2009 DRAFT ORDER

1. BUTTA (TB CHAMP)
2. ND40
3. ROSS
4. TLIC
5. MONTREAL
6. FLC
7. KC BEES
8. JOE LOUIS (WORLD CHAMPION)

BUTTA PICKS, PCS BOWL FINAL EDITION

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WHO’S HOT: KC BEES, JOE LOU, BUTTA, ND40
WHO’S NOT: MM, TLIC


SUPA BOWL X

PREVIOUS SUPA BOWL RESULTS

SUPA BOWL I Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 177, T-licious 170 (1999)
SUPA BOWL II Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 207, Usual Suspects 138 (2000)
SUPA BOWL III Results- T-licious 166, Red Oak Sea Snakes 89 (2001)
SUPA BOWL IV Results- KC Bees 144, T-licious 138 (2002)
SUPA BOWL V Results- North Dallas40 156, T-licious 99 (2003)
SUPA BOWL VI Results-Buttafuoco Stallions 164, North Dallas40 96 (2004)
SUPA BOWL VII Results-Buttafuoco Stallions 169, Montreal Machine 131 (2005)
SUPA BOWL VIII Results- T-licious 139, Red Oak Sea Snakes 117 (2006)
SUPA BOWL VIV Results- Fun Lovin’Criminals 153, Buttafuoco Stallions 146


SUPA BOWL X
#3 JOE LOUIS LIONS (9-6) -14 vs #4 KC BEES (9-6)
SEASON SERIES: JOE LOUIS 2-0

KC makes it back to the big one. You have to go back to 2002 when KC beat TLIC on a last second TD to win SUPA BOWL IV. Was ‘the software’ even around then? I don’t even think it was born yet. The Software has been looking up “escorts” in South Beach during Supa Bowl week and KC is not amused. KCs 2002 Championship was their only SUPA BOWL appearance. JOE LOUIS has taken the league by storm. Last year, they win the regular season title. This year they have a shot to bring home the 8 lb trophy to Prairie City, Iowa.

JL QB Brees vs KC QB Hyvee is huge. You just cant bet against Brees. This is gonna be quick and simple, you gambling degenerates. JOE LOU has the game won at the RB position. JOE RBs Phat Turner and Ronnie will be too much for the KC backs and this will bring the trophy to PRAIRIE CITY. Man, I hope I’m wrong. FLC, get ready for UPS shipment to Prairie City. JOE FREAKING LOUIS by 14



HEARTLAND INN HEARTBREAK BOWL: 3RD PLACE GAME
#2 FLC (8-7) -2 vs #1 MONTREAL (9-5-1)
SEASON SERIES: MONTREAL 2-0

This game leaves us with a bad stomach ache. Poor MM with all the notoriety, their deportation back to Canada….the one point loss. The dream season came down to one ‘friggin’ point. Its sad and the league hurts for them. Then you have F to the L to the C. Naperville’s dirty birds get beat by a few in a high scoring love fiesta. FLC TE Boss has been yelling “laces out Dan” for 48 hours straight. The Abercrombie and Fitch Store in Naperville is flying their FLC flags at half staff. Dude, Im sad for these two teams. A horrible way to fall. They both had great campaigns. Its like what Gov Blago says, “I’ve got this thing, and it’s bleeping golden”. Dude, it “WAS” bleeping golden.

This is an excellent game. Two really really good teams. Looking at their lineups you can see why they were AP1 and AP2. We wont use logic here. Just hunches. MM has been going south the past few weeks. They lose to ROSS…then last weeks tragedy. FLC is the hotter club putting up bigger points and losing pretty last week and all year for that matter. FLC QB Cutler will be strong and MM QB Rivers has a tough game ahead. FLC De Angelo is on fire. We just are not sure what to make of MM RB T-Jones this week. WRs are a wash at this point but we favor FLC. FLC by 2 and they get the 5th or 6th draft pick. GREAT SEASON BY BOTH TEAMS.







TOILET BOWL X

PREVIOUS CHAMPS
1999- Red Oak Sea Snakes
2000- KC Bees
2001- SteelCurtain
2002 – Montreal Machine
2003---Red Oak Sea Snakes
2004---KC Bees
2005---TLicious
2006---KC Bees
2007—T-licious


#2 BUTTA (8-7) -7 vs #1 ND40 (8-7)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

BUTTAs 1st TOILET BOWL ever. BUTTA is all of a sudden one of the hottest teams in the league. ND40 is now a record 5-0 in first round TB games. They are 0-4 in the TOILET BOWL. Doesn’t look real good for them. FIRST OVERALL PICK AT STAKE.

This is an old rivalry game and these two have had great matchups in the past. This one will be decided on MNF in front of millions. Crazy things have happened between BUTTA and ND40 on MNF. This will be no different. ND40 RBs AP and Slaton verses BUTTA RBs Action Jackson and Lucky Pierre Thomas will be big. This will be a high scoring, old school love fest. We’ll go with ND40s horrible TB record and take BUTTA by 7





GUTTER BOWL: 7th PLACE GAME: 3rd pick overall
#3 TLICIOUS (4-10-1) -12 vs #4 ROSS (4-11)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

Just a disaster for both teams this year. This game is just wrong in so many ways. Both were AP7 and AP8 for most of the later half of the season. Now they play for the OVERALL AP7. This is like the Weedeater Bowl without the eater. Both should be smoking weed instead of playin this game. They would be better off. Hey, we gotta play this game with a 3rd pick at stake.

We are tired and like these two teams its time to go to bed. BUTTA PICKS is done for the 10th year and its been a doozy. Its been a fun season. A season as close as any other between AP1 and AP6 (sorry again TLIC and ROSS). Thanks for everyones help chipping in and Im looking forward to AUGUST 2009. GOOD NIGHT NOW.

…….OH and as for the winner of this game, there is no winner

-------OK, TLIC by 12 (don’t pick RB LT with the 3rd pick overall in 2009)

BUTTA PICKS, ROUND ONE PLAYOFF EDITION

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WHO’S HOT: FLC W3
WHO’S NOT: Nobody


SUPA BOWL PLAYOFFS
AP1 MM (9-4-1) -2 vs AP4 KC BEES (8-6)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

Hot damn. MM is having a season that no one thought was possible, not even the software. The regular season champ is 1-3 in the SB playoffs with one trip to the Supa Bowl. First time they have been here since 2005. KC BEES/SOFTWARE are right back where they left off last year. They got beat by FLC in the round one. KC is 5-3 in the SB PLAYOFFS with ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.

Folks, this game comes down to KC QB Hyvee Warner and WR Fitzy. KC desperately needs RB Barber in the lineup. Its up in the air and we wont know until gametime. MM is well balanced and RB Forte and Jones have done it for them all year….and they will this week. KCs RBs Hightower and LJ better bring it. The KC WRs not counting Fitz are ehhh. MM QB Rivers and WR Roddy will be big. MM has all the love this year. It will be close but MM will go the BIG ONE. The software is going to be pissed at KC until Aug 2009…..and then the software will be pissed again. We’ll see what effect the ROSS game had on ol MM. MM by 2



AP2 FLC (8-6) -1 vs AP3 JOE LOUIS (8-6)
SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-0

FLC was a monster down the stretch, rising to AP2 in the very last week. The defending champ was a laughing stock until last year. All of a sudden they are in great position to do it again. FLC is 4-2 in SBP play with ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP. JOE LOUIS has taken the league by storm since joining us in 2007. They are 1-1 in the SB playoffs.

Not only is this a big game, it’s the GAME OF THE WEEK. Two evenly matched teams. FLC QB Cutler vs JOE QB Brees. Damn, it don’t get better than that. FLC WR Andre vs JOE WR Randy. FLC RB DeAngelo vs JOE RB Phat Turner. Its crazy. Then, JOE WR Calvin vs FLC WR Colston. The list goes on and on. The winner comes down to FLC RB Lendale vs JOE RB Ronnie…….for some reason we like RB Lendale. This will be a nail biter till the end. FLC will need the MIA DEF to come through and they will….oh, they will. FLC by 1



TOILET BOWL PLAYOFFS


#1 ND40 (7-7) -4 vs #4 ROSS (4-10)
SEASON SERIES: ND40 2-0

Oh, THE BATTLE OF TEXAS is headed to round 3. ND40 had an up and down campaign and get the #1 seed in the TBP. ND40 is 4-4 in the TB PLAYOFFS and get this…..0-4 in the TOILET BOWL. 2 of the losses vs TLIC. So, if they make it to the BOWL, they’ll probably blow it again. ROSS had a rough go at it this year but the fans have stuck by them. ROSS is a bit of a Toilet legend. ROSS is 6-7 (1 bye) in TBP action. ROSS has 2 TOILET BOWL CHAMPIONSHITS.

When ROSS has RB Westy playing well, they are a scarier football team. ND40 must be a aware of this. ROSS QB Jason and WR Santana could be in for a solid week and there is no reason they cant match ND40 QB Rodgers and WR Jennings……although weather could be a factor for ROSS QB Jason. ND40 RB AP should really light it up but a change of QB for Minn could hurt Mr. All Day. ROSS WR Boldin is stud to be reckoned with and he’ll be big this week. The matchup of ROSS RB Leon vs ND40 RB Slaton is a game decider. Were going with Slaton. ND40 by 4………Could be ND40s record 5th TOILET BOWL appearance.





#2 BUTTA (7-7) -9 vs #3 TLICIOUS (4-9-1)
SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

Wow. BUTTA vs TLIC in the TB PLAYOFFS. Usually they meet in the upper division playoff but this will be good anyway. BUTTA has never played in a TOILET BOWL game. Their playoff record speaks for itself though (13-5). TLIC is starting to get use to this here sh!thouse. Last year they won it all. Two years before that they did it again. TLIC is 5-1 in the TB PLAYOFFS with 2 TOILET BOWL CHAMPIONSHITS. That is very successful bathroom etiquette.

Butta is red hot in their last 4 outings. TLIC comes off a big win over KC. Butta has TLICs number the past 2 years and well…..it aint looking good again. BUTTA QB Pimp is going to make WR Harri feel like hes 25 again. TLIC WR Reggie who? BUTTA WR Smith is an animal. BUTTA TE John Carlson was on WKRP in Cincinnati. BUTTA RB Steven and RB Chris Johnson are primed for big games. TLIC QB Ryan will be big and so will WR Brandon. The only way TLIC wins is if TLIC RB LT figures out how to put up his 2006-2007 type numbers. Otherwise, fogetahbowtit. BUTTA will head to different championship game this year. BUTTA BY 9

AP PCS, Regular Season Final

AP1 MONTREAL: They backed into the playoffs but they are the team to beat. Its a dream season so far

AP2 FLC: Amazing come from behind win in Week 14 to lock up #2 seed. The defending champs are red hot and the Naperville is oozing with confidence and a little arrogance.

AP3 JOE LOUIS: A rematch set next week with FLC

AP4 KC BEES: The software is a little miffed at KC for the fall to AP4. KC just cant please this power hungry program. They get a tough matchup with MM

AP5 ND40: Met a surging Butta team. Now the battle of Texas vs a sneaky ROSS and Westy.

AP6 BUTTA: Red hot coming into the TB playoffs, their first ever.

AP7 TLIC: A nice win over KC but they have been having trouble with Butta, their 1st round matchup

AP8 ROSS: Believe it or not, Red Oak is happy after a nice finish and whipping AP1 MM. Now expect a sold out crowd with clip-on beards vs ND40. Things are looking up for 2009.

And hockey guys get hot chicks, FLC PICKS, WEEK14

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Did someone mention “sloppy seconds”? Why-oh-why is Sean Avery so misquoted? Of course he was simply talking about those great Thanksgiving leftovers that get a bit messy after 5 days in the ‘fridge. Me thinks the NHL needs to turn down the sensitivity-o-meter just a tad. At least Avery didn’t McSorley someone.

The usually reliable Buttapicks was a bit sloppy ourselves last week: we hit 2 and we missed 2. But, we were really, really close on last week’s “Gut Pick” (KC vs. Ross line -25; actual -24). Because we tried really, really hard and we came so very close to making you mo’ money, we would please ask that the angry phone calls to our offices stop. You guys know who you are. We just hired a pretty li’l gal this week who joined us after a stint with the Big 12 offices in Dallas. She got so tired of hearing “f#*%*ng idiots!”, “good for nothin’ sh!tbags” and “no talent @ssclowns!” that she had to find a new job and she ended up at Buttapicks. Let’s not make her 1st week on the job a bad one. We like how she takes dictation and she’s got magic fingers. Plus, we promise to be extra good in our picks this week. Let’s roll!

WHO’S HOT: MM W2 (and 3 of 4), FLC W2
WHO’S NOT: TLIC L5 (winless in last 8), ROSS L3 (and 4 of 5)


THE GAME OF THE WEEK
AP3 JOE LOUIS (8-5) -15 vs AP4 FLC (7-6)
LAST MEETING: FLC 146, JOE 101

This is THE game of the week. It’s like that little university that’s located in Columbus, Ohio. No, it’s not Ohio State University: it’s THE Ohio State University. You know: the place that produces athletic teams that can’t clinch THE national championship time and time again. But, enough Buckeye hatred. This one is simple folks: if FLC wins, they’re in the “real” playoffs. If Joe Louis wins, they can make a case for AP #2 and home field advantage in the Pasty Gangtaz playoffs (and, you just can’t minimize home field advantage in fantasy football).

Give the advantage to JL in the rematch. In Week 7, JL’s QB Brees had an off day against a strong Carolina Panthers “D”. In Week 14, Brees faces an Atlanta “D” that gives up a lot of passing yards. In addition, look for JL’s “D” of Pittsburgh to score more points than JL got out of Dallas’ “D” in Week 7. FLC has had to make a major change at the RB position. FLC replaces workhorse Portis with LenDale White who is up against a Cleveland rush defense that is 26th in the league. However, White is also up against his own teammate Chris Johnson in terms of touches so it’s not a clear move in terms of payoff for FLC. While FLC looks to have a good line-up of WR’s going this week, the combination of JL WR Randy Moss against Seattle’s “D” (league worst 265 yards passing against) and JL RB Michael Turner against a generous Saints’ “D” gives JL the edge.

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MS. GONGENIALITY GAME OF THE WEEK
AP5 ND40 (7-6) +7 vs AP6 BUTTA (5-4)
LAST MEETING: ND40 141, BUTTA 119

Don’t be hatin’ Buttapicks. This game is good: it just didn’t look as good in the evening gown competition. But, there are important implications in this match-up, especially if FLC falters at the finish line. ND40 needs a “W” like a post-Clinton White House keyboard needed a “W”. Butta needs a “W” like Iowa Hawkeye freshman forward Andrew Brommer needs free throw shooting lessons. We’re actually not sure what a “W” gives Butta: home field advantage for the 1st round of the Toilet Bowl? A win by Butta (by silly points) + huge underperformances by both FLC and ND40 could put Butta in the “real” playoffs. We calculate the odds at somewhere between “slim” and “none” (similar odds to whether Lois Feldman was drugged at the Metrodome and ‘forced’ to…ummm…engage in various sex acts with a stranger in the men’s restroom, while onlookers cheered them on).

The computers say that both QB’s could have monster days on Sunday but Buttpicks.com disagrees. While ND40 QB Rogers performed well during a Week 7 match-up against Indy, Tom Skilling from WGN sez “don’t forget your booties because it’s cold in Green Bay on December 7”. Give the edge in the QB position to Butta during Week 14 as Pimples Manning goes against the Bungles while QB Rogers has to deal with a high temp predicted to be no more than 20 during the Packers game against Houston. We also like Butta’s WR’s this week: Steve Smith, T.O. and Donald-Duck-Driver could be big while ND’s WR line-up will likely be more “miss” than “hit”. ND40 is going with the savvy move of picking up and playing the “your-former-#1-receiver-is-hurt-and-shot-hisself-in-the-leg-with-a-Glock-.40-so-his-azz-is-grass-and-now-I’m-the-#1” WR. While ND40 definitely has an advantage at RB (Slaton could get lots of touches at a cold weather Lambeau), Butta’s combination of K Bironas and Indy’s “D” against Cincinnati could provide the difference. Yes, I said it: a kicker could make the difference.

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AP2 KC BEES (8-5) pick’em vs AP7 TLIC (3-9-1)
LAST MEETING: KC 141, TLIC 92

KC and the Sunshine Computer Band getting’ no love from fellow Pasty Gangstaz this week: despite an 8-5 record, at least 2 PG’s feel KC will miss the “real” playoffs. Perhaps KC’s total points (currently 5th in the league) is casting some doubt? KC can erase all doubt with a pounding of TLic [insert Lois Feldman joke here…actually you can insert an “insert Lois Feldman…” joke here too] this week. Meanwhile, TLic is riding out [Feldman joke goes here] the season. After boarding the SS Minnow for what the team thought was going to be a 3-hour tour, TLic instead finds themselves stranded on a desert island. And, there’s no Ginger. There’s no Mary Ann. There’s no Lois Feldman. Heck, there’s not even a Mrs. Howell. TLic is gearing up for Toilet Bowl ’08 and the coveted #1 draft pick which led to so much glory this season. Oh…wait…scratch that.

KC put a hurtin’ on TLic in Week 7 but Buttapicks just doesn’t see it happening again. In fact, the Week 14 match-up is so close, we’re going all-chicken sh!t and calling this game a pick’em. Call us yellow. Call us cowards. We don’t care. Just don’t call us next week looking for an extension on your payment to us.

Both QB’s will be silly this weekend: Cassel should rebound from a clunker against a poor Seattle “D”. Meanwhile, Hy-Vee Warner is going to light up St. Louis like a Kennedy pre-Christmas party. Or, a Britney Spears pre-surprise-wedding night in Vegas. You guys go with the analogy that works for you. We also think the WR match-ups are even, with each wideout holding an advantage over every pass defense they face. While TLic holds a sizable advantage in the team Defense category (Baltimore vs. Chicago’s “D”), KC holds a sizable advantage in the TE department (Tony G. vs. Dustin [“don’t call me Diamond”] Keller). It’s just too close to call folks…so, we won’t. Bwawk, bwawk.

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GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP1 MONTREAL (9-3-1) -14 vs AP8 ROSS (3-10)
LAST MEETING: MM 138, ROSS 97

The gut thought it was finished after last Thursday night. After the 4th glass of Shiraz (to help wash down the 2nd slice of Aunt Beth’s pecan pie), the gut was tired. The gut was bloated. The gut was flabby and all tore up. But, the gut is back and it likes the Week 14 match-up of Montreal vs. ROSS.

Conventional wisdom would tell you that Montreal would coast in Week 14. After all, Montreal is the regular season champ and has nothing to play for. But, Buttapicks sees an intriguing match-up nonetheless. It’s going to be tough sledding for Montreal at the RB position as Bears’ RB Forte faces a pissed off Jaguar “D” and Thomas Jones goes against a better-than-average 49ers rush “D”. Meanwhile, ROSS has got decent match-ups against team defenses at the WR and RB positions (nice to see Westbrook back in a ROSS line-up). For Montreal to cover the spread, it’s going to come down to 2 positions: QB and team defense. Philip Rivers could have a great day against the Raiders and Tennessee could have a great day against a Cleveland offense whose field general is now…Ken Dorsey? However, the Raiders are horrible against the run and Rivers may simply give the ball to L.T. And, Cleveland could be really, really good and put up huge numbers against the Titans and…wait…no…that won’t happen. Never mind.

Team ROSS could make this one close if QB Roethlisberger shakes off a so-so performance against the Patriots and really sticks it to Dallas. The Cowboys have a top 10 defense but have shown themselves to be rather inconsistent throughout the 2008 season (witness back-to-back October losses to Arizona and St. Louis). Although Roethy will be the better QB this weekend, the gut still likes Montreal and likes them by 2 touchdowns.

That’s it. Sit back, set the recliner to “chill” and enjoy another great weekend of football. Remember: at Buttapicks, we don’t make the product…we make the product better.

AP PCS WEEK 14

AP#1 MONTREAL: Regular season champs for the first time ever. Canada has never been more proud. Plaxico will have to watch playoffs from jail cell.

AP#2 KC BEES: The software guarantees a win next week

AP#3 JOE LOUIS: Filing complaint against the PCS. Thinks they should be AP2

AP#4 FLC: High point total will come in handy next week. N-ville ready to defend the title.

AP#5 ND40: Must beat Butta for any shot at the "better 4 playoff"

AP#6 BUTTA: Buttas worst season ever but could be .500 with a win over ND40.

AP#7 TLIC: A season to forget. Already talking to QB Brees about next year. JOE claims tampering

AP#8 ROSS: Red Oak wants the TOILET BOWL Title. The beards are out in full force