs will come up big, though. Moss and Braylon will be solid, but Heinz will have a big day against the Vikes, and could be the difference in this matchup. All four starting RBs in this matchup are playing games away from home. Butta hopes to ride AP home to victory against a Pitt def, but Thomas Jones may be just enough for MM to sneak away with another “W” and stay at AP #1.

HAWKEYE COMPARISONS:
MM: Phillip Rivers = Mark Vlasic
Butta: Nate Kaeding = Nate Kaeding

STAT ANALYSIS:

MM Butta
Average weekly points 153.3 125.8
95% Confidence Interval on expected future point total 72-234 53-199


Pick: MM minus 2




ROSS (3-3) -10 vs JOE LOUIS (3-3)
LAST MEETING: JOE 148, ROSS 98
LAST SEASON SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

Ross comes in with the league’s longest winning streak (W2). JL tries to bounce back from a 90 point showing in Week 6. This matchup is the QB delight of the week: Brady vs. Brees. Both of these guys could ring up 70 fantasy points in a given week and are enough to be the difference in this matchup. We give the edge to Ross and Brady since they are up against a weak TB defense. JL will get a big game from WRs Wayne and Chad 85, and will need it due to Ross’ advantage at RB. If the QBs don’t go too crazy in this one, Ross’ RBs D’Angelo and Turner will be the difference in this matchup. As much as I hate to do this after Ross’ win over KC last week, I have to pick him to move to 4-3.

HAWKEYE COMPARISONS:
JL: Reggie Wayne = Quinn Early
Ross: Tony Gonzalez = Dallas Clark

STAT ANALYSIS:

JL Ross
Average weekly points 133.3 118.5
95% Confidence Interval on expected future point total 56-211 31-206


Pick: Ross minus 10



GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
FLC (2-4) -1 vs TLIC (2-4)
LAST MEETING: FLC 133, TLIC 90
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-0

These two teams come in hungry for a win. The QB battle will be good with Eli vs. Favre. Eli will be solid; Favre is due for a return to the interception passer that we all know and love. He’s playing at Pitt and Troy Polamalu. The RB battle will be a pretty even one, with LT and Forte cancelling each other out. The difference in this matchup will be the WRs. Can Roddy and Colston outscore TLIC’s Jennings and Steve Smith (the other one)? We think they can. Both teams come in at 2-4; the only thing I can guarantee is that the loser will be in last place in the league. Edge to FLC.

HAWKEYE COMPARISONS:
TLIC: LaDanian Tomlinson = Ronnie Harmon
FLC: Eli Manning = Jim Hartlieb (both are little brothers to a better QB)

STAT ANALYSIS:

TLIC FLC
Average weekly points 123.2 116.2
95% Confidence Interval on expected future point total 75-171 86-146


Pick: FLC minus 1

AP PCS RANKINGS 10/20/09

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 MONTREAL: The disrespected team hits AP PCS #1 beat from #1 ND40. MM caused ND40’s bedroom to be Serena-less at least for this week.

AP#2 ND40: With ND40 in Serena’s doghouse, he has gone back to watching porn titled, “Big Black Booty Attack 7”.

AP#3: KC BEES: With the devastating loss to ROSS, Software has considered rehab at KC’s request.

AP#4 BUTTA: BUTTAs best performance of the year. Reportedly called Favre to talk shizzle about TLIC.

AP#5 JOE LOUIS: BUTTAPICKS.COM predicted the loss but not the benching of QB Drew

AP#6 ROSS: Sea Snake FEVER is back in RED OAK. The town is lit up in team colors and clip on beards are on everyone. Even the rabbi’s and nuns in town are sporting.

AP#7 TLIC: As reported by TMZ.COM TLIC threw a set of keys at Kanye at a club. Duplicate basement keys.

AP#8 FLC: We are aren’t going to tell you what Kanye has done to the basement recliner. TLIC, FLC and Kanye living together is a VH-1 reality show in the making.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 6 (one guest pick by ND40)

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W4)
WHO’S NOT: BUTTA (L2)


GAME OF THE WEEK
MONTREAL (3-2) -11 vs ND40 (4-1)
LAST MEETING: MONTREAL 145, ND40 135
2008 SERIES: MM 2-0


What in the name of Jimmy the Greek is going on with this Guest Butta pick? According to the Yahoo! matchup, ND40 oz. wins by three. Don’t be fooled, folks. ND40 at -3 is a sucker’s bet. It’s the kind of bet that causes FLC to give $20 to his co-worker heading to Vegas, confident in an ND40 oz. cover. It’s the kind of line that the I-O-W-A Hockeyes were getting the last two weeks. Seriously – Iowa – 21.5 against Arkansas State and -9 against Meatchicken? ND40 wishes he was in Vegas the last two weeks. He sucks at betting – just ask T who had to listen to him bitch and moan in St. Louis after losing very quickly in blackjack. But, ND40 oz. would have put money on both Arkansas State and the Cheatin’ Rodriguezes to beat the spread. And, he would have won.

But, back to the game analysis. ND40 oz. is very, very nervous. Serena has been placated the last four weeks with two low-stress wins and two games pulled out of the fire by Pimples Manning. Her love-making has been gentle, and she’s even been willing to cuddle afterwards. But, it ends this week. ND40 oz. is about to get exposed by a very solid Montreal Machine, and it’s going to suck coming home Sunday night. I’m thinking that Serena starts with the yelling, smashes a few tennis rackets on the floor, and threatens to jam tennis balls into areas of the anatomy not intended for such things. Then, she’ll call sister Venus, who will come at ND40 oz. like a spider monkey. It’s not like ND40 oz. can even soothe the sisters with highlights of the Miami Dolphins game and those wacky Wildcat plays – it’s a friggin’ bye week.

I think that Big Ben and Braylon Edwards make the difference in this game, as the other matchups are pretty even. Yes, ND40 oz. has Santonio in for the Steelers, but Big Ben loves his Hines, his Heath, and he’ll distribute the ball enough to keep Santonio from helping to dent MM’s score. The Braylon pickup is solid. How would you like to go from a horrible Cleveland team, where the winning quarterback just went 2-for-17, and A.J. Hawk’s wife’s brother is apparently selling his house. I don’t think that Braylon-to-the-Jets has exactly the same stature as when Randy Moss went to New England, but that’s going to be a very solid play for MM for the rest of the season.

ND40 oz. is playing with backups, who will probably have okay, but not great games. One wild card could be MJD against a terrible St. Louis team. Yahoo! is projecting big points, which generally don’t come to fruition unless you’re Pimples Manning this year. ND40 is intrigued by the first start of Kevin Jones. It’s not that he’s expecting greatness, but who knows?

It’s been a fun ride for ND40 oz. so far this year. ND40 oz. is hoping that the fans (and Serena) will remember the fact that the team is assured of a winning record in the first half of the season, and has managed to get through the first two weeks of October with W’s. Hopefully, the return of Pimples, a healthy Frank Gore, and Witten in Week 7 will mean good things in another huge game against KC.





BUTTA (2-3) -4 vs FLC (2-3)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 137, FLC 118
2008 SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

Kanye is conflicted. He really likes Butta and the way he rolls. He has nothing really bad to say this week. There was one problem though. On the flight back to Chicago, Kayne and FLC both flew first class together. Northwest Airlines with 6 connections if you must know. The flight attendant (airline waitress) was passing out hot towels after their terrible meal. The flight attendant proceeds to say, “Here is your towel, Mr Skerf.”. Kanye went off. Both FLC and Kanye verbally abused her like a Jim Hasslett/Aaron Brooks domestic situation. Both BUTTA and FLC have really had an up and down campaign this year. Its a battle of 2 and 3’s. The winner goes to .500 and still has eyes on the SB playoffs. The loser has some digging to do and has one foot in the TB playoff grave. Kayne went off on the step-dad last week as he had his FLCs back. The step-dad is defeated but has takin a liking to the East Coast rap scene. Step-dad has a new name . They call him ,“Ol’ Dirty Wanna-B Skerf Dawg”. Kanye is not sure what to think of that development. FLC QB Eli vs BUTTA QB Aaron is going to be the difference. Both RBs and WRs are really even in this matchup. This one rides on BUTTA TO wanna-be WR Marshall on MNF. Butta by 4.





KC BEES (3-2) -8 vs ROSS (2-3)
LAST MEETING: KC 129, ROSS 105
LAST SEASON SERIES: KC 2-0

The Red Oak faithful verses the SOFTWARE. How bout ROSS? A huge victory last week. Eye of Tiger. ROSS is at 2-3 and a win this week would create havoc in Red Oak. KC had yet another come from behind victory. They are sitting pretty and the SOFTWARE has really turned into quite the celebrity this year. TMZ.com is reporting that there is a XXX video circulating that shows Paris Hilton and The Software on vacation in Mexico. The two taped themselves having relations. The video is being dubbed, “Software Download In Paris”. KC is now in the middle of a public relations nightmare. KC is without TE CLARK and RB RONNIE. KC RB BENSON will be just fine though. KC WRs are dominate and will hurt ROSS like Clubber Lang hurt Rocky in the first fight. ROSS has a chance in this game though, folks. They just need to click on all cylinders. KC RB Phat Jacobs vs ROSS RB Ahmad “Don’t call me Rashad” Bradshaw. We love RB Ahmad and it’s a very interesting matchup verses the hefty KC RB Jacobs. Then, you have HEFTY ROSS RB Phat Turner, who we feel is turning the corner. How much can RB Jacobs, RB Turner and Oprah collectively eat? A lot. KC wins by 8 but ROSS is sneaky play here with a pissed off QB Tom.




GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
TLIC (1-4) -1 vs JOE (3-2)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 184, TLIC 152
LAST SEASON SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

TLIC in the GUT PICK again. Its like Captain with Coke, Peanut butter with da jelly, ND40 with Serena, Ol Dirty Wanna-B Skerf with an argument. The TLIC basement has the George Foreman heatin up every night. He even signed his name on it. JOE LOUIS has a little QB contro going on. QB Brees and QB Donovan arguing like school girls. Folks, believe it or not, GUT is having trouble with this one. The GUT thinks the JOEs look flat this week and TLIC is hungry…like the GUT at a Kansas City area BBQ. GUT says TLIC wins and causes a possible basement lease fiasco.

AP PCS RANKINGS headed into week 6

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: If ND40 wanted Serena right now, she would do his laundry and rock his world every night. ND40 half way to a SCHERF CUP

AP#2 KC BEES: The Software may end up like River Phoenix after the celebrating this week. KC does not approve.

AP#3: MONTREAL: BUTTAPICKS.COM predicted the heartbreaker and it happened again to MM. This is a SB playoff type of team/

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: JOE surprised Butta. BUTTA lays and egg and JOE puts up big points to stay in contention.

AP#5 FLC: Kanye is really pissed and now wants a piece of the stepdad and the twin brother.

AP#6 BUTTA: BUTTA was downright pathetic this week and deserves a big nothing

AP#7 ROSS: Red Oak is alive again. People are talking. A win next week and they are back in it.

AP#8 TLIC: Well, the lease was canceled and TLIC is now comfy in the basement recliner.

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W3), MM (W2)
WHO’S NOT: ROSS (L3)


GAME OF THE WEEK
SCHERF BOWL XII
ND40 (3-1) -14 vs FLC (1-2)
LAST MEETING: FLC 140, ND40 115
2008 SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

2006-XVI- FLC 146, ND40 97
XVII-FLC 172, ND40 120

2007-XVIII- FLC 134, ND40 120
XIX- FLC 167, ND40 121

2008- XX- ND40 133, FLC 117
XXI- FLC 140, ND40 115

FLC HAS WON 3 SCHERF CUPS IN A ROW AND 5 OUT OF 6 SCHERF BOWLS.

ND40 vs FLC. Serena vs Kanye. What a matchup folks. ND40 Team Consultant Serena has been waiting for this for a long time. FLC Team Consultant and Hypeman Kanye has been relatively quiet about the battle until yesterday. “Serena is a gold digger. She aint lookin for no broke honkey’s. Get down girl, go head get down. She wants ND40s lavish life style and his classical music collection. She found out all the cd’s were alphabetized, she was like…Im getting me some pasty whitey action.” ND40 Serena came back, “I will shove these balls right down his throat, while pointing to a poster of ND40’s midsection”. FLC faces a AP PCS 1 ND40. Lots of pressure in N-ville right now. The ‘Ville mayor has declared this FLC/Kanye Diversity week. Except for RED OAK, North Texas has been celebrating the AP PCS ranking of ND40. Folks, ND40 is a freight train right now. Winners of 3 in a row. ND40 PIMPLES is a rock star. Hes playing as good as we’ve ever seen. ND40 Witten will have a big game. ND40 RB MJD hasn’t even been at his best. ND40 WR San Antonio will be big. You know where Im going. FLC has a lot stacked up against them. FLC RB Westy is back and if the upset is going to occur, FLC RB WESTY, FLC QB ROMO and TE CELEK must be on fire. Its an uphill climb for FLC this week in the granddaddy game of them all. ND40 runs away this one. Kanye is fired up for this one.



KC BEES (2-2) -2 vs MONTREAL (3-1)
LAST MEETING: KC 122, MM 121
2008 SERIES: KC 2-1

Folks, this is going be a classic game. Last year, it was a one-point game in the SB PLAYOFFS. This week we predict a heartbreaker for the loser. We predict a combined 300 plus point game. Big points in this one. MM is still unloved and underestimated. They keep winning. They are the lunch lady who cooks the incredible grilled cheese when you were in high school. You could eat 5 of those things but you never think about who cooked them. Who buttered the bread. Who grilled that bread to perfect crispiness? IT’S THE LUNCH LADY, MAN. On the other side, the SOFTWARE and KC are getting along,….although KC cant stand the sunglasses the software has been sporting….lime green, big frames. The guy thinks hes Elton Freaking John. You look at this matchup and we see points everywhere. Big matchup here is KC RB Ronnie vs MM RB Ray Ray. Whoever gets the edge wins the game. Folks, KC by 2 and another heartbreaker for MM.




BUTTA (2-2) -5 vs JOE (2-2)
LAST MEETING: JOE 103, BUTTA 51
LAST SEASON SERIES: JOE 2-0

Last years matchup featured the 51 point game from Butta. A new low for the BUTTAFUCO franchise. JOE LOUIS has been real quiet because they know everyone is gunning for them. Butta has a lot of talent on bye. So does JOE but Butta has done a better job of covering the holes. BUTTA BY 5




GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
ROSS (1-3) -1 vs TLIC (1-3)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 128, TLIC 109
LAST SEASON SERIES: ROSS 2-1

Just what in the “wide world of sports” is going on here? ROSS is spiraling out of control after the week 1 victory. TLIC could be coming out of it. THE GUT is having much fun watching TLIC decorate the basement. Now, ROSS is in the GUT game for two weeks straight and that aint good. Red Oak had such high hopes for this year. Its only week 4, so both team have time to get there act together. Folks, the loser gets the basement all to themselves. A huge game for teams. The GUT is looking at this weeks lineups and feels gassy. ROSS RBs have been underachieving horribly. This week they finally breakout and beat TLIC in a low scoring GUT slugfest. This will be a real ugly game but one of these teams will GUT it out like OPRAH trying to eat that last funnel cake at the Illinois State Fair. ROSS, YES, ROSS BY ONE. Remember it’s the GUT picking…..not the braintrust at BUTTAPICKS.COM

AP PCS RANKINGS

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: If ND40 wanted Serena right now, he could have her anyway possible. ND40 is AP1 in October. Its been a long time. SCHERF BOWL is next

AP#2 MONTREAL: They just keep winning. A big showdown vs The Software this week.

AP#3: KC BEES: Software says MM couldn’t wear his jock.

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: All of a sudden the defending champs look just normal. QB Brees on a bye.

AP#5 BUTTA: Just hanging around and now will watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 with TLIC.

AP#6 FLC: Kanye has guaranteed a win over AP1 ND40 in Scherf Bowl

AP#7 TLIC: Someone is ready to lease the basement out. Its clean and it has Jennifer Aniston posters everywhere

AP#8 ROSS: What is going on in RED OAK. Local papers is running contest predicting when ROSS will fire the front office. Winner gets clip-on beard that is now worth .43 at Dollar General.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 4 featuring THE DALLAS STARS ICE GIRLS

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WHO’S HOT: ND40, KC (W2)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L5)


GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 (2-1) -2 vs JOE (2-1)
LAST MEETING: ND40 166, JOE 115
2008 SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

AP2 vs AP3. If KC loses, this game is for AP1. These two teams have started off like freaking gangbusters. ND40 has won 2 straight and had a huge come from behind victory vs TLIC. JOE loses last weeks GOTW with QB Brees getting contained like Mel Gibson at a traffic stop or better yet like Butta in his work cubicle. ND40 goes 2-1 in September but now its October so temper your expectations for them. This is a great MATCHUP OF ND40 Peyton vs JOE QB Brees. We tend do think Peyton will overshadow Brees like Cher overshadowed Sonny. This is going to be a great game but in the end ND40 TE Witten makes the difference. Take ND40 by a safety. Serena is gonna plant a phat juicy one on ND after the victory.



BUTTA (2-1) -7 vs TLICIOUS (0-3)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 158, TLIC 101
2008 SERIES: BUTTA 3-0

Two of the league titans meet yet again. #1 AND #2 in overall wins and SUPA BOWLs. These days they are just mediocre. Well, TLIC has the de-humidifier going in the basement. BUTTA is winning ugly. Two new QB starters enter the fray. BUTTA QB CUTLER and TLIC goes back to QB CARSON. Both should have very high scoring afternoons. BUTTA RB AP goes on MNF so expect another nail biter for TLIC to endure on Monday. TLIC RB Slaton is off to a very slow start. BUTTA RB AP vs TLIC WR JENNINGS on MNF. TLIC keep inviting BUTTA to the basement to watch TV but Butta keeps declining. We have to give this one to BUTTA by a late RB AP TD on MNF.



KC (2-1) -3 vs FLC (1-2)
LAST MEETING: KC 129, FLC 115
LAST SEASON SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

AP1 cant take FLC lightly. FLCs lineup features two upstart WRs with lots of potential but they could flame out as well. That’s what youngsters do. Kanye canceled his world tour with Lady GaGa. Why is this noteworthy? FLC was pinned to be Kayne’s hypeman. This means FLC was going to leave his team behind for 3 weeks…ala ND40. FLCs biggest disappointment? His candlelight dinner with Lady GaGa. KC and Software rolled over JOE LOUIS. Now they must protect the PCS 1. This is a huge game for FLC as they cannot afford to go 1-3. The basement doesn’t have room for Kanye’s posse, Speaking of celebs, “THE SOFTWARE” just came out with his own clothing line. KC is weary of this. FLC QB ROMO has to play well this week to have a chance. However, we are not sold on KC QB Charles Shaub or WR Andre doing that much damage this week. Should be an outstanding game. We really think FLC will play well and definitely has a shot but we like KC who has a lot of Uncle Mo.






GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
MONTREAL (2-1) -16 vs ROSS (1-2)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 163, MM 122
LAST SEASON SERIES: 1-1

ROSS has to get it together. MM gets no respect. The Gut loves ROSS with all the tradition and incredibly hot women in RED OAK. The GUT loves the BBQ in RED OAK too. GUT just loves RED OAK. ROSS is going to have to scratch and claw to beat MM. The MM backfield of Pierre and Chris spell BIG BIG trouble for ROSS. As much as the GUT loves the fans of RED OAK, GUT is going MM by two TDS

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 4

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 KC BEES: ND40 has a lot to say about this but KC is the #1 team in the country for now. KC knocks off JOE and ND40 employee Serena wants to stick a tennis ball down the SOFTWARE’s throat. Software and KC are best buddies for at least a week.

AP#2 ND40: It’s September and NO ONE circles the wagons in September like ND40.

AP#3: JOE LOUIS: QB Brees get shutdown.

AP#4 MONTREAL: They quietly win football games. If it wasn’t for the JOE comeback win last week, this team is unbeaten.

AP#5 BUTTA: Winning ugly in September again. Tlic invites BUTTA to the basement for some BBQ. Butta declines.

AP#6 FLC: Kanye tells QB Romo he’s terrible.

AP#7 ROSS: RED OAK fans are asking questions now. Where are QB Brady and RB Phat Turner? Some clip-on beards have appeared at Dollar Zone. Not a lot but some.

AP#8 TLIC: TLIC is getting no love from the fantasy football gods but he does get the WB in the basement. Taco Bell wrappers everywhere and lots of B-rated comedy sit-coms. Doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun.

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WHO’S HOT: JOE LOU (W4)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L4)


GAME OF THE WEEK
KC (1-1) -7 vs JOU LOU (2-0)
LAST MEETING: JOE 141, KC 93 (SUPA BOWL X)
2008 SERIES: JOE LOUIS 3-0

REMATCH OF LAST YEARS SUPA BOWL. JOE LOUIS swept this series last year. These two went at it hard last year and now in week 3 we have the GOTW. The winner will be AP PCS #1 going into week 4. Not a better early season matchup in a long long time. TMZ is reporting that the “software” was seen in West Hollywood partying hard….and we are talking drugs, too. Software went out and bought new duds, bling, went clubbin and was reportedly snortin’ with Lohan. When asked about this, Software reps said, “Software is so pumped about the TLIC victory, that he flew to Cali for the NIGHT!” KC has no comment as he was home with the wife and kids playing scrabble. These two are the modern age Odd Couple. JOE LOUIS’ comeback in week 2 was one of the greatest comebacks in Pastygangsta Football History. Weve had other incredible comebacks in league history but this one will not be soon forgotten. An incredible game between MM and JOE last week. This week KC RB Benson gets the start. The KC QB HYVEE and WR FITZ will be better than JL QB BREES. JL RB STEWART gets the nod for JL and it will be up to him to win on MNF. Folks we like KC to win here and grab AP PCS 1 going into week 4.



ND40 (1-1) -14 vs TLICIOUS (0-2)
LAST MEETING: ND40 161, TLIC 116
2008 SERIES: ND40 2-0

Usually the basement team, gets the GUT PICK but this week we feel the basement team vs AP2 deserves honorable mention. Plus, a win here by TLIC and things can turn around in a hurry. ND40 was the TEAM OF THE WEEK last week with 180plus. This team is for real. Hiring Serena has paid off for ND40. Now, she wants a piece of ownership. Not so fast S-Will. Dayna will nix that faster than Oprah can body slam Steadman. TLIC has a lot of potential in this one. This thing falls on the shoulders of QB Trent. Hes gotta throw a lot. TLIC RB HIGHTOWER needs to be very active…..like the time he arrested those hooligans in the 2nd Police Academy. Oh, the laughs. If you don’t know Hightower like we do….heres a bio.

Hightower was a florist before joining the academy. He is best known for his immense stature and inhuman strength (Hightower practices for his driving test by ripping the front seat out of a compact car (a 1977 Honda Civic owned by Copeland), and steering comfortably from the back). However, he is the most soft-spoken of all the characters. Despite his gigantic size, Hightower has sometimes admitted that he lacks self-confidence, such as when he tells Mahoney that he has not driven a car since he was twelve years old, and fears failing out of the police academy as he will not pass the driving test. His character often breaks things or uses force to threaten the bad guys. Other examples of him using his strength were when he lifted up the practice squad car with Copeland inside, who had insulted his friend Hooks by calling her a "dumb fat jiggaboo". He can also drop easily into bad-cop mode, to gain the trust of crooks he's about to arrest. However, he too graduated from the academy with a decoration for bravery, and eventually made Lieutenant after wrestling an alligator in order to save Harris' life.

How TLIC trusts this guy, well never know. Rumor has it that, TE Hooks is looking to sign a deal with TLIC if things go further south. ND40 looks really strong is emerging as a top team. The RBs of Gore and MJD are going to tough. ND40 by 2 long TDs by QB Ryan


MM (1-1) -11 vs FLC (1-1)
LAST MEETING: FLC 159, MONTREAL 126 (3RD PLACE BOWL)
LAST SEASON SERIES: MM 2-1

Poor MM. How many times can they get punked after they put out a huge offensive performance? Not even record breaker MM RB C-JOHNSON could save them. FLC toyed with ROSS last week. Now, all we are hearing about is Kanye and FLC rolling through N-VILLE in the mini-van. Listen, if you are bouncing through N-VILLE it can only be a mini-van. Kanye doesn’t mind suburbia. We just want to know how many N-ville hot moms can fit in this ride. FLC is spent all his change on RB Sproles and now inserts him as the starter. FLC WR Johnny Knox is more Joliet than N-Ville. MM QB Rivers will face FLC Eli. Give the edge to Eli. FLC QB Romo has been benched as the world is turning against him. This will be our best, closest game of the week. MM just has to win this game after last weeks craziness. MM by 11.








GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
BUTTA (1-1) -6 vs ROSS (1-1)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 151, BUTTA 130
LAST SEASON SERIES: 1-1

The loser of this game is going to have some digging to do. If TLIC wins, the loser could very well be ready to at least lease out the TLIC basement. ROSS is reeling after the poor performance last week. This team will rely on QB Brady. The ROSS WRs are as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop. BUTTA….we mean, TEAM AP is just that. BUTTA RB AP runs the show. BUTTA QB RODGERS should finally breakout. If not, our man Cutler is waiting. BUTTA has some good matchups and with inconsistent ROSS WRS in the mix, the GUT has to go BUTTA.

AP PCS RANKINGS

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 JOE LOUIS: Unreal

AP#2 ND40: Hands BUTTA a beating and is one away from the top spot. ND40 fans have forgiven. Gets a desperate TLIC next week.

AP#3: MONTREAL: MM gets beat on a last minute catch in another incredible game between JOE and MM. MM stays in the #3 spot. Favre gets benched again and thinks he can turn TLIC around. He wants out of MONTREAL. Stay tuned.

AP#4 KC: The software and KC were at Denny’s having coffee and grand slam breakfasts while laughing it up. These two and their love-hate relationship are about to land a VH1 reality show.

AP#5 FLC: Big victory over ROSS and Kayne says, “I told you so”

AP#6 ROSS: Red Oak faithful just see this as a speed bump but they better beat BUTTA next week or people will begin to talk. And in that town that could devastating. Kayne is hated in Red Oak

AP#7 BUTTA: A big drop in confidence in the Toilet Bowl champs. TLIC invites BUTTA over to the basement to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000. Butta declines.

AP#8 TLIC: TLIC put up a valiant fight vs KC. Now, 9 losses in last 10 games. TLIC has finally gotten rid of all of ND40s trash out of the basement. Now, there are Tiffini Amber Thiessen posters everywhere. The ND40 Bed and Breakfast Basement is now officially out of biness.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 2

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WHO’S HOT: JOE LOU, BUTTA (W3)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L3)


GAME OF THE WEEK
MM (1-0) -2 vs JOU LOU (1-0)
LAST MEETING: JOE 122, MONTREAL 120
2008 SERIES: 1-1

AP1 and AP3 going at it in week 2. THIS is OUR GAME OF THE WEEK. After MM QB FAVRE whined long enough MM gave in and is thus the starter in vs JOE LOU. Lets face facts folks, MM QB FAVRE will be throwing against a high school DEF this week much like the one he was working out with in Mississippi. The kicker is…will he throw a pass over 10 yards because he sure didn’t in week one. MM QB Favre will have a game that is good enough to beat JOE LOU. This week JOE LOU QB BREES will be presented with more of a challenge. He’ll still put up the numbers but not 66 points. JOE LOU WR REG will cause MM major problems. JOE LOU WR GINN JR. is a bust who is afraid to get hit. MM WR RANDY is gonna go gangsta on JOE LOU. The running games will be big in this one. MM RB JOHNSON is due for a game. JOE LOU RB BARBER and STEVEN have the potential for big numbers but they wont. We are taking MM in a slight upset. MM QB Favre will think hes cool after this one



KC (0-1) -13 vs TLICIOUS (0-1)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 127, KC 120
2008 SERIES: 1-1

This is a big game in WEEK2 already. THE loser is most likely in charge of decorating the Bed and Breakfast basement that ND40 built a few years back. This is a rematch of arguably the best SUPA BOWL we’ve ever had. TLIC RB LT is on the rack already and its week 2. FLC stole Sproles and now TLIC is scrambling. Cant wait for the FLC-TLIC matchup. KC QB HYVEE WARNER AND WR FITZ should have better games this week. KC RB Portis is another guy who will rebound. BUTTA WR favorite…… TLIC WR SMITH is going to have a hard time with a bum as a QB. Out of nowhere, TLIC picks up QB TRENT and will throw him into game action. With the absence of TLIC RB LT, RB FREDDIE will have to play above and beyond. Folks, TLIC has lost 8 out of last 9 and we feel it will be 9 out of 10. KC wins by a health serving of Vine wings……..with a 2 hour wait………but its ok because we had salads.



BUTTA (1-0) -2 vs ND40 (0-1)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 146, ND40 92 (TOILET BOWL)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-1

TOILET BOWL 2009 REMATCH. This….. always a classic matchup. ND40 is back from Paris and now the fans demand he be on the field coaching for this one. ND40 has hired Serena Williams as a consultant. ND40 tagged Serena as a “Referee Consultant” and also his “Personal Assistant………Beotch” which has Dayna suspicious. BUTTA barely wins in week 1 with a lackluster team effort except for RB AP. ND40 RB tandem of RB MJD and FRANK will be very good this week. The key for ND is whether WR TO can put up some numbers. That would put them over the top. BUTTA RB AP is apparently the whole team.. BUTTA QB Rodgers must prove his worthiness as a 3rd pick to put up some points. For BUTTA WR Calvin must be a man. This will be a close game but we expect BUTTA to go 2-0. It will be a close game with high point totals.





GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
ROSS (1-0) -7 vs FLC (0-1)
LAST MEETING: FLC 142, ROSS 108
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-0

The GUT had HYVEE CHINESE today and is feelin it. ROSS has UNCLE MO in his corner. The clip-on beards are selling $39.66 at RED OAK WALMART. Last year, we hear they were in the bargain bin at the RED OAK Dollar Store. AND as reported by buttapicks.com news sources, FLC paid Kayne West to sabotage the RED OAK town celebration after the big victory last week. Kayne took the stage as a RED OAK equipment manager took the podium. KW grabbed the mic and said, “Its was a great win for you guys but FLC is much better. Did you watch FLC last week? Later”. FLC denies this but Kayne and FLC roll in Chi-town. The GUT loves this game like Lady GaGa like she likes the pen-is. ROSS has QB BRADY and a ton of momentum. FLC has Kayne so it’s a tough call for the GUT. GUT sees ROSS going 2-0.

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 JOE LOUIS: Looks like they are picking up where they left off. Good thing BUTTA drafted QB Brees and WR Wayne

AP#2 ROSS: We are telling you. RED OAK is buzzing about this team. Off to a flying start. Not used to living away from Bed and Breakfast Basement. Kayne flying to Red Oak to stop the happiness.

AP#3 MONTREAL: Has an upset QB Favre riding the bench. MONTREAL has turned things around with a great season last year and a nice start this week.

AP#4 BUTTAFUOCO: This team is all about RB AP who single-handedly beat KC (and the software). Butta QB Cutler on thin ice.

AP#5 ND40: The world traveler comes home to a loss and fans want answers. Losing to Texas rival ROSS is a tough start. ND40 WR TO wants more action and already wants ND to be on his VH1 show “THE TO SHOW”. ND40 declined.

AP#6 FLC: Ran into JOE LOU again. Better days ahead

AP#7 KC: KC wants answers from the software. Software wont answer cell phone.

AP#8 TLIC: 8 losses in last 9 games and fans rather stay home and watch MTV VMAs. TLIC hires additional ticket reps to boost ticket sales.

BUTTA PICKS 2009, WEEK 1

Buttapicks.com
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WHO’S HOT: JOE LOU, BUTTA (W2)
WHO’S NOT: MM, TLIC (L2)


GAME OF THE WEEK
ROSS (0-0) -2 vs ND40 (0-0)
LAST MEETING: ND40 115, ROSS 111 (TB Semifinals)
2008 SERIES: ND40 3-0

The battle of Texas is back……….or should I say Paris. While ND40 is frolicking in Paris there is a football game to be played. In fact, the ND40 faithful isn’t pleased with their absentee owner. ROSS on the other hand is ready for 2009. ROSS fans have a gleam in their eye. Some are sensing a dream season. The beards are out in full force…not paper bags. Last season, ND40 dominated ROSS like Chris Brown dominates Rihanna. It was just ugly. ROSS is pumped. ROSS is excited about QB Brady. He will turn him loose against ND40 QB Peyton. Peyton still remembers when ND40 traded him for a snickers bar and a ball bag to Butta. This could be a developing story all year. This matchup will down to both teams talented RBs. ND40 RB MJD and RB Gore vs ROSS studlies RB Phat Turner and RB Beverly DeAngelo. We give the edge to ROSS in a close, very fun battle. ROSS is one WR away from being a top team in the league. ND40….well…hes in Paris…..isnt that a porn?




KC (0-0) -4 vs BUTTA (0-0)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 171, KC 164
2008 SERIES: 1-1

The TB Champion vs the SB runner-up. The software is back and has his hands on the controls. He isn’t at odds with KC yet…but this is always a developing story. BUTTA took RB AP with the first pick in the draft but is nervous about it. BUTTA starts out slow every season, so the fans aren’t expecting fireworks in week 1. The KC WRs of AJ and Fitz are nails and will give BUTTA fits. BUTTAs WRs are tossups and they need WR Gonzo to have a big game. The KC RBs (Ronnie and Phat Jacobs) are hit or miss as well. We are going with the QB Warner to WR Fitz connection. KC by 4…..





TLIC (0-0) -3 vs MM (0-0)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 141, MM 141
LAST SEASON SERIES: TLIC 1-0-1

These two teams tied last year with 141. Damn. MM was the class of the league last year but fell short in the SB playoffs. TLIC rattled off 7 losses in their last 8 games to end the season. This year Tlic loves the Bengals. QB Carson and WR Henry……still waiting for a trade to bring in WR OCHO-FVCKO. We like TLIC because MM doesn’t have their lineup set. Really dough, TLIC RB LT, TE GATES and WR Jennings are going to go gangsta all over the place. Actually, we love TLIC WR Henry this week. TLIC by trey






GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
FLC (0-0) -7 vs JOE (0-0)
LAST MEETING: JOE 166, FLC 162 (SB Semifinal)
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-1

OHHHH, the gut is still hurting from DRAFTWEEKEND. This game features two top teams from last year. They met in the SB semifinals last year and it was a classic 166-162 game. FLC won the series though. In this tilt, FLC needs RB WESTY in a big way. If FLC RB Westy can be the WESTY we know, FLC looks like a genius. JOE has QB Brees yet again. The defending champ will need him to put up 40+. The gut really likes this game. It will be a high scoring affair much like the governor and Argentina broad. A great rematch of the playoff game we saw last year. The GUT goes with FLC in another game in the 160’s by both teams.

Island Golf

Yahoo Stattracker is free this year

http://sports.yahoo.com/fantasy/blog/roto_arcade/post/Yahoo-Fantasy-Football-09-Free-live-scoring-a?urn=fantasy,174179

Priceless

My understanding is that this kid was an intern and he was inserted into the broadcast at the last second when the regular sports guy failed to show up. He is probably scarred for life now.

DRAFTWEEKEND 2009 ANNOUNCEMENT

August 28th through 30th. Iowa City

http://www.riversidecasinoandresort.com/

more details coming soon