BP PICKS 5

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WHO’S HOT: TLIC, FLC (W2)
WHO’S NOT: ND40, MM (L2)


GAME OF THE WEEK
AP#1TLIC (3-1) -10 vs AP#2FLC (3-1)
LAST SEASON: TLIC 1-0-1

Our GAME OF THE WEEK is a PCS showdown between AP1/AP2. Last year these two had a 117-117 tie before they both entered the TB PLAYOFFS. FLC hasn’t been in a big game for quite a while. TLIC usually performs well after a Toilet Bowl year. These two teams are not huge rivals such as a TLIC/KC match or a FLC/ND40 tilt so a new rivalry could be born. Its only week five but this is where the separation begins. TLIC QB ROMO gets the start and that is always an adventure. The TLIC RBs is where TLIC is strongest but needs RB CJ to get going and he will. FLC is suspect this week with FLC RB MARION (A Butta dropout) and will need to carried by FLC RB AP. The whole world is on FLC QB Hill this week. Lots of pressure. Both WR trio’s are formidable but this game falls on both QBs. It should be a high scoring good time but TLIC has too much on this warm weekend. MNF will be great as FLC RB AP will need about 35 to win. TLIC BY 10.



BUTTA (2-2) -9 vs ROSS (2-2)
LAST SEASON MEETING: BUTTA 2-0

Red Oak is pumped. We don’t know if ROSS is trying to sell more clip-on beards or what but the shot was called. ROSS predicts victory like Namath and Messier before him. This is just what they needed. Times are hard in Red Oak and people are down. Jobs are scarce. BUT THEY LOVE THE SEA SNAKES. A huge game for ROSS. Defeating the DEFENDING WORLD CHAMPS and EVIL EMPIRE is just what they need. BUTTA comes off the loss to TLIC. This BUTTA team has more gaping holes than Paris Hilton in a homemade sex tape. BUTTA QB Rodgers is the glue that keeps this team afloat. ROSS cut ties with both QBs and starts ROOK QB SAM. Also, brought in was RB Torain but the main threat is ROSS RB MJD. Should be a great one with ROSS WR BRAYLON going for the win on MNF. BUTTA just has enough to beat the young QB SAM. BUTTA BY 9



KC BEES (2-2) -13 vs HOGFATHER (2-2)
LAST SEASON MEETING: NEVAH

Hogs put up a bad one last week. KC still cant believe they aren’t 4-0 at this point. Both teams have endured tough losses and this is a huge game to get momentum going. KC caught the SOFTWARE drinking 40’s on Wednesday night. A night where they are supposed to work on the game plan. Tensions are rising again between the two. We think KC has too much this week with QB Brees and WR Wayne. HF RB Rice needs to prove he was worth the high draft pick this week. KC by 13




GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
MONTREAL (1-3) -1 vs ND40 (1-3)
LAST SEASON MEETING: 1-1
ND40 in the GUT PICK. He invented the GUT PICK. In a week where we see Brett Favre’s PP we get a great GUT PICK game. Both teams clearly need a win. Right now, folks think ND40 is the better team. The gut thinks not. THE GUT feels the MM frustration like Brett feels the need to show his peter to hot chick whos not his wife. There is something we like about MM this week. This is a breakout game for MM. ND40 QB Pimples is not going to get by with a Brett like performance. Folks, MM in a mild upset which puts the highly touted ND40 at 1-4 and leaves Serena wondering, “Is that Brett Favre’s Harry Wang?”

Favre's A Big Dick...

...although he apparently doesn't have one.


http://deadspin.com/5658206/brett-favres-cellphone-seduction-of-jenn-sterger

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: FLC

BP: How are you?

FLC: life is great for FLC….lol. :p Best family ever!!!!! Super talented kids. My beautiful bride makes the yummiest meals. YUM-O!!!!!!! I get to hang with my besties in Naperthrille all day long and do AWESOME things! Job is going well…making soooooooo much money and have clients who loooooove me. Every day I wake up and say: “R U KIDDING ME????????” For realssssssssssssssss-y. ;)



BP: This is a big week for FLC. Even though it’s early, this AP1 vs. AP2 game is as big as Naperville has seen since your Supa Bowl victory. How is the team preparing?

FLC: lot of carb loading, Butta. Oh, and multi-pack purchases of Chasers, the official hangover relief of TPG.

Oh, you meant how the team is preparing. Sorry.

Ummmmmm….lots of extra film sessions. Oh, and extra Indian Runs, Terrible 20’s, Box Drills and 4 Corners. 4 weeks in and FLC is still kinda soft. Not Delta Burke caught in a mattress factory with the Pillsbury Doughboy soft, but soft nonetheless.


BP: It’s interesting that you hired Kanye as your VP/Public Relations/Hype Man. A lot of people around the league thought it was to get back at ND40 for his teaming up with Serena. Ever since ND40 started SMACKIN DAT AZZ, they have been a dominate force in the league. In fact, ND40 is 3rd in All-time wins and have become part of the PFL elite. How has the relationship between you and Kanye helped FLC Football and is this in retaliation to ND40 front office success?


FLC: An unnamed source has suggested that ND40 owner Kurt’s trips to Eastern Europe (specifically Budapest) serve the sole purpose of obtaining East German anabolic steroids. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’. Have we seen ND40 become more aggressive and dominant on the fantasy football field over the past couple of years? Absolutely. Have we also seen ND40 fade in November and December, like Snooki’s tan in January? You bet. Connection to East German anabolic steroid use….you be the judge.

Have you seen Serena lately? Dude…err…gal looks more like Carl Weathers in “Predator” than a woman’s tennis pro.


Aside from all the blatant cheating, Kanye has been a stabilizing force in the FLC front office. Guy is the epitome of calm, cool and collected. Plus, he puts the “a-s-s” in “c-l-a-s-s”.


BP: Rumor has it you and Kanye like to roll up and down the streets of N-Ville in the mini-van after a victory…..and with the focus of harassing Naperville’s most attractive moms. You guys call it “Riding Dirty”. Is this true? Also, we all know that black on black crime is a serious problem in our nation. White on White crime is serious in Naperville as we know. Now, Naperville is calling you guys, “Oreo Nation” and “Twist Ice Cream” when you roll in the mini-van. Are you guys causing trouble?

FLC: No question the Naperville po-po are on the lookout for the street custom Odyssey after FLC victories. They think they can see us lean but the Honda is tint so it ain't easy to be seen. Sure, we got warrants in every city except Houston, but we still ain’t losin’.


Kanye and FLC get this bad boy reputation that we just don’t live up to. In fact, our favorite post-victory routine is to head to some exclusive Naperville haunts and chill with our shorties. Not sure if the rest of the nation has heard of such hot spots as Buffalo Wild Wings and Five Guys, but that’s how Kanye and FLC roll….exclusive. We like poppin’ bottles in the ice; like a blizzard. Oh, and when Kanye and FLC drink, we do it right; gettin’ slizzard. Our post-victory celebrations are like being in a top-notch private aircraft, but I can’t come up with the right name to describe it.

To top off a victory weekend, Kanye and FLC hit the super exclusive Cold Stone. Too damn bad for the rest of TPG’s that you don’t have access to such luxuries like Kanye and me.


BP: Finally, what would a win over TLIC mean to the city this week?

FLC: A victory this weekend would soften a lot of recent Naperville disappointments: the loss in the Illinois State debate finals by the Naperville Central High School Redhawks, the closing of the Ann Taylor Loft on 75th Street and the fact that the city fell to the 54th best place to live according to Money magazine (after being #3 in 2008).

AP PCS WEEK 5

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 TLICIOUS: Its been a long time since AP#1. Its an AP1 VS AP2 showdown this week. TLIC watching FLC game film instead of Letterman? Its true!

AP#2 FLC: Kanye and FLC are feeling the love. Its been a long time since this team had this much excitement going on. This game verses TLIC will bring out the N-ville hot moms in tight fitting FLC gear.

AP#3: KC BEES: This team is better than its 2-2 record. KC is more upset about this then the SOFTWARE. Usually the Software is the one with short unpredictable temper. Stay tuned.

AP#4 BUTTA: This not a good Stallions team yet they always sit around AP4 the first half of the season. The loss to TLIC was devastating.

AP#5 ROSS: Red Oak is excited about the 2-2 start. Clip-on beards are back in style.

AP#6 HOGFATHER: Hogs have had ups and downs. This week was one to forget.

AP#7 ND40: Clearly a team better than their record. ND40 WR Randy wants out. ND40 usually gets through the drama and starts to win games. Serena is not panicking.

AP#8 MONTREAL: MM needs to get it together. However, a slow start could mean a strong finish. A complete opposite of last year.

History of Rap

http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/09/29/justin-timberlake-jimmy-fallon-history-of-rap/

Far East Movement - Like A G6 ft. The Cataracs, Dev

BUTTA PICKS...WEEK 2

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WHO’S HOT: BUTTA (W8), TLIC (5-0-1)
WHO’S NOT: KC (L4)


GAME OF THE WEEK
ROSS (1-0) -1 vs ND40 (0-1)
LAST SEASON: 1-1

THE BATTLE OF TEXAS ALWAYS IS A GREAT ONE. ROSS is flying high right now. 1-0 out of the gates. Red Oak is waving Snakes flags all over town. Everyone seems to have ROSS gear on in the streets. At the local Gentleman’s establishment, the ladies are wearing ROSS G’s. Its crazy. ND40 gets punked at the end by FLC to lose this years first Scherf Extravaganza. They played a great game and Serena never lets up, so expect a tough game from ND40 once again. What a great matchup. ND40 QB Pimples vs ROSS QB Eli. Head to Head. ND40 WR MOSS is being a fool again heading into this game. Not good for ND40. ROSS RB MJD is looking for a big game. This will be a high scoring affair. The Manning QB duel is huge but both teams have great running games as well. We like ND40 RBs TURNER AND MCCOY to give ROSS RB MJD/Charles a good run for their money. Close game folks. We think ROSS has some Uncle Mo. We take them by 1.




AP1 TLIC (1-0) -3 vs MM (0-1)
LAST SEASON MEETING: MM 2-0

Well look at TLIC. AP1 out of the gates. Its been a while. They went crazy on the Software. MM had a rough first week and a motivated TLIC will not make matters better. TLIC seems to have faith in RB McFadden. TLIC RB Arian takes a seat and he is not happy. This could get interesting. TLIC gives qb Romo the start which is always an adventure. MM QB Rivers needs to play well to stay in this one. MM RBs Mathews/Jackson keep it close but TLIC gets by 3



KC BEES (0-1) -7 vs BUTTA (1-0)
LAST SEASON MEETING: BUTTA 2-0

BUTTA played an ugly,ugly game last week. Somehow they get a W. KC played a great game but take the loss. Now the Software is a little nervous. They go 0-2 and he will come down on KC hard. Things will not be good. KC looks strong this week with QB Brees, WR Austin, WR Wayne and TE Davis. BUTTA needs QB Rodgers to hit WR Jennings and TE JerMike Finley often. Also, if BUTTA RB Gore doesn’t bring it, they have no chance. Butta’s 8 game streak comes to an end. KC wins by at least a TD. Software gonna get drunk on Monday night.



GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
FLC (1-0) -3 vs HOGFATHER(0-1)
LAST SEASON MEETING: NONE

The GUT had a huge lunch. Buffet. This game is like a Buffet. Hogs looking for win #1. FLC and Kanye trying to pick up moms in Naperville all week took a toll on the town. Nothing like hot moms being told to stay inside after dark. The GUT features an FLC club that is eyeing AP1. HOGS are going to play much better. GUT loves RB Rice this week but something tells us FLC is going to win another one. GUT SAYS FLC BY 3

Good Times

Hello Ladies

BUTTA PICKS WEEK 1

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We are back! Year 12 of PASTYGANGSTA FOOTBALL. Its ridiculous! Its SCHERF BOWL WEEK….ALREADY…………..



WHO’S HOT: BUTTA (W7), TLIC (4-0-1)
WHO’S NOT: ROSS (L2), KC (L3)


GAME OF THE WEEK
SCHERF BOWL
ND40 (0-0) -6 vs FLC (0-0)
LAST SEASON: ND40 WINS SCHERF CUP 2-0
LIFE TIME SCHERF WINS: ND40 12, FLC 10
CUPS WON: ND40 6, FLC 5

First time ever, a SCHERF BOWL in Week 1. ND40, Serena and their fans were not happy about a week 1 matchup. ND40 was quoted saying, “You cant have a SCHERF BOWL in Week 1. It’s like if I just took Serena with zero foreplay. Its too fast. We need to ease into it and than BAM……SCHERF BOWL. This will be voted on next year. No more SCHERF BOWL in week 1. Too quick of an organism. The season didn’t even start!!” FLC and Kanye are looking for a better season. You cant roll together in Naperville in a mini-van with a losing season anymore. Hot Nville moms aint having that. ND40 has the cup. Presently the score is FLC 35, ND40 13. FLC TE Shiancoe goes nuts. FLC RB AP was ok….just ok. ND40 is very close to catching TLIC in overall wins and comes off a Butta Beating in SB XI. This battle puts FLC QB Brady vs ND40 QB Pimples yet again. Always a great matchup. We like the ND40 RB Spiller/McCoy tandem to surprise FLC like Oprah eating a salad with no dressing. FLC dosent see it coming. ND40 takes this by 6.



KC BEES (0-0) -8 vs TLIC (0-0)
LAST SEASON MEETING: KC 2-0

Always a classic. The TLIC/KC game is greatness. KC owned TLIC last year. The Software was dancing in the streets after putting up 218 in one of the matchups last year. KC QB BREES put up a nice 33 so they have the lead. This week we are not confident in TLIC QB Romo or the TLIC WR trio. TLIC RB Chris J has a big load to carry…like Dom DeLuise running a triathlon. KC and The software have plenty going for them to win another on TLIC. Look out for KC TE Vernon to go gangsta. KC by 8.



HOGFATHER (0-0) -11 vs BUTTA (0-0)
LAST SEASON MEETING: NONE

Welcome to the Hogfather. This franchise has seen STEEL and JOE LOUIS run away. JL won a SB CHAMPIONSHIP. Now the Hog takes over and we hope he stays for years to come. World Champion Butta had a SB hangover draft. So, its Hogs inaugural game verses the Evil Empire. Butta brings back QB Aaron Rodgers back into the fold to try to repeat. HF QB Charles Schwab is going to have a big year and you have to like him going into this game. We like what The Father has cooking. RB Rice if goimg to go off. This one is decided on the MNF matchup of BUTTA WR JOHNNY KNOXVILLE vs. HF WR BOWE. BUTTA is a slow starter and HF inaugural game. Hogs win. We think HF is just stronger overall and we take them by 11.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
MONTREAL (0-0) -1 vs ROSS (0-0)
LAST SEASON MEETING: MM 2-0

How about this little ditty? The cursed MM vs Red Oak. The ROSS fans are excited. So excited. ROSS relinquished his control during the draft like Lindsay Lohan having someone else smoke the crackpipe. Its good but not as good as doing it yourself. The Red Oak faithful love the team this year as do we. No paper bags at any of the preseason games. This team is for real. MONTREAL is always a high-scoring power in the regular season. ROSS is confident in QB Cutler like Eldrick Tiger Woods is at DA CLUB. The GUT loves this game. It just seems like crazy game with lots of turnovers in the mud. If ROSS can stop MM WR Andre they win this thing. THE GUT SAYS MM by an extra point.