2009 DRAFT ORDER

1. BUTTA (TB CHAMP)
2. ND40
3. ROSS
4. TLIC
5. MONTREAL
6. FLC
7. KC BEES
8. JOE LOUIS (WORLD CHAMPION)

BUTTA PICKS, PCS BOWL FINAL EDITION

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WHO’S HOT: KC BEES, JOE LOU, BUTTA, ND40
WHO’S NOT: MM, TLIC


SUPA BOWL X

PREVIOUS SUPA BOWL RESULTS

SUPA BOWL I Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 177, T-licious 170 (1999)
SUPA BOWL II Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 207, Usual Suspects 138 (2000)
SUPA BOWL III Results- T-licious 166, Red Oak Sea Snakes 89 (2001)
SUPA BOWL IV Results- KC Bees 144, T-licious 138 (2002)
SUPA BOWL V Results- North Dallas40 156, T-licious 99 (2003)
SUPA BOWL VI Results-Buttafuoco Stallions 164, North Dallas40 96 (2004)
SUPA BOWL VII Results-Buttafuoco Stallions 169, Montreal Machine 131 (2005)
SUPA BOWL VIII Results- T-licious 139, Red Oak Sea Snakes 117 (2006)
SUPA BOWL VIV Results- Fun Lovin’Criminals 153, Buttafuoco Stallions 146


SUPA BOWL X
#3 JOE LOUIS LIONS (9-6) -14 vs #4 KC BEES (9-6)
SEASON SERIES: JOE LOUIS 2-0

KC makes it back to the big one. You have to go back to 2002 when KC beat TLIC on a last second TD to win SUPA BOWL IV. Was ‘the software’ even around then? I don’t even think it was born yet. The Software has been looking up “escorts” in South Beach during Supa Bowl week and KC is not amused. KCs 2002 Championship was their only SUPA BOWL appearance. JOE LOUIS has taken the league by storm. Last year, they win the regular season title. This year they have a shot to bring home the 8 lb trophy to Prairie City, Iowa.

JL QB Brees vs KC QB Hyvee is huge. You just cant bet against Brees. This is gonna be quick and simple, you gambling degenerates. JOE LOU has the game won at the RB position. JOE RBs Phat Turner and Ronnie will be too much for the KC backs and this will bring the trophy to PRAIRIE CITY. Man, I hope I’m wrong. FLC, get ready for UPS shipment to Prairie City. JOE FREAKING LOUIS by 14



HEARTLAND INN HEARTBREAK BOWL: 3RD PLACE GAME
#2 FLC (8-7) -2 vs #1 MONTREAL (9-5-1)
SEASON SERIES: MONTREAL 2-0

This game leaves us with a bad stomach ache. Poor MM with all the notoriety, their deportation back to Canada….the one point loss. The dream season came down to one ‘friggin’ point. Its sad and the league hurts for them. Then you have F to the L to the C. Naperville’s dirty birds get beat by a few in a high scoring love fiesta. FLC TE Boss has been yelling “laces out Dan” for 48 hours straight. The Abercrombie and Fitch Store in Naperville is flying their FLC flags at half staff. Dude, Im sad for these two teams. A horrible way to fall. They both had great campaigns. Its like what Gov Blago says, “I’ve got this thing, and it’s bleeping golden”. Dude, it “WAS” bleeping golden.

This is an excellent game. Two really really good teams. Looking at their lineups you can see why they were AP1 and AP2. We wont use logic here. Just hunches. MM has been going south the past few weeks. They lose to ROSS…then last weeks tragedy. FLC is the hotter club putting up bigger points and losing pretty last week and all year for that matter. FLC QB Cutler will be strong and MM QB Rivers has a tough game ahead. FLC De Angelo is on fire. We just are not sure what to make of MM RB T-Jones this week. WRs are a wash at this point but we favor FLC. FLC by 2 and they get the 5th or 6th draft pick. GREAT SEASON BY BOTH TEAMS.







TOILET BOWL X

PREVIOUS CHAMPS
1999- Red Oak Sea Snakes
2000- KC Bees
2001- SteelCurtain
2002 – Montreal Machine
2003---Red Oak Sea Snakes
2004---KC Bees
2005---TLicious
2006---KC Bees
2007—T-licious


#2 BUTTA (8-7) -7 vs #1 ND40 (8-7)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

BUTTAs 1st TOILET BOWL ever. BUTTA is all of a sudden one of the hottest teams in the league. ND40 is now a record 5-0 in first round TB games. They are 0-4 in the TOILET BOWL. Doesn’t look real good for them. FIRST OVERALL PICK AT STAKE.

This is an old rivalry game and these two have had great matchups in the past. This one will be decided on MNF in front of millions. Crazy things have happened between BUTTA and ND40 on MNF. This will be no different. ND40 RBs AP and Slaton verses BUTTA RBs Action Jackson and Lucky Pierre Thomas will be big. This will be a high scoring, old school love fest. We’ll go with ND40s horrible TB record and take BUTTA by 7





GUTTER BOWL: 7th PLACE GAME: 3rd pick overall
#3 TLICIOUS (4-10-1) -12 vs #4 ROSS (4-11)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

Just a disaster for both teams this year. This game is just wrong in so many ways. Both were AP7 and AP8 for most of the later half of the season. Now they play for the OVERALL AP7. This is like the Weedeater Bowl without the eater. Both should be smoking weed instead of playin this game. They would be better off. Hey, we gotta play this game with a 3rd pick at stake.

We are tired and like these two teams its time to go to bed. BUTTA PICKS is done for the 10th year and its been a doozy. Its been a fun season. A season as close as any other between AP1 and AP6 (sorry again TLIC and ROSS). Thanks for everyones help chipping in and Im looking forward to AUGUST 2009. GOOD NIGHT NOW.

…….OH and as for the winner of this game, there is no winner

-------OK, TLIC by 12 (don’t pick RB LT with the 3rd pick overall in 2009)

BUTTA PICKS, ROUND ONE PLAYOFF EDITION

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WHO’S HOT: FLC W3
WHO’S NOT: Nobody


SUPA BOWL PLAYOFFS
AP1 MM (9-4-1) -2 vs AP4 KC BEES (8-6)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

Hot damn. MM is having a season that no one thought was possible, not even the software. The regular season champ is 1-3 in the SB playoffs with one trip to the Supa Bowl. First time they have been here since 2005. KC BEES/SOFTWARE are right back where they left off last year. They got beat by FLC in the round one. KC is 5-3 in the SB PLAYOFFS with ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.

Folks, this game comes down to KC QB Hyvee Warner and WR Fitzy. KC desperately needs RB Barber in the lineup. Its up in the air and we wont know until gametime. MM is well balanced and RB Forte and Jones have done it for them all year….and they will this week. KCs RBs Hightower and LJ better bring it. The KC WRs not counting Fitz are ehhh. MM QB Rivers and WR Roddy will be big. MM has all the love this year. It will be close but MM will go the BIG ONE. The software is going to be pissed at KC until Aug 2009…..and then the software will be pissed again. We’ll see what effect the ROSS game had on ol MM. MM by 2



AP2 FLC (8-6) -1 vs AP3 JOE LOUIS (8-6)
SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-0

FLC was a monster down the stretch, rising to AP2 in the very last week. The defending champ was a laughing stock until last year. All of a sudden they are in great position to do it again. FLC is 4-2 in SBP play with ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP. JOE LOUIS has taken the league by storm since joining us in 2007. They are 1-1 in the SB playoffs.

Not only is this a big game, it’s the GAME OF THE WEEK. Two evenly matched teams. FLC QB Cutler vs JOE QB Brees. Damn, it don’t get better than that. FLC WR Andre vs JOE WR Randy. FLC RB DeAngelo vs JOE RB Phat Turner. Its crazy. Then, JOE WR Calvin vs FLC WR Colston. The list goes on and on. The winner comes down to FLC RB Lendale vs JOE RB Ronnie…….for some reason we like RB Lendale. This will be a nail biter till the end. FLC will need the MIA DEF to come through and they will….oh, they will. FLC by 1



TOILET BOWL PLAYOFFS


#1 ND40 (7-7) -4 vs #4 ROSS (4-10)
SEASON SERIES: ND40 2-0

Oh, THE BATTLE OF TEXAS is headed to round 3. ND40 had an up and down campaign and get the #1 seed in the TBP. ND40 is 4-4 in the TB PLAYOFFS and get this…..0-4 in the TOILET BOWL. 2 of the losses vs TLIC. So, if they make it to the BOWL, they’ll probably blow it again. ROSS had a rough go at it this year but the fans have stuck by them. ROSS is a bit of a Toilet legend. ROSS is 6-7 (1 bye) in TBP action. ROSS has 2 TOILET BOWL CHAMPIONSHITS.

When ROSS has RB Westy playing well, they are a scarier football team. ND40 must be a aware of this. ROSS QB Jason and WR Santana could be in for a solid week and there is no reason they cant match ND40 QB Rodgers and WR Jennings……although weather could be a factor for ROSS QB Jason. ND40 RB AP should really light it up but a change of QB for Minn could hurt Mr. All Day. ROSS WR Boldin is stud to be reckoned with and he’ll be big this week. The matchup of ROSS RB Leon vs ND40 RB Slaton is a game decider. Were going with Slaton. ND40 by 4………Could be ND40s record 5th TOILET BOWL appearance.





#2 BUTTA (7-7) -9 vs #3 TLICIOUS (4-9-1)
SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

Wow. BUTTA vs TLIC in the TB PLAYOFFS. Usually they meet in the upper division playoff but this will be good anyway. BUTTA has never played in a TOILET BOWL game. Their playoff record speaks for itself though (13-5). TLIC is starting to get use to this here sh!thouse. Last year they won it all. Two years before that they did it again. TLIC is 5-1 in the TB PLAYOFFS with 2 TOILET BOWL CHAMPIONSHITS. That is very successful bathroom etiquette.

Butta is red hot in their last 4 outings. TLIC comes off a big win over KC. Butta has TLICs number the past 2 years and well…..it aint looking good again. BUTTA QB Pimp is going to make WR Harri feel like hes 25 again. TLIC WR Reggie who? BUTTA WR Smith is an animal. BUTTA TE John Carlson was on WKRP in Cincinnati. BUTTA RB Steven and RB Chris Johnson are primed for big games. TLIC QB Ryan will be big and so will WR Brandon. The only way TLIC wins is if TLIC RB LT figures out how to put up his 2006-2007 type numbers. Otherwise, fogetahbowtit. BUTTA will head to different championship game this year. BUTTA BY 9

AP PCS, Regular Season Final

AP1 MONTREAL: They backed into the playoffs but they are the team to beat. Its a dream season so far

AP2 FLC: Amazing come from behind win in Week 14 to lock up #2 seed. The defending champs are red hot and the Naperville is oozing with confidence and a little arrogance.

AP3 JOE LOUIS: A rematch set next week with FLC

AP4 KC BEES: The software is a little miffed at KC for the fall to AP4. KC just cant please this power hungry program. They get a tough matchup with MM

AP5 ND40: Met a surging Butta team. Now the battle of Texas vs a sneaky ROSS and Westy.

AP6 BUTTA: Red hot coming into the TB playoffs, their first ever.

AP7 TLIC: A nice win over KC but they have been having trouble with Butta, their 1st round matchup

AP8 ROSS: Believe it or not, Red Oak is happy after a nice finish and whipping AP1 MM. Now expect a sold out crowd with clip-on beards vs ND40. Things are looking up for 2009.

And hockey guys get hot chicks, FLC PICKS, WEEK14

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Did someone mention “sloppy seconds”? Why-oh-why is Sean Avery so misquoted? Of course he was simply talking about those great Thanksgiving leftovers that get a bit messy after 5 days in the ‘fridge. Me thinks the NHL needs to turn down the sensitivity-o-meter just a tad. At least Avery didn’t McSorley someone.

The usually reliable Buttapicks was a bit sloppy ourselves last week: we hit 2 and we missed 2. But, we were really, really close on last week’s “Gut Pick” (KC vs. Ross line -25; actual -24). Because we tried really, really hard and we came so very close to making you mo’ money, we would please ask that the angry phone calls to our offices stop. You guys know who you are. We just hired a pretty li’l gal this week who joined us after a stint with the Big 12 offices in Dallas. She got so tired of hearing “f#*%*ng idiots!”, “good for nothin’ sh!tbags” and “no talent @ssclowns!” that she had to find a new job and she ended up at Buttapicks. Let’s not make her 1st week on the job a bad one. We like how she takes dictation and she’s got magic fingers. Plus, we promise to be extra good in our picks this week. Let’s roll!

WHO’S HOT: MM W2 (and 3 of 4), FLC W2
WHO’S NOT: TLIC L5 (winless in last 8), ROSS L3 (and 4 of 5)


THE GAME OF THE WEEK
AP3 JOE LOUIS (8-5) -15 vs AP4 FLC (7-6)
LAST MEETING: FLC 146, JOE 101

This is THE game of the week. It’s like that little university that’s located in Columbus, Ohio. No, it’s not Ohio State University: it’s THE Ohio State University. You know: the place that produces athletic teams that can’t clinch THE national championship time and time again. But, enough Buckeye hatred. This one is simple folks: if FLC wins, they’re in the “real” playoffs. If Joe Louis wins, they can make a case for AP #2 and home field advantage in the Pasty Gangtaz playoffs (and, you just can’t minimize home field advantage in fantasy football).

Give the advantage to JL in the rematch. In Week 7, JL’s QB Brees had an off day against a strong Carolina Panthers “D”. In Week 14, Brees faces an Atlanta “D” that gives up a lot of passing yards. In addition, look for JL’s “D” of Pittsburgh to score more points than JL got out of Dallas’ “D” in Week 7. FLC has had to make a major change at the RB position. FLC replaces workhorse Portis with LenDale White who is up against a Cleveland rush defense that is 26th in the league. However, White is also up against his own teammate Chris Johnson in terms of touches so it’s not a clear move in terms of payoff for FLC. While FLC looks to have a good line-up of WR’s going this week, the combination of JL WR Randy Moss against Seattle’s “D” (league worst 265 yards passing against) and JL RB Michael Turner against a generous Saints’ “D” gives JL the edge.

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MS. GONGENIALITY GAME OF THE WEEK
AP5 ND40 (7-6) +7 vs AP6 BUTTA (5-4)
LAST MEETING: ND40 141, BUTTA 119

Don’t be hatin’ Buttapicks. This game is good: it just didn’t look as good in the evening gown competition. But, there are important implications in this match-up, especially if FLC falters at the finish line. ND40 needs a “W” like a post-Clinton White House keyboard needed a “W”. Butta needs a “W” like Iowa Hawkeye freshman forward Andrew Brommer needs free throw shooting lessons. We’re actually not sure what a “W” gives Butta: home field advantage for the 1st round of the Toilet Bowl? A win by Butta (by silly points) + huge underperformances by both FLC and ND40 could put Butta in the “real” playoffs. We calculate the odds at somewhere between “slim” and “none” (similar odds to whether Lois Feldman was drugged at the Metrodome and ‘forced’ to…ummm…engage in various sex acts with a stranger in the men’s restroom, while onlookers cheered them on).

The computers say that both QB’s could have monster days on Sunday but Buttpicks.com disagrees. While ND40 QB Rogers performed well during a Week 7 match-up against Indy, Tom Skilling from WGN sez “don’t forget your booties because it’s cold in Green Bay on December 7”. Give the edge in the QB position to Butta during Week 14 as Pimples Manning goes against the Bungles while QB Rogers has to deal with a high temp predicted to be no more than 20 during the Packers game against Houston. We also like Butta’s WR’s this week: Steve Smith, T.O. and Donald-Duck-Driver could be big while ND’s WR line-up will likely be more “miss” than “hit”. ND40 is going with the savvy move of picking up and playing the “your-former-#1-receiver-is-hurt-and-shot-hisself-in-the-leg-with-a-Glock-.40-so-his-azz-is-grass-and-now-I’m-the-#1” WR. While ND40 definitely has an advantage at RB (Slaton could get lots of touches at a cold weather Lambeau), Butta’s combination of K Bironas and Indy’s “D” against Cincinnati could provide the difference. Yes, I said it: a kicker could make the difference.

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AP2 KC BEES (8-5) pick’em vs AP7 TLIC (3-9-1)
LAST MEETING: KC 141, TLIC 92

KC and the Sunshine Computer Band getting’ no love from fellow Pasty Gangstaz this week: despite an 8-5 record, at least 2 PG’s feel KC will miss the “real” playoffs. Perhaps KC’s total points (currently 5th in the league) is casting some doubt? KC can erase all doubt with a pounding of TLic [insert Lois Feldman joke here…actually you can insert an “insert Lois Feldman…” joke here too] this week. Meanwhile, TLic is riding out [Feldman joke goes here] the season. After boarding the SS Minnow for what the team thought was going to be a 3-hour tour, TLic instead finds themselves stranded on a desert island. And, there’s no Ginger. There’s no Mary Ann. There’s no Lois Feldman. Heck, there’s not even a Mrs. Howell. TLic is gearing up for Toilet Bowl ’08 and the coveted #1 draft pick which led to so much glory this season. Oh…wait…scratch that.

KC put a hurtin’ on TLic in Week 7 but Buttapicks just doesn’t see it happening again. In fact, the Week 14 match-up is so close, we’re going all-chicken sh!t and calling this game a pick’em. Call us yellow. Call us cowards. We don’t care. Just don’t call us next week looking for an extension on your payment to us.

Both QB’s will be silly this weekend: Cassel should rebound from a clunker against a poor Seattle “D”. Meanwhile, Hy-Vee Warner is going to light up St. Louis like a Kennedy pre-Christmas party. Or, a Britney Spears pre-surprise-wedding night in Vegas. You guys go with the analogy that works for you. We also think the WR match-ups are even, with each wideout holding an advantage over every pass defense they face. While TLic holds a sizable advantage in the team Defense category (Baltimore vs. Chicago’s “D”), KC holds a sizable advantage in the TE department (Tony G. vs. Dustin [“don’t call me Diamond”] Keller). It’s just too close to call folks…so, we won’t. Bwawk, bwawk.

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GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP1 MONTREAL (9-3-1) -14 vs AP8 ROSS (3-10)
LAST MEETING: MM 138, ROSS 97

The gut thought it was finished after last Thursday night. After the 4th glass of Shiraz (to help wash down the 2nd slice of Aunt Beth’s pecan pie), the gut was tired. The gut was bloated. The gut was flabby and all tore up. But, the gut is back and it likes the Week 14 match-up of Montreal vs. ROSS.

Conventional wisdom would tell you that Montreal would coast in Week 14. After all, Montreal is the regular season champ and has nothing to play for. But, Buttapicks sees an intriguing match-up nonetheless. It’s going to be tough sledding for Montreal at the RB position as Bears’ RB Forte faces a pissed off Jaguar “D” and Thomas Jones goes against a better-than-average 49ers rush “D”. Meanwhile, ROSS has got decent match-ups against team defenses at the WR and RB positions (nice to see Westbrook back in a ROSS line-up). For Montreal to cover the spread, it’s going to come down to 2 positions: QB and team defense. Philip Rivers could have a great day against the Raiders and Tennessee could have a great day against a Cleveland offense whose field general is now…Ken Dorsey? However, the Raiders are horrible against the run and Rivers may simply give the ball to L.T. And, Cleveland could be really, really good and put up huge numbers against the Titans and…wait…no…that won’t happen. Never mind.

Team ROSS could make this one close if QB Roethlisberger shakes off a so-so performance against the Patriots and really sticks it to Dallas. The Cowboys have a top 10 defense but have shown themselves to be rather inconsistent throughout the 2008 season (witness back-to-back October losses to Arizona and St. Louis). Although Roethy will be the better QB this weekend, the gut still likes Montreal and likes them by 2 touchdowns.

That’s it. Sit back, set the recliner to “chill” and enjoy another great weekend of football. Remember: at Buttapicks, we don’t make the product…we make the product better.

AP PCS WEEK 14

AP#1 MONTREAL: Regular season champs for the first time ever. Canada has never been more proud. Plaxico will have to watch playoffs from jail cell.

AP#2 KC BEES: The software guarantees a win next week

AP#3 JOE LOUIS: Filing complaint against the PCS. Thinks they should be AP2

AP#4 FLC: High point total will come in handy next week. N-ville ready to defend the title.

AP#5 ND40: Must beat Butta for any shot at the "better 4 playoff"

AP#6 BUTTA: Buttas worst season ever but could be .500 with a win over ND40.

AP#7 TLIC: A season to forget. Already talking to QB Brees about next year. JOE claims tampering

AP#8 ROSS: Red Oak wants the TOILET BOWL Title. The beards are out in full force

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 13

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Lots of craziness going on. FLC, ND40 and BUTTA trying to get in the SBP. FLC has the edge and ND40/BUTTA play in week 14. Then you have AP1 JOE LOU, MONTREAL and KC fighting for a regular season title and SBP position. ROSS and TLIC are battling to stay out of the cellar and spoil seasons.


WHO’S HOT: JOE LOUIS W5
WHO’S NOT: TLICIOUS L4

WE HAVE 2 GAMES OF THE WEEK


CO-GAME OF THE WEEK
AP5 ND40 (6-6) -1 vs AP1 JOE (8-4)
LAST MEETING: JOE 137, ND40 102

ND40 needs to turn into Mr. Late November right now. They need a win. JOE LOUIS is on the verge of a second regular season championship but MONTREAL stands in the way. JOE QB Brees and WR Moss are hitting their stride and with RB Fat Little Turner it will be tough on ND. ND40 Rodgers is looking so-so and they’ll get some home cooking this week. He needs a big game along with sidekick WR Jennings. ND40 needs RB AP AD or whatever to prove his worth NOW. ND40 WR Kevin Walter is white. JOE WR Braylon has nothing. We smell an upset as there is no reason ND40 cant keep up with JOE this week. ND40 by onesie.




AP3 MONTREAL (8-3-1) -2 vs AP6 BUTTA (6-6)
LAST MEETING: MM 163, BUTTA 107

Well, here comes Buttason. The usual late season push is here but this will be a tough task this time around. MM had a huge win last week and have the inside track on their first REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP. MM is paced by RBs Forte and T-Jones and they will be good again this week. MM has QB Tony back and its huge. MM QB Tony will be big this week. MM WRs Roddy, Royal and Evans can put a hurtin on you and they will this week. BUTTA has brought in a ton of RBs and this week RB Johnson and Lynch will get their turn and they should be good but keeping up with MMs RBS will be tough. BUTTA QB Peyton and WRs TO and Smith must bring it. MM clinched a SPB playoff spot but they will come hard. This will be a close high scoring tilt with MM just getting enough from that TOUGH TENN DEF.




AP7 TLICIOUS (3-8-1) -1 vs AP4 FLC (6-6)
LAST MEETING: FLC 167, TLIC 106

Another big one as ND40 and BUTTA will be scoreboard watching. FLC is eyeing the SBP and TLIC is gearing up for TBP. First off, this is going to be an outstanding football game. Looking at the lineups we see big points and intermingling players. TLIC QB White Cassels, FLC WR Welker, FLC QB Cutler and TLIC WR Marshall. TLIC WR Crotch. FLC WR Laveranous. TLIC WR Keller……..We are confused and conflicted. The difference this week, TLIC RB LT will finally prove his 1st round 1st overall manhood. TLIC by 1



GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP2 KC BEES (7-5) -25 vs AP7 ROSS (3-9)
LAST MEETING: KC BEES 115, ROSS 92

Merciful Heavens. The gut is ready for turkey, booze and booze. Not sure if the gut is ready for ROSS and software though. The gut sees ROSS RB Leon and RB Hillis and says, “ehhhhh”. The guts sees KC RB Marion and LJ and says, “ahhhhh”. The gut sees, ROSS WR Steve Breaston and says, “breasts!!!!!”. The gut sees KC QB Warner and says, “Hyvee” KC by 25

AP PCS, WEEK 13

AP#1 JOE LOUIS: Our 3rd AP1 in 3 weeks. Feel the Brees? No

AP#2 KC BEES: Loses a shootout with Butta but software is still a happy software

AP#3 MONTREAL: All of a sudden not getting respect from the pollsters but clearly could be still an AP1 and regular season king.

AP#4 FLC: Bounces back just when they needed to

AP#5 ND40: Trying to fight off Butta. They meet in week 14

AP#6 BUTTA: If ND40 is Mr. September than Butta is Mr. Late November. Gets 100th victory

AP#7 TLIC: They thought they had Uncle JOE but they let them off the hook

AP#8 ROSS: If ROSS could just spoil someones playoff berth.......

Butta Picks 12

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With 3 weeks remaining, 2 games separate AP2 through AP6. FLC and ND40 are battling hard for the SB playoffs with BUTTA hanging around. KC BEES are the new AP1 with JOE LOU a close second. MM is still in good position but they need to pick it up. TLIC would love to run the table to go 6-7-1 but it wont be good enough for the SBP. ROSS’ job is to spoil and climb out of the cellar.


WHO’S HOT: JOE LOUIS W4, KC BEES W3
WHO’S NOT: TLICIOUS and FLC L3


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP4 ND40 (6-5) -1 vs AP1 MONTREAL (7-3-1)
LAST MEETING: MM 162, ND40 124

Big Game for both here. MM is playing for a regular season championship and has JOE and KC on their azz. ND40 is trying to sneak into the SB playoffs along with keeping FLC out. ND40 will be scoreboard watching this week when FLC takes the field. We went through this game one by one and the players along with matchups were so even. What we did like for ND40 was RB AP. He can be a real difference maker here. Then, you have MM RB Forte. He can easily match RB AP this week. We are just gonna go with it. ND by 1 in a high scoring, fun affair.



AP1 KC BEES (7-4) -14 vs AP6 BUTTA (5-6)
LAST MEETING: KC 131, BUTTA 109

KC and the software are rolling. Software and KC were even scene at Barnes and Noble drinking latte’s and browsing through the ‘bargain book’ bins. No way these two will buy a calendar until after Jan. 1 when they are 75% off. Smart, these two are. BUTTA struck back after the worst performance in league history. FA QB Jake has received threats from the Butta fans after that debacle and nobody know where he is. Well, it’s a must-win for Butta if they have any chance at SPB love. KC’s QB Warner and Fitzy are rolling along and even though they have a tough matchup there is no reason to think they will be held down. KC RB Barber will very tough this week and will be trouble for Butta. Look for a solid game for KC WR Lance. Lance has been a bit of slut in the league and he pays off nicely. BUTTA must bring it all. QB Pimples, WR TO and Smith…even little old RB Warrick Dunn. BUTTA is desperate and pulling all the stops. It will be a valiant effort by BUTTA but KC will be too much. Should be a very high scoring battle. KC by 14



AP5 FLC (5-6) -6 vs AP8 ROSS (3-8)
LAST MEETING: FLC 170, ROSS 57

This is a monster game for FLC and who better to spoil it than ROSS. ROSS is not playing a GUT Game. First time all year. To big of a game for FLC. ROSS RB Westy is clearly hurt and is far from his usual self. It will interesting to see what happens with him this week. ROSS QB Campbell and Moss are the backbone of this ROSS club and if they don’t play well, its over. This week should be a good one for them.
FLC QB Cutler has his work cut out for him this week but he’ll get his points. FLC WR Andre could have one of those huge games he has from time to time this week. Something like 10 rec- 145 yds and a TD. FLC RB Portis is a huge plus for FLC this week as ROSS is relying on Westy and RB Ward. This is going to be a real dog fight. Low scoring, a real nailbitter. A grinder. FLC pulls this one out but by 6. If ROSS TE Gates can get out of the gate fast ROSS makes this a game.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP2 JOE LOUIS (7-4) -2 vs AP7 TLICIOUS (3-7-1)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 136, JOE 122

Merciful Heavens. Talk about close games…..here is another one. The gut is full and after looking at this game the gut is tired and full. Gut needs a nap but wants to get this one of his chest. TLIC has fallen on hard times since the tie with MM. JOE is the hottest team in the league. JOE QB Brees is going to be trouble for TLIC and on MNF. The gut hates TLIC WR Santonio and JOE WR Braylon…both Butta re-treads. Gut is not big on TLIC QB Cassels either but is on JOE WR Moss. Figure that one out. TLIC WR Marshall is not going to have big game. TLIC can win but it falls on the lap of RB LT and Jamal. JOE RBs Gore and Turner are tough but GUT really likes the TLIC backs this week. Gut has no clue really but these are two teams going in two different directions. So he gives it JOE but only by 2.

Rounding up the troops

AP PCS Rankings, week 12

AP#1 KC BEES: It happened. KC beats MM and has worked their way to the top. Software even brought KC roses and chocolates as a post game reconciliation.

AP#2 JOE LOUIS: Kills ROSS again and winners of 5 straight. Rumor has it they are pissed that KC is #1 and wants an investigation.

AP#3 MONTREAL: MM drops 2 spots after being AP1 since week 4. Pretty harsh but JL and KC are coming on way too strong.

AP#4 ND40 oz: Wow. A big effort over TLIC and now they have the inside track over.....

AP#5 FLC: Butta gets over on them again and all of a sudden Naperville needs to strike back to keep 'brotha from the same mutha' from stealing their SB playoff spot.

AP#6 BUTTA: The evil empire gets a monster victory but now they get AP1 KC next week. Another must-win.

AP#7 TLIC: The ND40 loss was very tough. Two tough losses in a row

AP#8 ROSS: ROSS wondering what RB Westy is doing

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 11

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MONTREAL remains on top after a high scoring tussle with Fun Lovin. JOE LOUIS and BUTTA had one of lowest scoring games in modern day history thanks to BUTTAs record breaking performance. KC BEES and the Software demolished ND40 by 70 points. KC is the move. Finally, ROSS comes back from behind and shocks TLICIOUS. Imagine that, TLIC and BUTTA in the Toilet? There is a changing of guard….for now.



WHO’S HOT: JOE LOUIS W3, KC BEES W2
WHO’S NOT: FLC and TLIC L2, BUTTA L1


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP3 KC BEES (6-4) -13 vs AP1 MONTREAL (7-2-1)
LAST MEETING: MM 132, KC BEES 116

MONTREAL is a freight train right now. As long as he doesn’t text when he is supposed to change tracks he should coast. KC is red hot and the Software has finally let him back in the house. The Software is happy for once until the next KC slip up. This is a huge GOTW. A win by KC and they should be AP1 regardless what JOE LOUIS does. KC QB Warner and WR FITZ should have a great game this week. KC inserts RB LJ back into the lineup. The Software is not a fan of women-hataz but KC wants to win at all cost. KC WR Lance and TE Gonzo should have very productive games. MM QB Rivers needs to come out swinging. MM WRs Roddy and Royal will be tough to stop. MM RB Forte must bring cowbell. He needs a big game because KC looks very tough this week. MM RB T-Jones plays on TNF and it wont be easy for him. KC is red hot as is AP1 MM. We feel that MM is in for a letdown and KC DEF CHI will be big time this week. Its amazing but THE SOFTWARE will be the new AP1 next week. KC by 13




AP6 TLIC (3-6-1) -7 vs AP5 ND40 (5-5)
LAST MEETING: ND40 146, TLIC 132

ND40 got smoked by KC last week and TLIC got blindsided by Gut Pick mainstay ROSS. Two teams that desperately need some love. Here is your Obama vs McCain of the league this week. It doesn’t mean ND40 will win though. TLIC QB Ryan has been playing great football and it will continue this week. ND40 QB Rodgers has been ok and has a tougher matchup this week. He will need to go early and often to ND40 WR Jennings. TLIC RB LT and Jacobs will have to grind out tough yards. Both have tougher matchups this week and they have ND40 RB AP to counter. ND40 RB Slaton is worn down and TLIC must take advantage. TLIC has fallen on hard times and ND40 is on and off. We like TLIC to have a solid week and beat ND40 on the rookie arm of Matt Ryan. TLIC by a late TD.




AP7 BUTTA (4-6) -3 vs AP4 FLC (5-5)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 136, FLC 135

BUTTA is stuck on 98 wins all-time. BUTTA is in turmoil right now and this is a MUST WIN. FLC is playing well but not good enough and finds itself at 5-5 with ‘brotha from the same mutha’ right behind him in the polls. The last time these two teams met it was an amazing game with BUTTA winning by one. FLC WR HINES was called on and failed. This week is a big week for both. A must win for BUTTA and FLC needs to keep Naperville happy. BUTTA RBs have been pathetic and RB Action Jackson is still missing in action. This week RB Johnson and loser RB Lynch must right their wrongs from last week. BUTTA QB Pimples loves being a Stallion and he will be throwin all day. FLC QB Cutler should put together a good week as well. FLC WR Colston and RB DeAngelo have a hard on for Butta for trading them so quickly for terrible RB Lynch. FLC RB DeAngelo will be the one with the big game. Butta WRs Smith and TO rise above this week. FLC TE Winslow is corksucker. This is going to be very close and fun game to watch but in the end BUTTA will win on a last second FG by Robbie Bironas. More revenge for last years Supa Bowl for Butta.




GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP2 JOE LOUIS (6-4) -1 vs AP8 ROSS (3-7)
LAST MEETING: JOE 141, ROSS 107

Merciful Heavens. Historically since JOE has joined the league, he has demolished ROSS. The gut is very aware of this. Believe it or not, the GUT thinks this is our best game of the week. ROSS is going to throw the kitchen sink at JOE LOUIS. ROSS QB Jason and WR Santana will light up a weak DAL secondary. JOE QB Brees thinks this will be an easy game but the gut is warning him right now. JOE WR Braylon has nothing. The gut thinks JOE LOU RBs Turner and Gore will be very difficult for ROSS to deal with…..and that will be the game decider. Folks, this will be a very HIGH SCORING 69 love affair game. Big points. Look for a surprise huge game from ROSS WR Muhsim. THE GUT says JOE but by only 1.

Stanley Cup Champs?

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 11

AP#1 MONTREAL: A huge win over FLC who was knocking on the door. Still needs to keep going to wrap up REGULAR SEASON TITLE

AP#2 JOE LOUIS: Crappy win over a bad Butta team. Luck has a way of running out

AP#3 KC BEES: KC has turned it around and appear to be SB playoff bound. Big showdown hoedown with MM this week

AP#4 FLC: FLC had a great week but got derailed by MONTREAL. Run into an angry Butta team this week

AP#5 ND40: ND40 is hanging around. They need some more W's to knock out the above 4teams.

AP#6 TLICIOUS: Morale is not high after ROSS' come from behind win

AP#7 BUTTA: Its looking like the worst season in Stallions history unless they can run the table. Nothing is going right

AP#8 ROSS: ROSS is slowly walking up the basement steps. A monster win this week and Red Oak is happy again

TLIC PICKS, WEEK 10

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The suspense is mounting as the top 6 teams struggle for 4 good playoff spots. JL with a big 2 point win over MM as Cooley came up a bit short. That is 2 weeks in a row with no win for MM and he looks to right the ship against Naperville’s finest. ND and KC both took care of business with relative ease while Butta, despite some early Sunday whining, put a beating on T-Lic. No one is really on fire or on ice but some trends are sure to emerge from Week 10. I just want to say thank you for this opportunity to bring you Butta Picks. I hate you all.



WHO’S HOT: JOE LOUIS W2
WHO’S NOT: Matt Schaub and Brandon Marshall


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP1 MM (6-2-1) -19 vs AP3 FLC (5-4)
LAST MEETING: MM 121, FLC 119

Huge game. Huge. Like Delta Burke through a magnifying glass. Last meeting was a 2 pointer but this one seems a bit more one-sided. Rivers has been outplaying Cutler who has lost his mojo along with his best receiver. Meanwhile the rookie Royal is picking up the slack from the moper. MM’s Forte has a tough matchup but the receivers look good and TJ should do just fine against the Rams. FLC is going to need huge performances from AJ, DeAngelo and Coles and I just don’t think he can get all 3. Even a staphless Kellen won’t be enough. MM’s trash talking gets backed up by a big W and Fasano celebrates being on a winning team.


AP4 KC BEES (5-4) -29 vs AP5 ND40 (5-4)
LAST MEETING: KC 116, ND40 89

KC has cobbled together a team like an old man making shoes in Pella, Iowa. Suddenly the Warner/Fitzy combo is causing havoc while T-Lic is left with Marshall remorse. Rice and Hightower are also looking like great pickups but are still a bit unproven at this point. Mason has been a nicer surprise than putting a $5 chip on #7. ND is basking in the Obama sunshine and will need a big game for Rodgers against the suspect Vikings secondary. If there is a scoring bonanza between GB and MIN there is hope but I just don’t like some of the matchups. Look for Bowe to do some damage but ND will come up emptier than my candy bag on Halloween. Apparently 35 year old guys dressed as Sarah Palin are a precursor to calling the cops.


AP2 JOE LOUIS (5-4) -12 vs AP6 BUTTA (4-5)
LAST MEETING: JOE LOUIS 156, BUTTA 113

Holy Iowa rivalries Batman! These two love to hate each other and provide the league’s best trash talking. JL treated Butta like a Tom Harkin opponent last time and Butta needs to be careful or it could happen again. Butta has placed his vaunted curse on Braylon who now resides on the Lions. Brady to Braylon? Hmmm…has a nice ring to it. Brees and Turner will be huge for JL but those are the only gimmes here. Matt Jones needs to sidestep a suspension for one more week for Butta to have a shot. The SS Angry and Delhomme need to hook up twice and Chris Johnson needs to pull an AP on the Bears. You can tell Butta is pulling out all the stops by bringing in the Miami D to handle a jet lagged Seneca Wallace instead of riding the Panthers against the “77 yard” Raiders. I think Butta can put up more points than the guru is projecting but Brees is simply too much in the end.


GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP7 TLICIOUS (3-5-1) -3 vs AP8 ROSS (2-7)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 134, ROSS 118

This gut pick of the week is brought to you by Milwaukee’s Best. When you want a beer and can’t afford another brand try the Beast. Warm, flat and stale. Welcome to Milwaukee.
Red Oak is ready for this one. The snakes ride the Westbrook train and he should be solid again this week although the Giants D will make him work for it. Gates will be big but Shockey will try to offset the ‘Tone now that is he back on his rightful team. Boldin and Flacco will be tough as well as the rookie is making a run at some postseason individual hardware. T-Lic has turned to his own rookie QB as Schaub went down like a McCain one-liner. This is all about LT against the Chiefs. It needs to be big and it needs to be all day long…that’s what she said. Jacobs must double Ward’s production and Marshall has to answer the Porter tirade with some heart. The head says that LT is the difference maker but the gut believes ROSS will take this one on Monday night with 3 interceptions of Shaun Hill by the Cardinal D.
Gut pick: ROSS -5

AP PCS WEEK 10

AP#1 MONTREAL: Barely holding on now. A 2 point loss to JOE was big

AP#2 JOE LOUIS: Bunch of bullshit. JOE LOUIS beats MM and now is a contender once again.

AP#3 FLC: The loss to KC isnt a PCS killer. FLC needs to keep winning though. MONTREAL is up next

AP#4 ND40: Here they come with FLC in close range

AP#5 KC BEES: The software is quiet only because they are winning again

AP#6 BUTTA: A desperate win last week. Time for a hate-filled showdown with heavily favored JOE LOUIS

AP#7 TLICIOUS: Needs RB LT to be big down the stretch

AP#8 ROSS: ROSS hasnt won 2 straight since the TV show "Friends" was funny.

Butta Picks, Week 9

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Great games last week. MM and TLIC go down to the wire and end up with the tie. Peyton throws a pick to the TENN DEF and kills TLIC hopes of a great upset. JOE LOUIS puts up 160 and beat KC. ROSS comes up big and beats BUTTA. Red Oak is happy for this week anyway. And in the granddaddy of them all… SCHERF BOWL XXI… FLC dominates and takes a total points lead. The SCHERF CUP stays in Naperville unless they meet for SCHERF BOWL XXIII.



WHO’S HOT: MM (unbeaten in last 7), FLC W4,
WHO’S NOT: BUTTA L4


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP1 MONTREAL (6-1-1) -6 vs AP3 JOE LOUIS (4-4)
LAST SEASON SERIES: MM 136, JOE LOUIS 114

JOE LOUIS thinks hes back in the upper division. A win could possibly move them to AP2. MONTREAL couldn’t lose if they tried at this point. MM QB Edwards is in for a big game but so is JL SOUTHEAST POLK Orton. You gotta give Orton the slight nod here. MM WR Roddy is red hot and WR Evans could have one of those giant games he has one a year. MM WR Plax could end up being a TO like problem but he should do fine this week. MM RB Forte will be very good this week. JL RBs Ronnie and Turner have the potential to do damage this week. MM isn’t scared of JL WR Moss or WR Calvin anymore. MM wins yet again but its close.



AP5 KC BEES (4-4) -3 vs AP2 FLC (5-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 161, KC BEES 144

Naperville has a fever…..for more cowbell. Naperville is excited about the defending champs. The city is alive. Bad Economy? Naperville is just fine. KC Bees are hanging in there since the loss of Brady. The Software is pissed that KC let Brady get knee surgery from some chiropractor in Mexico. Just when the software isn’t mad at KC, KC goes in pisses him off in a heartbeat. We really like what KC brings to the table this week. KC QB Warner finally got away from stalker Tlic and whole Hyvee Alumni thing. KC QB Warner will be going all day to KC WR Fitzy. KC WR DeSean will have a very productive game. KC RB Barber might have it tough but he’ll still put up good points. FLC QB Gerardo might not be Rico Suave but he’s good enough for 30 points this week. FLC RBs Portis and Dominic should be just ok. If FLC WR Andre can be held to 15 points or less, KC steels this one. KC by a FG

AP6 TLIC (3-4-1) -9 vs AP7 BUTTA (3-5)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 128, TLIC 125

These two are usually AP4 by now. BUTTA is falling into must win territory and TLIC has hit ‘no more ties’ territory. The loser has the threat of ROSS catching them and that would be bad. TLIC RB Scut Farkus has been bullying little kids for years, now he thinks be can beat on Butta. TLIC WRs Reggie and Brandon are scary. BUTTA WR TO is not. The TLIC WRs have a big advantage over BUTTA WRs. BUTTA RB Jackson is still a question mark. Its too much to overcome. TLIC by 9




GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP4 ND40 (4-4) -10 vs AP8 ROSS (2-6)
LAST SEASON SERIES: ND40 158, ROSS 114

Merciful Heavens. The BATTLE OF TEXAS is the gut pick. ND40 had FLC right where they wanted them and it got away. They let them off the hook. Denny Green would have been proud. ROSS puts up their best effort of the season and beat BUTTA. If ROSS can take this one, the will be back. ND40 cannot lose ground in the standings. The GUT wonders what ROSS RB Kevin Faulk is doing in a starting lineup. The GUT also likens this game to McCain vs Obama. No reason why really. The GUT says ND40 all the way. The gut doesn’t like the prospects of ROSS winning 2 straight.

AP PCS, WEEK 9

AP1 MONTREAL: This team finds a way to win or at least tie

AP2 FLC: Just waiting for MM to slip up

AP3 JOE LOUIS: This team is up and down. Expect them to lose next week

AP4 ND40: Couldnt clinch SCHERF CUP. I have a feeling they'll meet again

AP5 KC BEES: Playing well but ran into a strong week by JOE

AP6 TLIC: Just one point away from beating the top dog. That was a hard tie to swallow

AP7 BUTTA: This team is geting killed by locker room turmoil. Bad attitudes and bitterness

AP8 ROSS: Making a move. Had their best week of the season

MONTREAL PICKINS, WEEK 8

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“Jimmy the Meek” brings you the Buttapicks of Week 8. Let me just start out by saying how happy I am that I ain’t dead no more. I hate being in small places, no room for my gut. Anyway, Week 7 saw a shake-up of the pack of 3-3 teams with FLC, ND40 and KC Bees surviving their throwdowns. Montreal is trying to run away with the league like a black kid stealing a stereo [censored] [censored] [censored]

What do you mean I have to be “politically correct”? What the [censored] is that garbage? No racial stereotypes? No sexist comments about the pair of DSL are on Tony Romo’s current girlfriend?


WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W6, FLC W3, KC W3
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L1, BUTTA L3, TLIC L2


GAME OF THE WEEK
SCHERF BOWL XXI
AP2 FLC (4-3) vs AP3 ND40 (4-3)
LAST MEETING: ND40 133, FLC 117

The home-home series that is known as the SCHERF BOWL XXI could be determined by this game, if ND40 pulls a miracle out their collective arses. ND40 QB Favre isn’t going to get the benefit of knowing the defensive scheme of the Chiefs, but I don’t like RB Morris chances of playing on Sunday. I expect to see RB Parker (who has big thighs like I said) to see action during the game. FLC RB Portis is going to destroy the University of Detroit football team that gets sent out to face him. Here’s an idea for Pete Rozelle and the NFL… break out relegation like those soccer league in Europe. The Meek likes FLC by 30


AP4 KC BEES (4-3) -8 vs AP6 JOE LOUIS (3-4)
LAST MEETING: JOE 154, KC BEES 91

Software struck back… and former KC QB Brady underwent his 3rd and 4th surgeries on his knee. Hey, if it took cutting into my knee 4 times to get Gisele Bundchen, sign me up. KC RB Barber is going to have to carry the wreck that is the Cowboys for a few more weeks. Will this be the week that QB Warner shows his true HyVee Smile or will he continue to prove the experts wrong? I say yes. JL is trying to recover from back-to-back Scherf meetings. I like JL QB Brees to try and show those British [censored] what a deep passing game is all about and with RB GORE, GORE, GORE running wild on a Seattle defense they will try to keep it close. I like the software to pull this one out by 10.5


AP1 MONTREAL (6-1) -2 vs AP5 TLIC (3-4)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 126, MM 91

La Machine has been unstoppable since week 1. Winning every way they can, win big, win close games, and get lucky due to injuries. Claims of a bounty being placed on KC QB Palmer have not been proven to league’s satisfaction. MM RB’s T. Jones and Jones-Drew look to have big weeks in hopes of extending the streak. TLIC has already stopped the beast that is Montreal once this season and did it quite handily as well. TLIC QB Schaub appears to be the key. A big game for him and we could see AP 1 lose some votes. Will we ever see the true potential of RB Tomlinson? Not sure if this week will be the one either. Jet lag kills. ‘The Meek’ doesn’t go against his country… give me TLIC by 5.


GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP7 BUTTAFUOCO (3-4) +9 vs AP8 ROSS (1-6)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 123, ROSS 97

Butta made a huge trade, ending his affair with ND40 QB Favre. I think it was three weeks too late. Butta struggling with team morale and the head coach has been seeing dipping into ranks of youth hockey coach. Not sure this is the time of year to spread your interest that thin. ROSS has set records for futility, but they have two things going for them, QB Campbell and RB Westbrook. I look for both to have a huge gut busting week. “Jimmy the Meek” and his gut both like ROSS by 25.

AP PCS POLL, Halfway Through Regular Season

AP#1 MONTREAL: Goes halfway through the season with one loss and that was in week 1

AP#2 FLC: You can see them just lurking around and waiting for AP1. Naperville was a fever.....for more cow bell.

AP#3 ND40: Unbelievable. Back in the top 4 and now its time to clinch the SCHERF CUP. The new SCHERF Cup that is.

AP#4 KC BEES: The software just took the gun out of KC's mouth. For one week anyway

AP#5 TLICIOUS: They beat JOE a few weeks ago so JOE gets.....

AP#6: JOE LOUIS: They are up, they are down. Manic Team of the year. QB Brees cant carry them.

AP#7 BUTTAFUOCO: This team has too much drama. TO, Favre and plenty of underachievers. Favre is just about done as a Buttafuoco Stallions. Giving away secrets to JOE LOUIS is the final straw. Plus hes terrible.

AP#8 ROSS: 2 games out of 5th place? Come on. Give then some love. RB Westy wants out

BUTTA PICKS 7

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You have six teams at 3-3 after six weeks. This is a first in PASTYGANGSTA FOOTBALL. Never before have we seen this. MONTREAL is AP1 with a 2 game cushion. Who is the next opponent? AP8 ROSS. ROSS always seems to draw the tough matchups at the wrong time. Then, you have the intense rivalries of TLICIOUS vs KC and BUTTA vs ND40. Both of these games are long standing rivalries that began in 1999. Lots of history. Finally, AP2 DEFENDING CHAMP FLC has made a strong comeback in the rankings and they get QB Brees and AP4 JOE LOUIS. JOE has been very inconsistent but is hanging in there. After this week, the standings will finally fall into place. The six way tie will be over.


WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W5, FLC W2, KC BEES W2
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L2, ND40 L2, BUTTA L2


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP3 TLICIOUS (3-3) -15 vs AP6 KC BEES (3-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: TIE 1-1

So much hate in this matchup. The software even hates TLICIOUS more than its owner (KC)….well maybe. TLIC QB Schaub gets the start and will count on TLIC WR whiteboy Kevin Walter. This guy is whiter than ND40 at a KKK rally. We feel this will be a big week for TLIC WRs Reg and Crotch. TLIC LT will break out this week because I just ate some of his Chunky Soup (seriously). You notice how much salt that sh!t has. I like the ‘healthy choice’ ones but I had to go with normal tasty one this time. KC could have a tough time this week but we love KC RB Barber. Besides KC WR Brandon we are not sold on the WRs. KC goes up and down like Sacramone on the balance beam (old Olympic flashback for ND40). This is TLICs week. TLIC by 15




AP5 ND40 (3-3) -13 vs AP7 BUTTA (3-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

The Butta-Favre saga has begun. So far, not good. BUTTA QB Favre was just average and it won’t work for Butta especially with the tension between these two. Now, QB Favre calls MM QB Romo on the tele and tells him to play? Don’t sit out? Guess QB Favre wants MM to run away with regular season. Listen, this marriage can end badly….soon, if Favre doesn’t light it up this week. ND40 QB Rodgers and WR Jennings will be trying to hook up all day. ND40 RB AD ALL DAY is due for a big game. BUTTA WRs TO, Smitty and Edwards have to live up to the hype. BUTTA RBs have been dismal and BUTTA refuses to name a starting RB until game time. Once again, ND40 TE Witten makes the difference in the game. ND40 gets all “mavericky” and wins this one by 13


AP2 FLC (3-3) -2 vs AP4 JOE LOUIS (3-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: JOE LOU 2-0

Heres a nice little matchup. FLC has roared back to AP2 and AP4 JOE LOUIS gets a big win last week. What makes this matchup great is the QBs. FLC QB Cutler vs QB JL Brees. We like Cutler in a TKO. JOE LOUIS WR Calvin is Kitnaless but maybe its for the better? FLC WR Andre will be big money this week. JOE LOUIS RBs Gore and Brown are good but this week will be rough while FLCs RB DeAngelo and Clint will primed for big games. We just like the FLC matchups better in this one. We can tell you this: HIGH SCORING and damn close. FLC continues its climb and wins by 2. Expect 150pts coming from each team.



GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
“UPSET SPECIAL”- GUT
AP1 MONTREAL (5-1) -3 vs AP8 ROSS (1-5)
LAST SEASON SERIES: MONTREAL 2-1

Merciful Heavens. ROSS in another gut pick game. They seem to always draw the new AP1. There are some folks in Red Oak that realize ROSS is only 2 games back. Then, there are some folks that piss all over the front gates of ROSS Stadium at 3am on a Tuesday night after another night of after work drunkenness. One guy even threw his motorcycle helmet at the Drew Chandler statue in front. He said he was just stealing a scene from Rocky III. Those crazy Red Oakians. MONTREAL can get through the half the season with only one loss if they beat ROSS. This is something no pastygangsta could of predicted. The gut is gassy tonight. Perhaps the Chunky Soup was listed as questionable. The gut is calling his shot. ROSS is his UPSET SPECIAL. We are setting the line at MM -3. The gut says take the points and ROSS might win outright. The gut says this is a trap game for MONTREAL and we like his thinking. Gut loves QB Big Ben this week and….yep….ROSS RB Pittman….you heard it right. MM QB Romo could play this week but the gut doesn’t care. We like what the gut has to say. Gamble with caution with this one. We take MM. Gut takes ROSS

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 6

AP#1 MONTREAL: MM is rolling. They now have a 2 game lead over 6 teams. Yep, six teams are 3-3. MM QB Romo has time to go to Mexico with Simps.

AP#2 FLC: The defending champs have made the jump to AP2.

AP#3 TLICIOUS: Lose to FLC but still an AP3. Cant complain about that

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: Hanging around still. Its like watching Flo in an "Alice" re-run or Re-run in a "Whats Happening" re-run. It never goes away.

AP#5 ND40: Wake me up when September ends

AP#6 KC BEES: A ROSS loss would of sent the software over the edge

AP#7 BUTTA: Nobody playing well

AP#8 ROSS: only 2 games back of the pack?!?! It aint over

ROSS PICKS, WEEK 6

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Ext 69 takes you straight to the ROSS suicide prevention line, where I tell you to go ahead and end it now.

Boys, at this point in the season, in real life football as in fantasy, you are what you are. Are you going to make it to the top 4 and stop a mudhole in the chest of all your opponents, or are you going to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City f@ggots (no offense, Bees) for the rest of the season? Can you make a trade or a miracle pickup that can improve your team? Yes. But your chances of changing the tiger’s stripes now are about as likely as Jeremiah Wright attending a Devo reunion concert. ROSS, Joe Louis, KC – what the fck were you doing on draft night – next time, replace the cheeba in your bongs with regular tobacco, and don’t tell me it was for your glaucoma.

The parity of the league is more acute this season, and especially this week. A loss here and a win there, and we could have a new number 1. Butta could easily find himself in the toilet bowl side of the rankings. FLC puts 2 consecutive wins together, he could be untouchable at the top based on points. ROSS and KC – well, they will be battling each other for last place for the rest of the season.

WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W4
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L1


GAME OF THE WEEK
NUMEROUS – MULTIPLE RANKING SHAKEUPS AT STAKE

I AM GOING WITH TLIC vs FLC (LAST SEASON SPLIT 1-1)

This one, like nearly all the matchups, is just too close to call. TLIC qb Kurt Warner appears to be back to form (amazing what you can do when 2 of the top WRs in the NFL are on your team, eh Kurt?) but FLC QB Cutler should have a great day vs the lousy passing defense of Jax. The WRs here are a push, but I think the difference could be Bernard Berrian – anyone playing Detroit will look like Sauron in the opening scene of Fellowship of the Ring. FLC picked up the great but hard-to-predict-usage-of Correll Buckhalter off the waiver wire, although it seems likely that he will get the nod this Sunday, and although he is no Westy, he is solid. Surprise edge this week will go to the Washington DEF – they will make the Rams look like asshats, and I am seeing at least 2 defensive TDs.

TLIC by 9.


AP1 MM (4-1) -5 vs AP4 BUTTA (3-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

According to the projections, this is very close. I agree – this was is tough to call. Will Butta be too distracted being a hockey mom to pay attention to his fantasy squad? I mean, he did blow off his writing duties this week; clearly his mind is somewhere else. I like MM QB Romo vs the Cardinals, but if Romo has a good day, that should mean Butta WR TO has a good day as well. Butta WR Steve Smith is an animal – I can never root against this guy since I picked him up off waivers like 3 years ago, and he kicked ass. MM WR TJ Housh will be distracted talking to the 49ers on the sidelines; other WR Plaxico will be on the phone all Sunday talking to Alamo Rent-a-Car. The difference-maker in this one will be MM RB Matt Forte – this guy is on fire, and will go off against the dirty birds.

MM wins by 5.

AP3 ND40 (3-2) -10 vs AP7 JOE LOUIS (2-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: JOE LOU 2-0

ND40 was reportedly injured slashing McCain signs with a boxcutter in Highland Park – will his painkillers cause him to lose focus? This one should come down to running back performance, and in this matchup, we have the some of the elite backs in the league. JLL Gore and Brown are kicking all kinds of ass of late – did anyone foresee the bizarre resurgence of Ronnie “Direct Snap” Brown? ND’s Adrian Peterson is a god among men, and can be worth 2-3 players worth of stats if things go his way. As of this writing, ND40 has Earnest Graham riding the pine, which is understandable given the annoying old geezer Warrick Dunn hanging around stealing his carries. I think Brees and Rodgers are a push. ND WR Greg Jennings should account for ND40’s lack of a quality second running back. The x factor here is Jason Witten, who should have a monster day vs the Tards.

ND40 by 10.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP6 KC BEES (2-3) vs AP8 ROSS (1-4)
LAST SEASON SERIES: KC 2-0

KC Bees are hating the software and technology in general – word is that he has retreated to the mountains to a decrepit cabin, Unabomber style, and is setting his lineup via handcrank laptop. The analysts are highly discounting ROSS lynchpins Jason Campbell and Santana Moss based on crap performance last week, but you can’t play the Rams without looking like allstars, no matter who you are. ROSS RB’s are a veritable who’s who of the NFL, i.e., “Who? Who the fck is that?” KC Bees WR corps of Fitz and Marshall should be solid. I think this one is closer than it looks on paper, but ROSS is snakebit – it is doubtful they will win another game this season.

AP PCS POLL, Week 5

AP#1 MONTREAL MACHINE: MM is defying all the odds right now. Can they keep it up? MM QB Romo is tired of MM coming down on the field all the time. Says he should stay in owners box with Jess.

AP#2 TLICIOUS: TLIC makes a huge jump to #2 with a very big win over JL. TLIC is not getting anything from #1 overall pick RB LT and its causing some issues in the front office. TLIC gets FLC next week and that is going to be a great one.

AP#3 ND40: ND40 drops two spots after losing the GOTW SHOWDOWN HOEDOWN with MONTREAL. Its October and you have to wonder where Mr September goes from here. RB ALL DAY PETERSON looks more like SLEEP ALL NIGHT PETERSON on MNF.

AP#4 BUTTAFUOCO: They are lucky to be this high in the rankings. If it wasnt for the one point victory over surging FLC, they could be AP6 or 7. BUTTA QB McNabb is not getting done. Now, BUTTA brings in QB Favre and they have a long history of dislike. Its getting ugly. Can they get along?

AP#5 FLC: The defending champion is pulling an MM of last year. This big victory over ROSS means they could be AP2 next week. They need the TLIC game badly. They deserve a high ranking but they must keep winning. Naperville has high hopes for this team

AP#6 KC BEES: You gotta move them up a slot with the big win over BUTTA. The SOFTWARE and KC are just not getting along and you have to wonder if it will kill them in the end

AP#7 JOE LOUIS: They have high point totals but are 2-3 with QB Brees taking snaps. This means the rest of the guys are not holding up their end of the bargain. Two losses in a row (ROSS, TLIC) and gets ND40 next week.

AP#8 ROSS: ROSS cleaned house after the FLC massacre this week. After the record setting 57 points this week the Red Oak fans are boycotting next weeks home game verses KC. ROSS must win next week with the new players picked up off the wire. RB Westy hurt again.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 5

Buttapicks.com
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WEEK 4 featured some amazingly close games. ROSS gets TEAM OF THE WEEK honors by easily disposing of AP1 JOE LOUIS. Our first big upset of the year. The ROSS 10 game losing streak is over. New AP1 ND40 beats TLICIOUS and is a team to be reckon with. KC took the field without a QB and loses to the surging AP3 MONTREAL. MONTREAL has won their last 3. In a rematch of last years SUPA BOWL, Buttafuoco beats FLC by one point. FLC has lost 2 in a row and could easily be 3-1. This week will start the separation of the league. AP1 ND40 meets MM, both 3-1. ROSS tangles with FLC, both 1-3. Then, TLIC and JOE LOUIS goes head to head at 2-2. This is CRAZY. Then in the GUT PICK, BUTTA goes against “THE SOFTWARE” and KC BEES.


WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W3
WHO’S NOT: FLC L2


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP1 ND40 (3-1) -7 vs AP3 MONTREAL (3-1)
LAST SEASON SERIES: MM 2-1

WOW. We can tell you right off the bat, this will be quite a football game. This week both lineups feature some huge potential. MONTREAL has surprised all of us with a 3-1 start. It seems like they got screwed at every moment last year. They are out to get back in the upper division. What can you say about ND40? The pastiest team in America is AP1 and living it up. ND40 QB Pimples is back off the bye week and he should be better than ever this week. At least better than what weve seen this season so far. MM QB Romo should be equally as good. When we look at the game we see “fvcking gangbusters”. Big points everywhere. Once again, this is a fairly even game but once again, ND40 has the wildcard in TE Witten. He is difference maker and clarifies the importance of a great TE. ND40 and TE Witten win by 7.


SECOND BEST GAME
AP5 JOE LOUIS (2-2) -9 vs AP4 TLIC (2-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: JOE 2-1

Damn. This is the sequel to the Pastygangsta Golf Championship held in St. Lou. The TLIC meltdown. The quiet cockiness of JOE LOUIS. We’ll more importantly, here is the first meeting of the season of two teams that need a boost. Both at 2-2, a win gives a boost of momentum and leaves the loser feeling like Gary Coleman competing at the World Sumo Wrestling Championships. This is a very difficult game to breakdown. TLIC WR Lance and Antonio? Sounds like two gay guys opening up a pizza joint. Not a hardcore football contest. Then, you have JL WR Randall Moss. Where this guy goes from here is anyones guess. TLIC RB LT seems like hes getting together but we need another big game. He should get his this week. HYVEE QB Warner is like Good Favre/ Bad Favre. Hes got a tough game this week but at home. When it comes down to it, TLIC can win this game. It wouldnt be a surprise if they did but we will take JOE LOUIS behind the likes of QB Brees and RB Frank. JOE LOUIS by 9.



AP6 FLC (1-3) -6 vs AP7 ROSS (1-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: TIE 1-1

The ROSS soap opera is now at a fever pitch. ROSS snaps the streak by beating JOE and Red Oak is a new city. Some have dusted off the clip on beards but not all. ROSS can feel the momentum. FLC is unlucky in love. The defending champ is 1-3 with two heartbreakers. The big question here is will ROSS RB Westy play? If so, this can change the complexity of the game. For now we’ll say no. FLC QB Jay needs a rebound week and this is a big test for ROSS QB Campbell. ROSS RB LJ has come back from the dead. This will be a real battle in the trenches. A low scoring showdown that leaves FLC on top with WR Andre having a BIG game.



GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP2 BUTTA (3-1) -5 vs AP8 KC BEES (1-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: KC 2-0


Merciful Heavens. The GUT just watched Sarah Palin get all sensual and sexual on the TV. The GUT is a little excited. Even in all his excitement, the GUT is befuddled by Sarah’s accent. The GUT says its annoying yet comforting. Now, the GUT sees this game and the excitement has turned to sourness (limp). KC’s fumbles from center all game last week is even enough to make Joe Biden smile. BUTTA WR Braylon playing the freaking air guitar after scoring his first TD last week. Nauseating. KC has some big time greatness in RB Barber, WR Marshall, WR Fitzy and even rookie WR DeSean. The GUT feels there is just too much tension between THE SOFTWARE and KC BEE. BUTTA by 5. GUT thinks it will be very close. BUTTA WR Kevin Walter is as white as you can get hence the name Kevin Walter. (This guy was a ROSS hero two years ago.) Yep

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 4

AP1 ND40: Good things happen when you have RB Ernie on your team. Mr September lives up to the name. BIG Showdown vs MM next week

AP2 BUTTAFUOCO: Have won 2 close games. Not an impressive AP2 but winning games anyway. WR Donald Duck Dunn Driver is invisible.

AP3 MONTREAL: Winning Ugly. This is a sneaky team. MM trying to keep Jess Simpson far away from Clubhouse. Wants ND40 badly

AP4 TLICIOUS: RB LT is coming back. Tough loss this week. HYVEE QB Warner is wacky.

AP5 JOE LOUIS: Loses to AP8 ROSS. It was a bad bye week for them but we can rank them behind TLIC until next weeks clash

AP6 FLC: The defending champ not getting any breaks. Last 2 losses by a combined 3 points. Naperville is not giving up hope. WR Hines will not show his face in NAPERVILLE this week.

AP7 ROSS: When you beat AP1 team by 20 plus you rise to AP7. All of a sudden, the city of Red Oak believes. A win next week and the paper bags turn to clip on beards

AP8 KC BEES: The software hates QB Carson and the owner. Software wants to partner with ND40 next year. Software hates everything right now

Oh Butta....

Folks, Heather Locklear

Nice mug shot of ROSS Cheerleader. Things are looking up in Red Oak

John Elway Engaged to Former Oakland Raider Cheerleader!

Awwww...aren't the kids cute? The wife-to-be is former Raiiiiiddder (channeling my best Chris Berman) cheerleader Paige Green.

Johnny should know better than to take his troops into enemy territory but I gotta admit...it's nice territory.

Best of luck to the future Elway-Greens.

Green-Elways?

Whatever.

Enjoy helping him floss those horse teeth every night, Paige.

This has been your PFL Hollywood Minute update.

BUTTAFUOCO PICKS, WEEK 4

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

We’ll what a week 2! We have 5 teams at 2-1. ROSS is only 2 games back. Speaking of ROSS, they break an old record. TLICIOUS downs ROSS. Perhaps if RB Westy doesn’t get hurt, we would have had a different scenario. JOE LOUIS is AP1 once again. After spending most of last year in that slot, they are right back at the top again. JOE LOUIS beats an underachieving, disappointing BUTTAFUOCO. KC BEES get a big win over the former AP1 ND40. We think KC is on the move. Perhaps the game of the week was MM beating defending champion FLC by just a few. It came down to the last minutes of MNF. MONTREAL is another team with some potential. This week will provide some separation in the standings with a HUGE Tlicious vs ND40 tussle. Winner gets some or all of first place.


WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W2
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L10


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP4 ND40 (2-1) -9 vs AP3 TLIC
LAST SEASON SERIES: TLIC 2-1

A rematch of last years TOILET BOWL. Always an epic battle. This is our GOTW. Both teams want to avoid the mediocre 2-2 mark. The league is tight and every W matters. The two clubs have met in a SUPA BOWL and a TOILET BOWL. Folks, TLIC RB LT is back! And he usually eats up the Raiders. TLIC RB REG has been quality so far but it wont last. This week these two will be tough. ND40 RB AP and Earnest will have a tough task keeping up. What is going on with the FA WRs in this tilt? That’s just wrong. Its as wrong as Kurtie with a George Hamilton tan. ND40 Stuckey? TLIC Meachem and Bryant? Desperation with byes in week 4 already? Actually, buttapicks.com had WR Meachem in their “super-sleeper” category in August. The kid has got skills. ND40 Stuckey will need some mojo. You gotta give the WR edge to ND40. ND40 WR Dwayne Bowe is freak but has to overcome the problems around him. We do like him this week. ND40 WR Jennings will be big. ND40 will really take advantage with TE Witten in this one. ND40 BY 9


SECOND BEST GAME
AP2 BUTTA (2-1) -7 vs AP7 FLC (1-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 3-0

And here is the REMATCH OF SUPA BOWL VIV. FLC remarkably swept this series last year. First time ever. FLC wins a very close SUPA BOWL and Naperville is finally put on the football map. Both teams are trying to figure out who they are. Only Denny Green knows. BUTTA QB Edwards looks like he’ll get the start although that can change any moment. BUTTA RBs Marshawn is in for a big game but we cant say the same for RB Action Jackson. FLC RBs Portis and Perry need to come up big. The BUTTA WR trio (TO, Smitty and Donald Duck Driver) is scary, so FLC Wide outs (AJ, Coles and Hines) must produce. Anything can happen with FLC QB Cutler taking the snaps, so you cant be too confident if you take BUTTA but we say BUTTA gets SUPA BOWL REVENGE and wins by a TD.



BYE WEEK BOWL
AP5 MONTREAL (2-1) -2 vs AP6 KC BEES (1-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: TIE 1-1

Both teams are filled with bye weeks. This will makes things very interesting this week. A MM win and they are sitting very pretty with a share of 1st place. A KC BEE loss and they have to start digging. KC is 1-2 but we are pimping this squad. KC WRs Marshall and Fitzy will be very good this week. KC RB Marion is a buttapicks.com favorite and he always comes correct. We think KC QB Carson will make up some big numbers this week. We are very concerned about KC RB Edge, so MM must capitalize with their RB Combo of Forte and Tommy Jones. MM QB Romo should have a big game again but we cant go against KC this week. KC BY 10.


GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP1 JOE LOUIS LIONS (2-1) -12 vs AP8 ROSS (0-3)
SEASON SERIES: JOE 2-0

Merciful Heavens. This game couldn’t have come at a worse time for ROSS. We don’t need an 11 game losing streak in the city of Red Oak. Fans are revolting. ROSS Football is the only thing these people live for. The gut is feeling quezzy. Now, the gut knows JOE LOUIS has major bye issues this week but the gut doesn’t think ROSS RBs LenDale and Buckhalter can do anything. Even new ROSS QB Big Ben makes the gut not very excited. JOE LOU RBs Fat Turner and Gore could have really big days. The gut has nothing good to say about ROSS except this will be a pretty close game for ROSS but they wont win. The gut cant take ROSS until hes sees a "W". ROSS loses 11 straight. JOE by 12

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 3

AP#1 JOE LOUIS: Back at #1 and gets ROSS next week. The rest of the league could be chasin again

AP#2 BUTTAFUOCO: Bad loss but they beat TLIC who is AP3. QB's are banged up. Thats a concern

AP#3 TLICIOUS: beats AP8 ROSS. Will need to step it up for showdown with ND40. Shockey gets hurt and dropped. Harsh.

AP#4 ND40: Falls down to AP4 after very disappointing week.

AP#5 MONTREAL: A huge win and MM is winning ugly

AP#6 KC BEES: Look out for this team. They are going to get better

AP#7 FLC: Naperville is on a roller coaster ride. A win verses BUTTA and they should be AP3 or better

AP#8 ROSS: The record 10 game losing streak and ROSS is talking about moving the team. Red Oak is not happy. The paper bags are out.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 3

Hello. Im Brent Musburger. I am here to give you buttapicks.com……here on CBS. First off, Ive heard most of you are Iowa HACKeye fans. Well, its been a fun year for you thus far. The HACKeyes are fun to do play-by-play for. I cheer for the Buckeyes ever so slightly when they play the HACKeyes. I like Hayden Fry. Anyway, I love Pastygangsta football and that is why I am here. And how about that week 2. An amazing display of football. How about ND40? A surprise AP1. ND40 brings it with authority. They crushed ROSS. They are something like 34-7 in September. The BUTTAFUOCO STALLIONS beat TLICIOUS in last weeks finest battle. Butta QB McNabb is one heck of a quarterback. Butta wins by 3 points (buttapicks spread was 3) and is AP#2 right where they finished last year. The defending PCS National Champion Fun Lovin Criminals proved to everyone they are no one year wonder. FLC beats KC but the KC BEES fought to the very end. They come WAY back but not enough as FLC brings home a win. MONTREAL shocks JOE LOUIS. This win was huge for MONTREAL. They need momentum. JOE LOUIS has only lost four games in their Pastygangsta lives. Folks, lets break these games down.

WHO’S HOT: ND40 W2, BUTTA W2
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L9, KC BEES L2


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP2 BUTTA (2-0) -3 vs AP4 JOE LOU (1-1)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-1

Folks, this is the old guard meets the new. Last year, JOE LOUIS comes in and thinks they are cool. They win the regular season championship BY going 12-2. Then they meet the Evil Empire, the Master of Disaster, The King of Sting, Americas Team…the BUTTAFUOCO STALLIONS. Butta wins and destroys the dreams and hopes of JOE in their very first season. Unbelievable. Folks, this week BUTTA got one of his all-time favorite players in WR Steve Smith. The media has said they gave too much but Butta wants guys on their team that want to play da foosball. JOE LOUIS has incredible RB matchups this week. RB Orange Julius and Gore have cupcakes in front of them. They both should have fine numbers. These 2 backs could really put a hurtin on Buttafuoco. BUTTA RB Marshawn is a Butta man. Butta will either go with RB Action Jackson or one of the rookies. We expect above average production out of them. BUTTA WRs TO, Smitty and Driver are arguably the best trio in the league. JOE LOU WR Moss is very questionable from here on out but JOE WR Calvin is turning into a freak. This game will be high-scoring and close. The game will come down to JOE LOU WR Chambers on MNF but he will come up two points short. BUTTA BY 3


AP3 FLC (1-1) -4 vs AP6 MONTREAL (1-1)
LAST SEASON SERIES: TIE 1-1

Folks, a big game for both. The defending champions verses a team searching for an identity. MM has only two winning seasons. MONTREAL needs to start 2-1. FLC has a new identity. That of a winner. If only Sara Lee and Debbie knew that he’d be set. Going 1-2 after a Supa Bowl year wont cut it for the high maintenance folk of Naperville. Now, weve had this conversation before but whose moms are hotter? Carrolton, TX, Naperville, IL or West Des Moines, IA? We’d have to go with the HACKeye State. All of a sudden I really like this MONTREAL team. MM QB Romo will be throwin silly but FLC has found his franchise QB in QB Jay. How about MM WR Plax? He’ll be tough to stop this week. FLC WR Devery has to do something. He needs a 20 point game. I love FLC QB Cutler in this game and I feel the hot QB can carry a team. Right now, FLC QB Jay is that guy. If it wasn’t for him we’d go with MONTREAL all the way. FLC wins a close game on the arm of Jay Cutler.



AP1 ND40 (2-0) -2 vs AP7 KC BEES (0-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: KC BEES 2-0

What can you say about NORTH DALLAS FORTY? Looking powerful. A #1 ranking in the PCS. KC BEES are slowly getting it back together after the QB Brady injury. The Software has been thrown off course. This game could make ND40 a force. KC cant go 0-3 or the software will start taking hostages. It’s a tremendous matchup. The big story of this game KC QB Eli vs ND40 QB Peyton. Archie will be in the ND40 suite which kind of makes us suspicious. I mean, what about the KC box or even Dayna’s Big 12 suite. ND40 and DAYNA in separate suites? Where is TMZ when you need them? KC WR Ocho Fucko just doesn’t seem like a KC kinda guy. Yet, KC is going with him again. Look out for KC WR Fitz, Marshall and RB Marion Jr. They will be very difficult on ol’ ND40. ND40 has great depth as well with RB Adrian, RB Earnest, WR Jennings and great TE Witten. Folks, this will be a high scoring slugfest and very close. We are going to go with hot ND40 but this one can go either way.


GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP5 TLICIOUS (1-1) -3 vs AP8 ROSS (0-2)
SEASON SERIES: TLIC 2-0

Merciful Heavens. ROSS is in danger of breaking a 10 year old record. Can ROSS RB LJ do anything to stop it? ROSS has called out RB LJ in the media and that is never good. RB LJ has done the same. TLIC is trying to get over a difficult defeat to the Stallions. The gut wants no part of a record breaking game. He feels bad for ROSS, who had their dream season not long ago. In fact, this matchup was the SUPA BOWL that year. The gut thinks this one will be a great game and he never thinks that. ROSS trying not to break the record is enough drama to make this a GOTW. This one will be exciting and will be decided on MNF. TLIC WR Crotch and K Nate verses ROSS TE Gates and WR Vinnie. Folks it comes down to that and guess what the gut thinks? ROSS by1. WOW. The gut likes to take risks….like ND40 at a Harrahs buffet.

ANSWER THE FVCKING POLL QUESTIONS. IT ONLY TAKES 5 SECONDS. LAZY ASSES

We’ll Im Brent Mushburger and this has been fun. We’ll see you next time. Enjoy IOWA vs PITT on ESPN 2 at 11am this SATURDAY.

Yahoo Headline: "Why Tony Kornheiser apologized last night"

Uhhhh....because he sucks?

No, apparently there's more to it than that.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Why-Tony-Kornheiser-apologized-last-night?urn=nfl,108035

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 2

AP#1 ND40: ND40 loves September. Its been a long time since they grabbed AP#1. Now the get WR Steve Smith back

AP#2 BUTTA: Benches QB Ben and puts QB Donny in. Butta wins. QB Donny and WR TO on the same team?

AP#3 FLC: Naperville is back. The Supa Bowl hang over is no longer a worry

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: Where did RB Turner go? JOE has never been this low in the rankings.

AP#5 TLICIOUS: Tough loss but now gets troubled Red Oak

AP#6 MONTREAL: WR Royal comes through

AP#7 KC BEES: Software says QB Brady is faking injury

AP#8 ROSS: Red Oak is officially in a football recession. Could break record with 10th loss in a row. Emergency town meeting tonight where ROSS must explain.

FLC's Weekend

When your place kicker has more points that your opponent's starting QB, it's going to be a good one.

Matt, to loosely paraphrase from the movie War Games: "Mr. KC Bees, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your draft software sucks."

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 2

BUTTA PICKS goes 1-3 in week 1. Just keep playin’. We have never had a losing season. Week one was a doozie. ND40 comes back to win SCHERF BOWL XX. ND40 couldn’t lose that one and they come through. The other big story is KC QB Brady. A shocking blow to KC. Now, KC QB Cassel enters the picture. Can KC overcome? ROSS hits 8 on the losing streak and now is one away from tying himself, FLC and ND40 for the record 9 losses in a row.. BUTTA gets win #95 on the all-time list. JOE LOUIS is AP1 yet again. TLICIOUS holds of MM to win their last 3 contests. Everyone in Naperville is worried about the Supa Bowl hangover. Lets kick week 2 in the Worlds Greatest Fake Football League.


WHO’S HOT: TLIC W3
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L8


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP4 BUTTA (1-0) -3 vs AP3 TLIC (1-0)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

Last season wasn’t even close. Both games were big victories for BUTTA. This season both teams start out with very good performances. The two teams are the most successful teams in league history. A great GOTW. The reunion of TLIC and QB Warner bring back the old days of juggling apples and other produce in the back room of a darkly lit Altoona HyVee. Warner sending TLIC deep as he throws a perfect spiral with the Sara Lee pound cake, only as the Sara Lee pound cake deflecting off the hands and chest of TLIC pegs the unassuming female assistant manager in the tats. Folks those days are long gone. We’ll see how long this reunion lasts. TLIC WR Wayne faces BUTTA for the first time in a long time. TLIC WR REG is an all-time fav of Butta (owned him 3 years in a row…..and I do mean OWNED) and quite frankly this matchup is very awkward for both. TLIC strength this week is the RB tandem of RB LT and Big Brandon. BUTTA QB Big Ben and WR San Antonio need to get going and they will this week. The boo birds came out last week for BUTTA RB Action Jackson and there is much to prove this week. BUTTA RB Marshawn is a BUTTA favorite and is naming his next kid after him. Folks, this will be a close game. BUTTA has its hands full with the TLIC RB tandem but all BUTTA WR’s are going to out-do trader TLIC WR Reggie and Butta wins by a “My Bironis” FG. BUTTA will need WR TO to come back and win the game on MNF. BUTTA BY 3


BATTLE OF NORTH TEXAS
AP2 ND40 (1-0) -13 vs AP6 RED OAK SEA SNAKES (0-1)
LAST SEASON SERIES: ND40 2-0

We here at buttapicks.com love this game. The freaking BATTLE OF NORTH TEXAS. Folks, is ND40 BACK? Mr. September is back??!! We think so. As for ROSS, they cannot afford to go 0-2. THIS IS A BIG GAME IN A BIG STATE. The ND40 RBs are rock solid in RB Fast Will and RB AP. All of a sudden, the ND40 WRs look mighty fine. And then, you have a breakout QB in ND40 QB Rodgers. Folks, look out. Also, great matchups for ND40. ROSS puts all the weight on QB Derek’s shoulders. He and ROSS WR Braylon better let loose. ROSS TE Gates better suck it up. A major story of this game is if ROSS RB LJ can put together a good game this week. All the ROSS pieces must fit the puzzle this week. Folks, ND40 rolls and we think they are back to the PASTYGANGTA elite. This team has a very successful track record in September. This is an up year, A COY kind of year. We see it. They will be a solid AP2 or even 1 after this week. ND40 by 13


SO-SO GAME OF THE WEEK
KC BEES (0-1) -2 vs FLC (0-1)
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-1

Lets take you back to last December, a cold December afternoon. SUPA BOWL SEMI-FINAL PLAYOFF GAME…FLC upsets KC and goes on to win SUPA BOWL VIV. After week one, both teams are 0-1 and sweating just a little. In week 2, the defending champion FLCs face a shell-shocked KC Bees squad who just lost QB Brady. Enter KC QB Carson. A tough spot for KC to be in. The good news for them is KC WR Marshall is back. Along with KC WR Fitz this is a nice WR duo this week. As for KC WR Chad Zero, that’s as unpredictable as ND40 putting a one dollar chip on Kelsy’s buttocks. KC RB features the mighty RB Barber and he will be fine. FLC QB Gerrardo needs to put this team on his shoulders….the other two that need to get it going are FLC RBs Clinton and Selly. The FLC WR trio are strong but they need go out and show it. FLC WR Andre and Colston are money players. FLC WR Hines was great last week. This FLC bunch needs to show up. KC comes back with force in this one but its gonna be very close. KC RB Barber closes the show on MNF. KC by 2


GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP8 MONTREAL (0-1) -3 vs AP1 JOE LOUIS (1-0) (GUT)
AP1 JOE LOU (1-0) -8 vs AP8 MONTREAL (0-1) (BUTTAPICKS.COM)
SEASON SERIES: JOE LOU 2-0

Merciful heavens. JOE LOUIS is back or so he thinks. MONTREAL is not happy with AP8. The gut loves games like this. It looks like another JOE LOU victory but it doesn’t sit well with the gut. The gut says this has upset written all over it. MM is no slouch with QB Romo, WR Plax, WR Houch and WR Driver. MM RBs T-Jones and super rook RB Forte. The gut likes it. The real reason the gut doesn’t like JOE. JOE RB Turner. Turner’s gut is bigger than “The Gut”. Gut says JOE RB Turner’s gut is a fraud. He has challenged him to a “gutfest”. No sure what that is but it sounds scary. We pick JOE LOUIS by 8. The gut says MM by 3. Sorry, don’t know what to tell you.