Buttapicks.com

Let's Go Hawks!

2011-12-16T19:30:00.000-06:00

Draft Weekend Pics

2011-08-23T20:48:00.001-05:00

Pro Wresting is Real

2011-08-12T10:17:00.001-05:00

No Words...

2011-07-09T13:30:00.001-05:00

Herm and the Rooks

2011-07-04T20:07:00.001-05:00

Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit)

2011-01-11T13:12:00.000-06:00

BUTTA PICKS CHAMPIONSHIP/BOWL WEEK XII

2010-12-22T09:52:00.002-06:00

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1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: MM (W3)
WHO’S NOT: FLC (L3), HOGFATHER (L3)

SUPA BOWL XII

SUPA BOWL I Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 177, T-licious 170 (1999)
SUPA BOWL II Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 207, Usual Suspects 138 (2000)
SUPA BOWL III Results- T-licious 166, Red Oak Sea Snakes 89 (2001)
SUPA BOWL IV Results- KC Bees 144, T-licious 138 (2002)
SUPA BOWL V Results- North Dallas40 156, T-licious 99 (2003)
SUPA BOWL VI Results-Buttafuoco Stallions 164, North Dallas40 96 (2004)
SUPA BOWL VII Results-Buttafuoco Stallions 169, Montreal Machine 131 (2005)
SUPA BOWL VIII Results- T-licious 139, Red Oak Sea Snakes 117 (2006)
SUPA BOWL VIV Results- Fun Lovin’Criminals 153, Buttafuoco Stallions 146
SUPA BOWL X Results- Joe Louis Lions 141, KC Bees 93
SUPA BOWL XI Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 167, North Dallas 40 154

#1 TLICIOUS (11-4) -2 vs #3 MM (9-6)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

CELEBRITY PICKS: Buttapicks.com asked celebrities who they think will win the SUPA BOWL

Alec Baldwin: TLIC
Carrie Underwood: MM
Oprah: MM
Barack Obama: MM
Tiger Woods: MM
Elin Woods: MM
Katie Couric: TLIC
Brittany Murphy: MM
Eddie Murphy: TLIC
Jerry Jones: TLIC
Jenny Jones: TLIC
Jessica Alba: MM
Jessica Simpson: MM
Anderson Cooper: TLIC
David Hasselloff: TLIC
Brad Pitt: MM
Tupac: TLIC
Bill Gates: TLIC
Madonna: TLIC
Brett Favre: TLIC
Deanna Favre: MM

This is TLICs 6th SUPA BOWL appearance and they have TWO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS. TLIC HAS NOT won the BIG one in 4 years. This is MMs 2nd Supa Bowl. They lost 5 years ago in their only appearance.

We’ll here we are. The big diggity dog of them all. SUPA BOWL XII. Both teams had tough games last week to make it to the greatest game in the world. MM has quietly snuck his way in to the big game. For MM…Johnson, Johnson and Jackson are going to be tough for TLIC to deal with. Throw in MM QB Phil and now it’s as tough as getting Oprah into a Subaru. AP1 TLIC RBs Darren and CJ are money but TLIC QB Gerrardo only might be money. This game has fireworks written all over it. Its going to be a nailbiter fo sho. In the end, we take TLIC on the legs of the RBs and WR Roddy taking it on MNF. TLIC BY 2. IT’S THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!

THE BRIDESMAID BOWL (3RD PLACE)

#4 ND40 (7-8) -6 vs #2 BUTTA (8-7)
SEASON SERIES: ND40 2-0

Serena and ND40 were so close to an absolutely magical season. Sure, they make magic in the bedroom. I didn’t say that. Butta was so close to defending the championship but now will have to start evilness again come next September. BUTTA QB Rodgers and Jennings will hook up more than Tiger in a Vegas strip club VIP ROOM. ND40 QB Pimp will be strong to quite strong. ND40 RBs Turner and McCoy have a new hit single out called “Do Me Like You Do”. Seriously, they sound like a 60’s R and B duo. Really dough, they will be very good this weekend. ND40 looks good this weekend and we take them by 6.

TOILET BOWL XI

TOILET BOWL CHAMPIONS
1999- Red Oak Sea Snakes
2000- KC Bees
2001- SteelCurtain
2002 – Montreal Machine
2003---Red Oak Sea Snakes
2004---KC Bees
2005---TLicious
2006---KC Bees
2007—T-licious
2008----Buttafuoco
2009----T-licious

#3 KC BEES (6-9) -14 vs #1 ROSS (8-7)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

KC has taken 3 trips to the Toilet Bowl and is a perfect 3-0. ROSS has been in the Toilet Bowl 2 times and has 2 TB Championships. Both teams are Toilet Bowl gold! Someone will lose their first TB! The Winner gets the #1 pick next year!

Both teams are downright nasty (a good nasty) in the Toilet Bowl. Like the next morning after you eat a bean burrito. Ratings are huge in the TB. The public loves this game. #1 pick at stake and another championship to be battled upon. ROSS QB Sanchez will be just so-so. We cannot deny KC this Championship after the rough season they have had. Software was scene last night on Hollywood Blvd. drunk like no other. He needs a pick me up. ROSS has been as unstable as Jeremy London on Celebrity Rehab this year but the flags and beards are out in Red Oak. Folks, KC..BIG this weekend and a record 4TH TB CHAMPIONSHIP.

WASTE MANAGEMENT BOWL (7TH PLACE)

#4 HOGFATHER (5-10) vs #2 FLC (6-9)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

PFL/AP/PCS officials are not pleased with the matchup. Ticket sales are rough. This bowl game could possibly lose 20 MILLION DOLLARS. More people are lined up to see Carl Lewis sing a duet with David Hassellhoff. In any case, FLC has a horrible TB Playoff record and are playing like the worst team in the league right now. HOGS are new to this and are playing better football. THE WINNER GETS #3 OVERALL IN NEXT YEARS DRAFT.

BUTTA PICKS PLAYOFF WEEK

2010-12-16T21:47:00.001-06:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

THE ROAD TO SUPA BOWL XII and TOILET BOWL XII

WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W4)

SUPA BOWL PLAYOFFS
#1 TLIC (10-4) -5 vs #4 ND40 (7-7)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

TLIC is 7-5 in the SUPA BOWL PLAYOFFS with FIVE SUPA BOWL appearances and TWO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS. TLIC HAS NOT BEEN IN THE SB Playoffs in 3 years

ND40 is 5-7 in the SB PLAYOFFS and with THREE SB appearances and ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.

The two teams in that battled in the Toilet Bowl last year are now competing for a trip to SUPA BOWL XII. COTY TLIC had their best regular season in quite some time and are fully loaded in this game. ND40 has ripped off 4 wins in a row and are red hot. This is going to be a high scoring love fest. Both teams are MONEY at RB this week and ND40 QB Pimp is due for a big game. We like the TLIC WRs “Roddy and Pierre” (sounds like two French guys in a horrible ABC sit-com only to be cancelled after 2 episodes) to do damage to ND40 hopes and dreams. This is the best matchup this week. The winner is the clear favorite to win the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP. TLIC BY 5

#3 MONTREAL (8-6) -7 vs #2 DEFENDING CHAMPION BUTTAFUOCO (8-6)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

The EVIL EMPIRE BUTTA is an unreal 15-5 in the SUPA BOWL PLAYOFFS. SIX SUPA BOWL APPEARANCES and FIVE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS.

MONTREAL is 2-6 in the SUPA BOWL PLAYOFFS with ONE SB Appearance.

BUTTA takes a huge hit with QB Rodgers concussion. BUTTA is no stranger to adversity and this week is a mess. MM has quietly put together a SB contender. However, the horrible SB PLAYOFF RECORD is always hanging over them. MM looks strong to quite strong with the WRs named Johnson and RB Jackson. MM QB Rivers will be tough to contain on Thursday night as well. BUTTA is in disary and trying to put together a team to somehow sneak into a 7th SB appearance. MM looks to tough for BUTTA this week. MM wins by a TD and will take a trip to SB XII.

TOILET BOWL PLAYOFFS

#1 ROSS (7-7) -1 vs #4 HOGS (5-9)
SEASON SERIES: ROSS 2-0

HOGFATHER HAS NEVER BEEN IN THE TOILET BOWL PLAYOFFS

ROSS is 7-11 in the TOILET BOWL PLAYOFFS. TWO TB APPEARANCES and TWO TB CHAMPIONSHIPS
ROSS is a savvy Toilet Bowl vet. 2 championships. Hogfather had a disappointing first season but they can go out in grand style with a trip to TOILET BOWL XII. HG will put up a fight but ROSS’ fine RBs will take them to another TB appearance. ROSS by 1.

#3 KC BEES (5-9) -3 vs #2 FLC (6-8)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

KC is 8-2 in the TB PLAYOFFS. THREE TB APPEARANCES and THREE TB CHAMPIONSHIPS

FLC is 4-10 in the TB PLAYOFFS and THREE TB APPEARANCES

KC/Software is the best AP7 team ever. FLC is struggling down the stretch a bit especially after the 38 point spot last week. KC is a fine 8-2 in the TB Playoffs. FLC is 4-10. This is KC all the way to the TB XII.

...This the Play-N-Skillz When We Out and Cruisin'

2010-12-09T11:12:00.002-06:00

Kanye and FLC rollin' through the 'ville in the FLC-mobile.

Peace and love to Toyota.

PASTGANGSTA WEEK 14 MADNESS

2010-12-08T22:16:00.002-06:00

FLC vs ROSS

WHATS AT STAKE: Its simple. The winner has a shot to get in the SUPA BOWL PLAYOFFS. The loser most likely get the #1 seed in the TB PLAYOFFS. Points are important for the winner as well. FLC needs a ND40 loss and a W on their end. This is the only way Kanye gets in SBP. FLC’s low point total is an obstacle. ROSS needs to win and needs ND40 to lose.

TLIC vs HOGFATHER:

WHATS AT STAKE: Not much for TLIC. The REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP is pretty much a lock. With a 100 point lead over BUTTA, a TLIC loss could still mean a tie-breaker win for the RS championship for TLIC. For HOGS? Just Uncle Mo for the Toilet Bowl Playoffs and some office bragging rights.

BUTTA vs ND40:

WHATS AT STAKE: BUTTA could actually tie TLIC in the standings for first place if TLIC loses to HG. However, BUTTA has a slim chance to win the RSC. For ND40? First of all, what a great comeback to get in this position from living in the Bed n’ Breakfast basement for the first half of the season. ND40 has a nice point total which means if they win, they are going to not only get in the SBP…... They could be a AP3 going in with a MM loss. That is quite ‘Evil Empire-ish” if you know what I mean. Nice job, ND40…..That said, Butta aint laying down this week.

MM vs KC:

WHATS AT STAKE: Pretty simple here…..sorta. MM wins and they lock up AP3. They lose and they can still get in SBP based on a solid overall point total. If MM loses and completely tanks…I mean like a 60 point game….ROSS could catch them with a monster point game and a W.

COACH OF THE YEAR VOTING: On Tuesday morning, COTY voting begins with a 1st place pick and 2nd place pick….and you cant vote for yourself. Post your pick on the League board. I will post when to begin.

NEW THIS YEAR: The COTY winner gets 4 free beers/or milkshakes/or whatever on Friday night of draft weekend. THE TOLIET BOWL WINNER will drink for FREE on Saturday night of DRAFT WEEKEND. Basically, the other attendees will pitch in to buy all drinks no matter what it is. IF you don’t show for DRAFTWEEKEND you forfeit this prize.

E-Andrews

2010-11-20T12:45:00.000-06:00

BUTTA PICKS 11: Ever eat at Bang Bang?

2010-11-17T19:09:00.003-06:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: TLIC (W8)
WHO’S NOT: ROSS (L3)

FOUR WEEKS LEFT IN REGULAR SEASON. POINTS! EVERYONE NEEDS POINTS except for TLIC.

GAME O’ THE WEEK
AP1 TLIC (9-1) -10 vs AP2 BUTTA (5-5)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 172, BUTTA 132

AP1-AP2. BUTTA-TLIC. Weve seen this before. TLIC has pretty much clinched the regular season CHAMPIONSHIP. BUTTA needs some separation. Many would say the MM-FLC tussle is the GOTW but you cant ever go wrong with this matchup….Except a high scoring affair, like Tony Parker and one of his teammates wives. Its true! Read it online! TLIC takes this one because the Uncle Mo shows no slowin yet.

MM (5-5) -3 vs FLC (5-5)
LAST MEETING: FLC 136, MM 124

A huge game for both. The winner gets ever so closer to a SB playoff berth. MM has made great strides to get back in the hunt. FLC is still hanging around as well. The winner has a great shot at SB playoff life. MM’s Johnson WRs will be tough but we don’t see QB Brady losing this game. FLC by 3

KC BEES (4-6) -9 vs ND40 (3-7)
LAST SEASON: KC 169, ND40 149

KC QB Vick just saved the Software’s season. Software wants to take credit for the Vick acquisition. KC says Software had nothing to do with it. Here we go again. The two just cant feel the love for one another. Just when ND40 crawls out of the basement with Serena, she pulls him back in. Once you go pasty, you never go back.....ummm outside. An ND40 loss would be devastating to their hopes….as devastating as Brandi losing to Bristol the Pistol. Know what Im sayin’. KC is really looking like they are going to make some noise in the last 4 weeks of regular season play and we take em.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
HOGFODDER (4-6) -1 vs ROSS (5-5)
LAST SEASON: ROSS 121, HF 67

“Slip slidin away. Slip slidin away. You know the nearer your destination…the more youre slip sliding away”, sang Eldon Wright, a part-time worker at the Ace Hardware in Red Oak. The Red Oak faithful should not get too down. Still at 5-5 they are in it. The three game losing skid really needs to end though. HOGS are turning the corner with a nice win last week. At 4-6, they gotta take this GUT game. After that great Pork sandwich GUT had for lunch…….. The GUT likes Hogs in this one.

Hired Talent in N-ville

2010-11-13T06:54:00.004-06:00

G-L-A-M

O-R-OUS

We flying the first class
Up in the sky
Poppin' champagne
Livin' the life
In the fast lane
And I wont change
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

Fine Naperville Talent

B-PICKS 10

2010-11-11T00:05:00.001-06:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: TLIC (W7), FLC, BUTTA (W2)
WHO’S NOT: KC BEES (L4), HOGFATHER (L3)

FIVE WEEKS LEFT IN REGULAR SEASON

GAME O’ THE WEEK
ND40 (3-5) -1 vs HOGS (3-5)
LAST MEETING: HOGDADDY 140, ND40 135

ND40 is not dead. Serena found that out last night. HOGS are having issues and need to right the ship starting NOW. This is a MUST WIN game unless you strive for the Toilet Bowl Playoffs. This will be a dandy of a ball game. The loser has major issues ahead. We feel like ND40 Pimp somehow pulls this out. Will QB Pennington find HG WR B-Marshall often? Tough to say. ND40 wins with 1 second left.

TLICIOUS (8-1) -20 vs ROSS (5-4)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 163, ROSS 107

“ROSS is a big tease.” That is what 9 yr old Red Oak native, Jess Christenson said after leaving the stadium on Sunday. ROSS controlled their destiny at AP2 just 3 weeks ago. That control has disappeared like Tiger picking up one of those “escort” cards on the Las Vegas strip. The town still believes though. Clip-on beards still sported by everyone from kindergarten teachers to the oldest of nuns. ROSS is still in this thing. The attitude is still positive.. TLIC has the REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP well in sight. In fact, they are bored…..like Kurt watching womens basketball…..oh wait..nevermind. TLIC takes even more wind out of ROSS’ sails. TLIC by 20

BUTTA (5-4) -4 vs MONTREAL (4-5)
LAST SEASON: BUTTA 166, MM 113

BUTTA at AP2. The Evil Empire being evil. They wont go away. MM is right in thick of it. Butta’s WRs are as suspect as Ellen saying she likes men.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
KC BEES (3-6) -10 vs FLC (5-4)
LAST SEASON: FLC 158, KC 148

OH man, is the SOFTWARE pissed. 4 game losing streak. The SOFTWARE is so furious at KC. I mean….its bad……real bad. SOFTWARE is blaming KC for everything. When KC plays, the other team blows up but SOFTWARE doesn’t care. Hes drunk. Hes got prostitutes. Hes smoking cigars again. And hes pissed. This is worse than John Daly…doing anything. FLC has a SCHERF CUP and is right where Kanye wants him to be. KC without Brees but GUT cant imagine what SOFTWARE will do if they lose. GUT hopes for a KC win.

Glengarry Glen Ross speech

2010-10-23T15:57:00.000-05:00

B-PICKS 7

2010-10-23T14:53:00.001-05:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: TLIC (W4)
WHO’S NOT: ND40 (L4)

GAME OF THE WEEK
FLC (3-3) -2 vs ROSS (4-2)
LAST SEASON: FLC 2-1

The GOTW features ROSS and FLC. We wonder if this matchup has ever been the GOTW. Folks, Red Oak BELIEVES. The town is crazy. Taco’s on Tuesday. Wednesday?.....ROSS HUMP DAY. On Wednesday, there was a huge rally in Red OAK……and when FLC comes to town things get even more crazy. A rivalry game and GOTW….both teams are contenders….LETS get it on. We see a very close game. Really, this one can go either way. Its like Lady Gaga at a dinner with Pitt and Jolie. Which one does she go with at the end of the night? Its hard to go against this ROSS magic going on but we will. I mean what are the odds of the Rangers going to the WS and ROSS going 5-2. We think FLC TE Tony M. has a big day and pushes FLC to a tight victory. Also, FLC WR Wes gets his grove back. FLC BY 2

HOGFATHER (3-3) -2 vs TLIC (5-1)
LAST SEASON MEETING: NEVAH

THE BATTLE OF BRENTWOOD? OR THE LOU? What are we gonna call it? HOGS had their best week ever and look like they are hitting stride. TLIC looks like the one to beat. Hopefully this is a rivalry in the making…..like Holyfield vs Tyson…….You look at these two lineups and it’s a tough one. It will be a high scoring affair with a touch of drama. MNF features a slew of players in this game. We think this is the Week of the HOG. Hogs are on the upswing. TLIC has a letdown game. HOGS WIN BY 2

KC BEES (3-3) -8 vs MONTREAL (2-4)
LAST SEASON MEETING: 1-1-1

A big game for MM. If MM loses they will have a big hole to dig out of…like Favre vs Deanna. KC and The Software have been bickering all week like an old married couple. A loss for KC means drinking, hookers and dance clubs all week for the SOFTWARE…..Actually win or lose that is always the SOFTWARE’s week. KC gets the nod because we feel a real monster day out of KC QB BREES. MM has some holes to fill with bye weeks. KC BY 8

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
BUTTA (3-3) -10 vs ND40 (1-4)
LAST SEASON MEETING: ND40 2-1

A REMATCH OF THE 2009 SUPA BOWL is the GUT PICK. The gut pick features a must win situation for ND40. Next week is SCHERF BOWL, so we don’t know if ND40 is looking past Butta or not. ND40 is a professional, so we think not. ND40 needs QB Carson to stop being ‘not good.’ The GUT doesn’t analyze. The GUT just PICKS. The GUT SAYS……….EVIL EMPIRE BY 10.

AP PCS 7

2010-10-18T23:17:00.001-05:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 TLICIOUS: TLIC comes through again. TLIC controls his own SB playoff destiny now. A showdown hoedown with HOGFATHER this week.

AP#2 ROSS: What a story. ROSS hasn’t been this high in the rankings since 2006 when the went to the SUPA BOWL.. Red Oak Sea Snake flags are all over town. ROSS has won 3 straight and this week they get a fired up Kanye.

AP#3: KC BEES: Software and KC are not on speaking terms right now. Nuff said.

AP#4 BUTTA: Hanging around at AP4…The Evil Empire ain’t dead yet. Still this team is on shaky ground. They hookup with ND40 in a SB rematch.

AP#5 FLC: Kanye and FLC still are ‘ridin dirty’ down Naperville Blvd.

AP#6 HOGFATHER: Hogs put up their best performance in their young history. A huge showdown with AP1 this week.

AP#7 MONTREAL: A very tough loss on a fine offensive performance. MONTREAL needs some love. A few wins get them back into the top 4. They are a good team that has some breaks coming for them in the future.

AP#8 ND40: They need to start winnin. 12-2 record from last year is forgotten as far as Serena is concerned. She’s sayin, “What have you done for me lately?” The Basement Bed and Breakfast is back in business.

BUTTA PICKS 6

2010-10-13T23:15:00.002-05:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: TLIC (W3)
WHO’S NOT: ND40 (L3)

GAME OF THE WEEK
KC BEES (3-2) -13 vs ROSS (3-2)
LAST SEASON: 1-1

Seriously, When was the last time ROSS was in the GOTW. This is a HUGE game for ROSS. A win puts them at 4-2 and possibly a share of first place. KC/Software is starting to roll like Favre on a blackberry. The Software is feeling it. He even went shopping for new clothes at Von Maur before hitting the bars. KC was not pleased. Red Oak is buzzing right now. The town has the fever like Eldrick Woods pulling an all-nighter at the Adult Book Store off I-80. Clip-on beards are popping up everywhere. KC looks strong this week. Can ROSS WRs Moss and Lloyd keep up with KC WRs Miles and Reg. Its gonna be tough. ROSS needs to keep that WR matchup close and needs ROSS RB Ryan T. to put up big points to get the upset. Red Oak believes! KC by 13

TLIC (4-1) -3 vs ND40 (1-4)
LAST SEASON MEETING: ND40 2-0

You would think AP1 vs AP8 is not a big game. This one is. Not only a rivalry but two teams trying to find out who they are. ND40 is not a team that should be AP8 but W’s is the name of the game. An ND40 loss here and they will be in MUST-WIN situations by Week 8. TLIC is clear cut AP1 right now and they are HOT. Like Alyssa Milano…..doing anything…..anytime….like ever. Folks, this will be a high scoring affair. ND40 is going all out. Look for 300-plus total points in this one. The big difference in the game? TLIC RB Chris Johnson’s 30 points this week. TLIC BY 3

FLC (3-2) -1 vs BUTTA (2-3)
LAST SEASON MEETING: BUTTA 2-0

Butta has fallen on hard times. Injuries and Under achievers. The quick hook has been activated. Coffee is for closers and this team does not drink coffee. The Evil Empire is on a downward swing and looking for someone to show something. FLC is in the hunt….like Anderson Cooper standing in the middle of a Category 5 hurricane. He has no business there….YET….hes there! Should be a very close game. BUTTA picks up QB Eli and rolls with him. It will be interesting to see how FLC WR Wes plays this week. Should be a close one. FLC by 1

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
HOGFATHER (2-3) -2 vs MM (2-3)
LAST SEASON MEETING: NEVAH

The gut game is a big one. The loser will have some digging to do. The health of MM WR Calvin is critical to their success. HF has some nice matchups according to the GUT. MM looks good too…like a Jimmy Johns #14……according to the GUT. The GUT looks…..thinks……and says………….BRISTAL PALIN WINS DANCING WITH THE STARS………..oh, HOGS BY 2.

All I Do is Win

2010-10-12T22:30:00.000-05:00

Hat tip to the HogFather...

A Saturday Without Hawkeye Football

2010-10-09T11:45:00.002-05:00

What's a guy to do?

Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

BP PICKS 5

2010-10-09T00:24:00.003-05:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: TLIC, FLC (W2)
WHO’S NOT: ND40, MM (L2)

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP#1TLIC (3-1) -10 vs AP#2FLC (3-1)
LAST SEASON: TLIC 1-0-1

Our GAME OF THE WEEK is a PCS showdown between AP1/AP2. Last year these two had a 117-117 tie before they both entered the TB PLAYOFFS. FLC hasn’t been in a big game for quite a while. TLIC usually performs well after a Toilet Bowl year. These two teams are not huge rivals such as a TLIC/KC match or a FLC/ND40 tilt so a new rivalry could be born. Its only week five but this is where the separation begins. TLIC QB ROMO gets the start and that is always an adventure. The TLIC RBs is where TLIC is strongest but needs RB CJ to get going and he will. FLC is suspect this week with FLC RB MARION (A Butta dropout) and will need to carried by FLC RB AP. The whole world is on FLC QB Hill this week. Lots of pressure. Both WR trio’s are formidable but this game falls on both QBs. It should be a high scoring good time but TLIC has too much on this warm weekend. MNF will be great as FLC RB AP will need about 35 to win. TLIC BY 10.

BUTTA (2-2) -9 vs ROSS (2-2)
LAST SEASON MEETING: BUTTA 2-0

Red Oak is pumped. We don’t know if ROSS is trying to sell more clip-on beards or what but the shot was called. ROSS predicts victory like Namath and Messier before him. This is just what they needed. Times are hard in Red Oak and people are down. Jobs are scarce. BUT THEY LOVE THE SEA SNAKES. A huge game for ROSS. Defeating the DEFENDING WORLD CHAMPS and EVIL EMPIRE is just what they need. BUTTA comes off the loss to TLIC. This BUTTA team has more gaping holes than Paris Hilton in a homemade sex tape. BUTTA QB Rodgers is the glue that keeps this team afloat. ROSS cut ties with both QBs and starts ROOK QB SAM. Also, brought in was RB Torain but the main threat is ROSS RB MJD. Should be a great one with ROSS WR BRAYLON going for the win on MNF. BUTTA just has enough to beat the young QB SAM. BUTTA BY 9

KC BEES (2-2) -13 vs HOGFATHER (2-2)
LAST SEASON MEETING: NEVAH

Hogs put up a bad one last week. KC still cant believe they aren’t 4-0 at this point. Both teams have endured tough losses and this is a huge game to get momentum going. KC caught the SOFTWARE drinking 40’s on Wednesday night. A night where they are supposed to work on the game plan. Tensions are rising again between the two. We think KC has too much this week with QB Brees and WR Wayne. HF RB Rice needs to prove he was worth the high draft pick this week. KC by 13

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
MONTREAL (1-3) -1 vs ND40 (1-3)
LAST SEASON MEETING: 1-1
ND40 in the GUT PICK. He invented the GUT PICK. In a week where we see Brett Favre’s PP we get a great GUT PICK game. Both teams clearly need a win. Right now, folks think ND40 is the better team. The gut thinks not. THE GUT feels the MM frustration like Brett feels the need to show his peter to hot chick whos not his wife. There is something we like about MM this week. This is a breakout game for MM. ND40 QB Pimples is not going to get by with a Brett like performance. Folks, MM in a mild upset which puts the highly touted ND40 at 1-4 and leaves Serena wondering, “Is that Brett Favre’s Harry Wang?”

Favre's A Big Dick...

2010-10-08T15:05:00.003-05:00

...although he apparently doesn't have one.

http://deadspin.com/5658206/brett-favres-cellphone-seduction-of-jenn-sterger

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: FLC

2010-10-06T21:37:00.002-05:00

BP: How are you?

FLC: life is great for FLC….lol. :p Best family ever!!!!! Super talented kids. My beautiful bride makes the yummiest meals. YUM-O!!!!!!! I get to hang with my besties in Naperthrille all day long and do AWESOME things! Job is going well…making soooooooo much money and have clients who loooooove me. Every day I wake up and say: “R U KIDDING ME????????” For realssssssssssssssss-y. ;)

BP: This is a big week for FLC. Even though it’s early, this AP1 vs. AP2 game is as big as Naperville has seen since your Supa Bowl victory. How is the team preparing?

FLC: lot of carb loading, Butta. Oh, and multi-pack purchases of Chasers, the official hangover relief of TPG.

Oh, you meant how the team is preparing. Sorry.

Ummmmmm….lots of extra film sessions. Oh, and extra Indian Runs, Terrible 20’s, Box Drills and 4 Corners. 4 weeks in and FLC is still kinda soft. Not Delta Burke caught in a mattress factory with the Pillsbury Doughboy soft, but soft nonetheless.

BP: It’s interesting that you hired Kanye as your VP/Public Relations/Hype Man. A lot of people around the league thought it was to get back at ND40 for his teaming up with Serena. Ever since ND40 started SMACKIN DAT AZZ, they have been a dominate force in the league. In fact, ND40 is 3rd in All-time wins and have become part of the PFL elite. How has the relationship between you and Kanye helped FLC Football and is this in retaliation to ND40 front office success?

FLC: An unnamed source has suggested that ND40 owner Kurt’s trips to Eastern Europe (specifically Budapest) serve the sole purpose of obtaining East German anabolic steroids. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’. Have we seen ND40 become more aggressive and dominant on the fantasy football field over the past couple of years? Absolutely. Have we also seen ND40 fade in November and December, like Snooki’s tan in January? You bet. Connection to East German anabolic steroid use….you be the judge.

Have you seen Serena lately? Dude…err…gal looks more like Carl Weathers in “Predator” than a woman’s tennis pro.

Aside from all the blatant cheating, Kanye has been a stabilizing force in the FLC front office. Guy is the epitome of calm, cool and collected. Plus, he puts the “a-s-s” in “c-l-a-s-s”.

BP: Rumor has it you and Kanye like to roll up and down the streets of N-Ville in the mini-van after a victory…..and with the focus of harassing Naperville’s most attractive moms. You guys call it “Riding Dirty”. Is this true? Also, we all know that black on black crime is a serious problem in our nation. White on White crime is serious in Naperville as we know. Now, Naperville is calling you guys, “Oreo Nation” and “Twist Ice Cream” when you roll in the mini-van. Are you guys causing trouble?

FLC: No question the Naperville po-po are on the lookout for the street custom Odyssey after FLC victories. They think they can see us lean but the Honda is tint so it ain't easy to be seen. Sure, we got warrants in every city except Houston, but we still ain’t losin’.

Kanye and FLC get this bad boy reputation that we just don’t live up to. In fact, our favorite post-victory routine is to head to some exclusive Naperville haunts and chill with our shorties. Not sure if the rest of the nation has heard of such hot spots as Buffalo Wild Wings and Five Guys, but that’s how Kanye and FLC roll….exclusive. We like poppin’ bottles in the ice; like a blizzard. Oh, and when Kanye and FLC drink, we do it right; gettin’ slizzard. Our post-victory celebrations are like being in a top-notch private aircraft, but I can’t come up with the right name to describe it.

To top off a victory weekend, Kanye and FLC hit the super exclusive Cold Stone. Too damn bad for the rest of TPG’s that you don’t have access to such luxuries like Kanye and me.

BP: Finally, what would a win over TLIC mean to the city this week?

FLC: A victory this weekend would soften a lot of recent Naperville disappointments: the loss in the Illinois State debate finals by the Naperville Central High School Redhawks, the closing of the Ann Taylor Loft on 75th Street and the fact that the city fell to the 54th best place to live according to Money magazine (after being #3 in 2008).

AP PCS WEEK 5

2010-10-05T22:42:00.002-05:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 TLICIOUS: Its been a long time since AP#1. Its an AP1 VS AP2 showdown this week. TLIC watching FLC game film instead of Letterman? Its true!

AP#2 FLC: Kanye and FLC are feeling the love. Its been a long time since this team had this much excitement going on. This game verses TLIC will bring out the N-ville hot moms in tight fitting FLC gear.

AP#3: KC BEES: This team is better than its 2-2 record. KC is more upset about this then the SOFTWARE. Usually the Software is the one with short unpredictable temper. Stay tuned.

AP#4 BUTTA: This not a good Stallions team yet they always sit around AP4 the first half of the season. The loss to TLIC was devastating.

AP#5 ROSS: Red Oak is excited about the 2-2 start. Clip-on beards are back in style.

AP#6 HOGFATHER: Hogs have had ups and downs. This week was one to forget.

AP#7 ND40: Clearly a team better than their record. ND40 WR Randy wants out. ND40 usually gets through the drama and starts to win games. Serena is not panicking.

AP#8 MONTREAL: MM needs to get it together. However, a slow start could mean a strong finish. A complete opposite of last year.

History of Rap

2010-09-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/09/29/justin-timberlake-jimmy-fallon-history-of-rap/

Far East Movement - Like A G6 ft. The Cataracs, Dev

2010-09-17T22:39:00.000-05:00

BUTTA PICKS...WEEK 2

2010-09-16T22:08:00.002-05:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: BUTTA (W8), TLIC (5-0-1)
WHO’S NOT: KC (L4)

GAME OF THE WEEK
ROSS (1-0) -1 vs ND40 (0-1)
LAST SEASON: 1-1

THE BATTLE OF TEXAS ALWAYS IS A GREAT ONE. ROSS is flying high right now. 1-0 out of the gates. Red Oak is waving Snakes flags all over town. Everyone seems to have ROSS gear on in the streets. At the local Gentleman’s establishment, the ladies are wearing ROSS G’s. Its crazy. ND40 gets punked at the end by FLC to lose this years first Scherf Extravaganza. They played a great game and Serena never lets up, so expect a tough game from ND40 once again. What a great matchup. ND40 QB Pimples vs ROSS QB Eli. Head to Head. ND40 WR MOSS is being a fool again heading into this game. Not good for ND40. ROSS RB MJD is looking for a big game. This will be a high scoring affair. The Manning QB duel is huge but both teams have great running games as well. We like ND40 RBs TURNER AND MCCOY to give ROSS RB MJD/Charles a good run for their money. Close game folks. We think ROSS has some Uncle Mo. We take them by 1.

AP1 TLIC (1-0) -3 vs MM (0-1)
LAST SEASON MEETING: MM 2-0

Well look at TLIC. AP1 out of the gates. Its been a while. They went crazy on the Software. MM had a rough first week and a motivated TLIC will not make matters better. TLIC seems to have faith in RB McFadden. TLIC RB Arian takes a seat and he is not happy. This could get interesting. TLIC gives qb Romo the start which is always an adventure. MM QB Rivers needs to play well to stay in this one. MM RBs Mathews/Jackson keep it close but TLIC gets by 3

KC BEES (0-1) -7 vs BUTTA (1-0)
LAST SEASON MEETING: BUTTA 2-0

BUTTA played an ugly,ugly game last week. Somehow they get a W. KC played a great game but take the loss. Now the Software is a little nervous. They go 0-2 and he will come down on KC hard. Things will not be good. KC looks strong this week with QB Brees, WR Austin, WR Wayne and TE Davis. BUTTA needs QB Rodgers to hit WR Jennings and TE JerMike Finley often. Also, if BUTTA RB Gore doesn’t bring it, they have no chance. Butta’s 8 game streak comes to an end. KC wins by at least a TD. Software gonna get drunk on Monday night.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
FLC (1-0) -3 vs HOGFATHER(0-1)
LAST SEASON MEETING: NONE

The GUT had a huge lunch. Buffet. This game is like a Buffet. Hogs looking for win #1. FLC and Kanye trying to pick up moms in Naperville all week took a toll on the town. Nothing like hot moms being told to stay inside after dark. The GUT features an FLC club that is eyeing AP1. HOGS are going to play much better. GUT loves RB Rice this week but something tells us FLC is going to win another one. GUT SAYS FLC BY 3

Good Times

2010-09-12T15:45:00.004-05:00

Hello Ladies

2010-09-12T14:20:00.003-05:00

BUTTA PICKS WEEK 1

2010-09-11T23:12:00.002-05:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

We are back! Year 12 of PASTYGANGSTA FOOTBALL. Its ridiculous! Its SCHERF BOWL WEEK….ALREADY…………..

WHO’S HOT: BUTTA (W7), TLIC (4-0-1)
WHO’S NOT: ROSS (L2), KC (L3)

GAME OF THE WEEK
SCHERF BOWL
ND40 (0-0) -6 vs FLC (0-0)
LAST SEASON: ND40 WINS SCHERF CUP 2-0
LIFE TIME SCHERF WINS: ND40 12, FLC 10
CUPS WON: ND40 6, FLC 5

First time ever, a SCHERF BOWL in Week 1. ND40, Serena and their fans were not happy about a week 1 matchup. ND40 was quoted saying, “You cant have a SCHERF BOWL in Week 1. It’s like if I just took Serena with zero foreplay. Its too fast. We need to ease into it and than BAM……SCHERF BOWL. This will be voted on next year. No more SCHERF BOWL in week 1. Too quick of an organism. The season didn’t even start!!” FLC and Kanye are looking for a better season. You cant roll together in Naperville in a mini-van with a losing season anymore. Hot Nville moms aint having that. ND40 has the cup. Presently the score is FLC 35, ND40 13. FLC TE Shiancoe goes nuts. FLC RB AP was ok….just ok. ND40 is very close to catching TLIC in overall wins and comes off a Butta Beating in SB XI. This battle puts FLC QB Brady vs ND40 QB Pimples yet again. Always a great matchup. We like the ND40 RB Spiller/McCoy tandem to surprise FLC like Oprah eating a salad with no dressing. FLC dosent see it coming. ND40 takes this by 6.

KC BEES (0-0) -8 vs TLIC (0-0)
LAST SEASON MEETING: KC 2-0

Always a classic. The TLIC/KC game is greatness. KC owned TLIC last year. The Software was dancing in the streets after putting up 218 in one of the matchups last year. KC QB BREES put up a nice 33 so they have the lead. This week we are not confident in TLIC QB Romo or the TLIC WR trio. TLIC RB Chris J has a big load to carry…like Dom DeLuise running a triathlon. KC and The software have plenty going for them to win another on TLIC. Look out for KC TE Vernon to go gangsta. KC by 8.

HOGFATHER (0-0) -11 vs BUTTA (0-0)
LAST SEASON MEETING: NONE

Welcome to the Hogfather. This franchise has seen STEEL and JOE LOUIS run away. JL won a SB CHAMPIONSHIP. Now the Hog takes over and we hope he stays for years to come. World Champion Butta had a SB hangover draft. So, its Hogs inaugural game verses the Evil Empire. Butta brings back QB Aaron Rodgers back into the fold to try to repeat. HF QB Charles Schwab is going to have a big year and you have to like him going into this game. We like what The Father has cooking. RB Rice if goimg to go off. This one is decided on the MNF matchup of BUTTA WR JOHNNY KNOXVILLE vs. HF WR BOWE. BUTTA is a slow starter and HF inaugural game. Hogs win. We think HF is just stronger overall and we take them by 11.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
MONTREAL (0-0) -1 vs ROSS (0-0)
LAST SEASON MEETING: MM 2-0

How about this little ditty? The cursed MM vs Red Oak. The ROSS fans are excited. So excited. ROSS relinquished his control during the draft like Lindsay Lohan having someone else smoke the crackpipe. Its good but not as good as doing it yourself. The Red Oak faithful love the team this year as do we. No paper bags at any of the preseason games. This team is for real. MONTREAL is always a high-scoring power in the regular season. ROSS is confident in QB Cutler like Eldrick Tiger Woods is at DA CLUB. The GUT loves this game. It just seems like crazy game with lots of turnovers in the mud. If ROSS can stop MM WR Andre they win this thing. THE GUT SAYS MM by an extra point.

The Future of ESPN

2010-08-31T11:00:00.001-05:00

Call 911

2010-08-30T10:26:00.002-05:00

Kurtie burnin up the dance floor...

Still a classic

2010-08-09T23:28:00.000-05:00

TLIC Stadium finally upgraded

2010-06-21T23:36:00.000-05:00

And now...

2010-04-01T21:46:00.001-05:00

Conway Twitty.

2010 DRAFT ORDER FOR KC

2009-12-29T21:38:00.000-06:00

2010 DRAFT ORDER
-------------------
1. TLICIOUS
2. JOE LOU
3. FLC
4. ROSS
5. KC or MM (MM gets to pick which spot)
6. KC or MM
7. ND40
8. BUTTA

BUTTA PICKS 14

2009-12-09T22:47:00.000-06:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W7), BUTTA (W4)
WHO’S NOT: FLC (L6), ROSS (L4)

GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 (11-2) -2 vs KC (6-6-1)
LAST MEETING: ND40 168, KC 151

The Software is pumped. KC is not, only because they could get ND40 two times in a row. ND40 has wrapped up their first REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP. Serena went shopping with Dayna which was a little awkward for ND. Folks, we’ll get right to it. KC wins and they are in. If they lose, and JOE loses they are still in. We think this will be a high scoring affair but even though it is a meaningless game for ND40 they still win a close ballgame.

JOE LOU (6-7) -7 vs ROSS (4-9)
LAST MEETING: JOE LOU 137, ROSS 121

JOU has never been relegated to the Toilet Bowl playoffs. The DEFENDING SB CHAMPS need a win and a KC loss or they will probably face AP8 FLC/KANYE in the first round of TB playoffs. JOE QB Brees and WR Wayne will be too much for QB Joe Flacco and company. ROSS will need big production from RB Steve Jackson and THAT wacky cast of WRs in Red Oak. JOE BY 7

MONTREAL (8-4-1 ) -4 vs BUTTA (9-4)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 177, MONTREAL 127

Winner gets AP2 and #2 SEED. These two will face each other in round 1 no matter what. This one will just look good for the record books and set the tone for the playoff battle next week. MM RB C-JOHNSON gonna run wild! MM by 4

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
TLICIOUS (4-9) -3 vs FLC (3-10)
LAST MEETING: FLC 160, TLIC 111

TLIC is like Marah on Fiah. They could be a #2 seed in the TB playoffs. What a turnaround folks! The GUT loves TLIC like Tiger loves a cocktail waitress……and a partygirl……..and a cocktail waitress. Gut CANT BET against TLIC right now…….

See you next week for ROUND 1 OF THE SB AND TB PLAYOFFS

AP PCS 14

2009-12-08T21:53:00.000-06:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONS: SCHERF BOWL CHAMPIONS. Only one for more to complete the trifecta. Serena made ND40 get freaky the past couple of nights. All is well in North Dallas.

AP#2 BUTTAFUOCO: The Evil Empire has quietly hit AP2. They get MM this week and probably MM in first round of SB playoffs.

AP#3: MONTREAL: Couldn’t beat ND40. Now get Butta two weeks in a row. Tough road but they are salivating at a rematch with ND40 in the SUPA BOWL.

AP#4 KC BEES: Software has set themselves up for the 4 spot nicely. Now must get past the Regular Season Champs to face them yet again in round 1.

AP#5 JOE LOU: An obvious must win. They get a reeling ROSS. Software has offered ROSS a hefty reward for a win…..and lots of women…Tiger’s broads.

AP#6 TLIC : TLIC has done it. Their highest ranking of the year. A 2 game win streak. The odds on fav to win the Toilet Bowl Championship. And no more basement

AP#7 ROSS: ROSS is already eyeing some high priced items since SOFTWARE has promised many luxuries if they beat JOE LOU. ROSS had promise this year but is falling apart in the second half of the season.

AP#8 FLC : Kayne and FLC playing Rock Band on the Wii in the basement. Not what TLIC envisioned for the future of the basement.

BUTTA PICKS 13

2009-12-03T21:59:00.002-06:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W6), BUTTA (W3)
WHO’S NOT: FLC (L5), ROSS (L3)

GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 (10-2) -5 vs MM (8-3-1)
LAST MEETING: MM 224, ND40 130

MM put up 224 on ND40 in the last meeting. Folks, this is the big one. The best regular season matchup left on the board until the SB-TB playoffs. MM still has hopes for their second REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP in a row. Serena says she will stick balls right down MM’s gullet. TMZ.COM is reporting that fame has gotten to ND40 and Serena. Serena crashes the car. ND40 has a tennis racket in hand at the scene. We don’t know what to make of it. MM meanwhile just stays out of the headlines and keeps putting up wins and ties. Folks, ND40 QB Pimples and RB MJD will out last MM and setup a possible SUPA BOWL bonanza. ND40 by 5

TLICIOUS (3-9) -7 vs JOE LOU (6-6)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 137, JOE LOU 90

Folks, Tlic is gaining momentum like Elin Woods with a 3 wood. Run and get the heck out of there, JOE LOU. JOE LOU is barely hanging on, like Dr Phil almost trying to help someone. Huge game for TLIC, JOE and KC. TLIC can break out of the basement for good. JOE with a win ,can hold off KC for another week. A JL loss and door is open for KC. We love TLIC this week. JL QB Brees wont be enough yet again. TLIC by 7.

KC BEES (5-6-1) -9 vs ROSS (4-8)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 178, KC 168

The Software is good friends with both Tiger Woods and Elin. He is torn. Software’s celeb status puts him in the middle of a sticky situation. Software needs to put this behind him and get ready for the game. KC is not happy with the Software’s lack of focus. Software is never happy with KC so it doesn’t matter. ROSS had potential but a 3 game losing streak has sunk the SB playoff hopes like Oprah taking the last bite of some cheesecake. KC gets the edge in this one due to the WR matchup. KC sneaks in a win and makes week 14 real interesting.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
BUTTA (8-4) -3 vs FLC (3-9)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 189, FLC 115

BUTTA is playing for SB playoff position. FLC is trying to avoid the basement like Tiger trying to avoid a slumpbuster at a crowded LA night club. Slumpbusters are for poor white guys like Mark Grace. This game has less meaning than a naughty Tiger text message. The GUT is more interested in chips ahoy cookies (reduced fat) than this game…..HOWEVER, THE GUT sees a winning streak verses a losing streak and loves the Evil Empire by 3.

AP PCS 13

2009-12-01T22:49:00.000-06:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: SCHERF BOWL CHAMPIONS. The big one this week vs MONTREAL. TMZ.com is reporting that Serena backed her car out of ND40s garage at 3am and crashed. She had no shoes on and ND40 broke the window with a tennis racket to save her. Serena was bloodied like a guy after a fight with Patrick Swayze in ‘Road House’. More news on this during butta picks.

AP#2 MONTREAL: The tie really hurts MMs chances of a REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP. Still the ND40-MM matchup is here and could be a SUPA BOWL PREVIEW.

AP#3: BUTTA: The Evil Empire makes quick work of JOE LOUIS even with QB Brees working it on MNF. They clinch a SB playoff spot,

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: KC’s tie helps JL breath easier but with 2 weeks remaining this is a wide open playoff race.

AP#5 KC BEES: Software is pumped and now its time to turn it on. They get a hurting ROSS squad this week.

AP#6 ROSS: ROSS riding a 3 game losing streak is pretty much done and gearing up for Toilet Bowl action

AP#7 TLIC: TLIC puts it together and now gains momentum heading into the Toilet Tournament. Looking to pass ROSS in the standings

AP#8 FLC : Kayne is just pissed right now. Sharing the basement with TLIC for at least this week and the race card is flying around like Johnnie Cochran at an OJ trial.

BUTTA PICKS 12

2009-11-26T09:25:00.000-06:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W5), MM (W4)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L5), FLC (L4)

GAME OF THE WEEK
SCHERF BOWL XXIII
ND40 (9-2) -21 vs JOE (3-8)
LAST MEETING: ND40 139, FLC 136

Kanye verses Serena. ND40 can win the cup with an outright win. If FLC wins by 4 or more the Cup is theirs. It’s the granddaddy of them all. The Scherf Bowl sponsored by Rolling Rock. ND40 is going to go gangsta with RB Gore and MJD. Add ND40 QB Pimples and good night. FLC must counter hard….like ND40 after a Sonny lap dance. FLC needs some freaking love from QB Romo. FLC RBs Forte and Addai must answer the bell or it will be a long day for Kanye and FLC. ND40 wins by 21 and WINS THE SCHERF CUP 2009.

MONTREAL (8-3) -1 vs KC (5-6)
LAST MEETING: KC 169, MM 150

With a win, the Software is in striking distance of the SB playoffs. MONTREAL is chasing down a second straight Regular Season Championship. KC can take this one verses MM but it wont be easy, like a 20 yr old trying to make it out of a Paula Abdul Cougar Convention in one piece. MM RB Chris and Ray need to be slowed down. The KC WRs are above average and they must do what is right! KC QB Charles Schwab must put up the big numbers. A close game here! KC needs the win. MM by an extra point

BUTTAFUOCO (7-4) -15 vs JOE LOU (6-5)
LAST MEETING: JOE 149, BUTTA 77

JOE needs a win to keep the Software at bay. Butta has to get win #8 to just about clinch a SB playoff spot. This game is coming down to MNF with JL QB Brees and BUTTA WR Wes. Butta has a lot going good this week. A JL loss means they might have to start hitting the panic button. We like Butta to clinch a playoff spot with with this one. BUTTA by 15

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
TLIC (2-9) -1 vs ROSS (4-7)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 102, TLIC 97

If ROSS puts 3 wins together 8-6 could get them in the SB playoffs but a lot needs to happen. TLIC just wants to put Kanye back in the basement. THE GUT looked at this game over and over and he calls it as even. Seriously, this could end being the best game of the week. The gut says its TLIC because one close game will go their way this year. This is it. TLIC will ruin Red Oaks playoff hopes and ruin their Thanksgiving.

AP PCS RANKINGS 12

2009-11-24T00:02:00.000-06:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: SCHERF BOWL this week. ND40 is rolling. AP PCS #1 for many weeks in a row. A regular season championship is now in sight but……….

AP#2 MONTREAL: This team has ND40 on the radar, like Oprah wants to nail a pancake at I-HOP on any given Sunday morning. The media thinks this might be the best team in the country. What a big matchup with KC this week. MM is no longer taken for granted like Carl Weathers in Happy Gilmore.

AP#3: BUTTA: The Evil Empire is back….and everyone thought this would be a down year for Buttason. “Buttason, sand the floor”

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: JL now hears footsteps….those of the SOFTWARE. Software is pissed. Software wants KC to kneel before him like Superman did before Zod.

AP#5 KC BEES: Software and KC trying to patch up things with one last drive for the SB playoffs. They were spotted eating BBQ at Famous Daves going over particulars.

AP#6 ROSS: ROSS must win out for any chance of SB playoff love. This weeks loss hurt real bad like Paula Abdul at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.

AP#7 FLC : Kayne is just pissed right now.

AP#8 TLIC: Another heart wrenching loss. Time to get out of the basement and see the sun. TMZ.com is reporting that TLIC is going to leave a Taylor Swift cd on the recliner for Kanye by seasons end. TLIC is planning on getting out of the basement with 3 weeks to go.

Butta Picks Week 11

2009-11-20T15:57:00.002-06:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W4), MM (W3)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L4), FLC (L3)

GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 (8-2) -35 vs JOE (6-4)
LAST MEETING: ND40 122, JOE 96

Can ND and Serena be stopped? Who dares to get in their way with Serena’s temper and ND’s ability to hack your Facebook account? In steps JL who is coming off a solid win over the Bees and the software. At 6-4 JL needs a win to get within a game of ND and remove any chance of slipping into the lower chamber. I hesitated on writing Butta Picks because I was waiting for JL to put in SJax and remove Stewart. I thought, “Surely, he must be joking.” But he wasn’t joking and probably doesn’t like being called Shirley. There’s just too much firepower on ND’s side as Peyton will likely offset Brees and MJD will do his bowling ball routine against the hapless Bills. JL has a nice offset to Manning with Mr. Wayne but in the end it’s ND in a possible blowout of the week victory.

MONTREAL (7-3) -19 vs ROSS (4-6)
LAST MEETING: MM 141, ROSS 112

MM comes in riding a 3 game winning streak while ROSS is looking for a Rocky III type comeback after Butta laid down a Clubber beating last week. CJ and Rice will be tough to contain but Ricky “Ronnie Who?” Williams has made the RB race closer this week than originally expected. Brady gets the edge for ROSS but the MM WRs are looking strong to quite strong. Even though Moss is unlikely to duplicate last week’s performance, Steve Smith has already done his part and Hines is a solid brand whether you are talking football or ketchup. ROSS’ WRs will all have to exceed expectations but Wallace is an interesting sleeper and could be a key for the upset if he can outperform Ward. Yet, MM is stacked like a bad Pamela Anderson sitcom and gets the nod here.

KC BEES (4-6) -12 vs FLC (3-7)
LAST MEETING: FLC 116, KC 93

The software is licking its chops as it gets a reeling FLC. The Bees are looking to leverage the #1 rule in fantasy football this year – start any player going against the Rams. Warner, Fitzy and a surging Beanie are all likely to have big days and AJ and Clark will be solid as well. I expect FLC to counterpunch a bit though as Housh should benefit from an offense that will have to throw the ball against the Vikes and Colston is due for a big game. If Forte can catch 10 balls out of the backfield and Roddy can get the dreads flying against the Giants on the road then I’m sayin there’s a chance. If the good Romo shows up it could get fun…if the bad Romo shows up then say goodnight Gracie.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
BUTTA (6-4) -29 vs TLIC (2-8)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 150, BUTTA 131

TLIC comes off a heart breaking 2 point loss to the ND, Serena and Peyton trifecta. Butta “rolls” in on a high note having dispatched of ROSS and The Beards with the blowout of the week. Butta is looking for revenge after being one of the two lowly victims of TLIC this year. Although Favre has another delicious matchup at home and LT is having a “baby daddy” resurgence there appears to be too much firepower on the other side. Rodgers should have a good game in between being sacked like a pile of grain and AP will be taking all the fantasy points not generated by grandpa Brett. The WRs are also solidly in Butta’s favor with Sydney and Brandon coming off huge games although no Kyle “I love Southeast Polk” Orton could cause Marshall to go MIA. TLIC gets the edge in DEF and TE but that ain’t gonna cut it. Butta by 29.

AP PCS Rankings 11

2009-11-17T21:21:00.002-06:00

AP#1 ND40: 8 wins already. SB playoff tickets already on sale. Venus is Ticket Manager. Beat TLIC by 2. They cant do anything wrong right now. No, it wasnt ND and Serena flipping off the stadium…it was…..

AP#2 MONTREAL: MM is rolling along just waiting for their shot at ND40. Kanye had no chance against the MACHINE.

AP#3: BUTTA: BUTTA gets back on track by hurting ROSS. They get reeling TLIC this week. BUTTA installing stripper polls at home games when Vandy's mom comes to the games

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: beats KC and and still hanging around. QB Brees and WR Wayne are a scary combo.

AP#5 KC BEES: Software still not speaking to KC. Software has gone into hiding while KC runs the show. The daily morning coffee between the two is postponed indefinitely

AP#6 ROSS: Its been a roller coaster season for ROSS. The fans have faith but MM is in front of them this week.

AP#7 FLC : The league has fined FLC and Kanye for flipping off the stadium in the loss to MM. We knew this was coming.

AP#8 TLIC: Too many single digit losses. Almost upends AP1 ND40. Unsure how to entice even season ticket holders to home games, TLIC is giving away free stock tips.

BUTTA PICKS 10

2009-11-12T21:22:00.001-06:00

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W3)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L3)

GAME OF THE WEEK
KC BEES -5 (4-5) vs JOE (5-4)
LAST MEETING:

Software is happy again and being his slutty self this week. JOE got beat down but still hanging around. KC QB Warner vs JOE QB Brees. Add KC QB/RB RON BROWN to the mix and JOE has his hands full. KC Ronnie will throw another TD pass. JOE needs some production from the RBs or they have no chance. QB BREES needs some help. KC wins and gets back into the SB playoff race.

ROSS (4-5) -2 vs BUTTA (5-4)
LAST MEETING:

ROSS is really starting to come alive and they could make a playoff run. ROSS RBs Phat Turner and DeAngelo could carry them to some victories late in the season. BUTTA gets RB AP back just in time. This should be a good one. ROSS QB Brady is ripe for a big game. Red Oak fans are really getting pumped. They will edge out Butta in a slight upset.

MONTREAL (6-3) -11 vs FLC (3-6)
LAST MEETING:

MM might be the best team in the league. ND40 has a lot to say about that but they cant deny that they have some stiff competition. Serena knows about stiff when it comes to ND. Anyway, FLC has a large mountain to climb. Its like Oprah trying to get around on one of those kids blowup bounce houses you see at a kids carnival or gym. Just ugly lookin and not right. MM RBs Rice and CJ are gonna go gangsta on FLC. FLC needs to be firing on all cylinders. Hopefully QB Romo doesn’t meet any hot blonds in Green Bay. It’s a safe bet he wont. MM all the way.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
ND40 (7-2) -8 vs TLIC (2-7)
LAST MEETING:

The GUT says this is really bad timing for TLIC to try to get a win. They get ND40 and a very horny Serena. ND40 has nothing left but on the football field they are energized and unstoppable right now. TLIC could pull off a huge upset but the RBs Hightower and LT must get 25 plus each. ND40 goes 8-2 and is assured SB playoff love.

AP PCS RANKS, WEEK 10

2009-11-08T23:34:00.002-06:00

AP#1 ND40: They are making everyone look silly. Now, 7-2 and looking like the odds on favorite to wing the Cup. Serena is just what this team needed.

AP#2 MONTREAL: Demolishes JOE LOU is now as solid as a #2 as you can get.

AP#3 BUTTA: Gets his lunch handed to him by ND40. Gets a giddy ROSS team next week

AP#4 JOE LOU: Montreal shows them who is in charge. QB BREES needs help

AP#5 KC BEES: Huge win over TLIC and the Software feels they should be at least at #4

AP#6 ROSS: A great win and now looking to knock off Butta to get into SB contention

AP#7 FLC: N'Ville mayor calls FLC after loss 5 times. FLC not returning call.

AP#8 TLIC: TLIC season ticket holders want to know where Agassi got that meth. They need something right now even if chemically induced.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 9

2009-11-06T23:02:00.003-06:00

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WHO’S HOT: BUTTA (W3)
WHO’S NOT: KC BEES(L3)

GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 -15 (6-2) vs BUTTA (5-3)
LAST MEETING: ND40 181, BUTTA 116

The GAME OF THE WEEK features two old rivals. ND40 is the class of the league this year and seems to be getting stronger. Even when ND is out of the country the team doesn’t miss a beat. ND40 RB Gore is back and this team is scary right now. BUTTA is hot on fire but this will be a near impossible feat. ND40 QB PIMPLES, RB MJD AND GORE will be too much. The ND40 WRs are a bit inexperienced like ND40 at a Dallas strip club but it wont matter. BUTTA WRs must make up for a mess at RB. BUTTA RB AP is out with the bye and that leaves a huge problem. ND40 by 15 and this is OUR PICK OF THE WEEK.

JOE LOUIS (5-3) -1 vs MM (5-3)
LAST MEETING: JOE 176, MM 173

Back in week 2, these two clubs scores a combined 349 points. JOE won by 3 in the best game weve had all season. Looking at the game this week, its going to be another great one. The winner could be a solid AP#2. MM is finally getting the attention it deserves. JOE is still winning and with QB BREES will always be feared. MM RBs Rice and Johnson are going to give JL fits. JL QB BREES will be going all day to WR Wayne. JL WR Chad Johnson will have to play well. The JL RB are a bit suspect especially RB Stewart. The winner is in great shape going to the 2nd half of the season. This will be a close game and as much as we felt like taking MM, we feel that JOE LOU will somehow pull this off. JL by 1

FLC (3-5) -6 vs ROSS (3-5)
LAST MEETING: FLC 101, ROSS 70

The first meeting between these two was a real dog of a game. A real slop fest. Kanye taunted ROSS the week prior to the game if you remember and FLC did get over on ROSS. This week Kanye has been quiet and we are not sure why. Red Oak still has faith in their team as they have improved considerably. It’s a huge game for both teams….4-5 sounds a lot betta then 3-6 as the teams are starting to separate in the standings. Both teams have a lot of firepower going compared to week 2. ROSS QB Brady is dangerous as usual. FLC picks up QB Hasselhoff and inserts him as the starter. The FLC WRs have a nice advantage over ROSS’ WR troop. FLC WRs Colston and Roddy should be huge and ROSS doesn’t have much to stop it. ROSS RB Phat Turner should have a big game. Its gonna be a high scoring game unlike week 2 with FLC edging it out by 2 FGs

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
KC (3-5) -3 vs TLIC (2-6)
LAST MEETING: KC 176, TLIC 134

What a huge game for TLIC. Not only beating their rival but starting the climb to rise from the basement. Although very comfy, the basement is cold and dry…..like Elizabeth Taylor. The Software is a mess and the relationship between KC and the Software is going south…..like Rihanna sitting in a car with Chris Brown. The GUT loves this game like Halloween candy one week later. Still great. This is a very interesting game. TLIC got blown out in the first meeting but this time around its going to be a lot closer. The TLIC backfield is as shaky as Ray Finkle going for the game winning kick…..LACES OUT DAN. KC must pounce on that and ride KC RBs Ronnie and Phat Jacobs to the Promised Land. KC QB Warner to WR Fitz could really kill TLIC but they haven’t been exactly on fire. The GUT says it’s a winnable game for TLC but KC will take it by 3.

AP PCS RANKINGS, WEEK 9

2009-11-03T19:29:00.002-06:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: Starting to break away from the field. This team is clearly the class of the league. Big game vs Butta this week. Serena is pregnant…..maybe

AP#2 MONTREAL: Back at AP 2. Big 5 point victory over TLIC. Huge showdown verses JOE LOUIS this week

AP#3: BUTTA: Three wins a row and the feeling of Butta Ball is back. The dominate force. Big game vs AP1 ND40.

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: Another win. They are hanging around. A win MM and they are back.

AP#5 KC BEES: Software is not talking to KC at all now. Software drunk on the cover of US magazine isn’t helping either

AP#6 FLC : Kanye is pumped for the game verses ROSS. Kayne hates Texas. FLC needs a win

AP#7 ROSS: Red Oak mayor guarantees a win vs FLC….and tells Red Oak Gazette that “Kayne is a craka. Not me”

AP#8 TLIC: A very tough 5 point loss and now must put a string of wins together. TLIC RB Slaton has left town. The basement is not quite as organized as the ND40 Basement bed and breakfast looked back in the day but its damn nice. Only thing is recliner is stuck in the reclined position and TLIC cant get out.

BUTTA PICKS WEEK 8

2009-10-29T22:22:00.002-05:00

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WHO’S HOT: BUTTA (W2)
WHO’S NOT: KC BEES(L2)

GAME OF THE WEEK
KC BEES -3 (3-4) vs BUTTA (4-3
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 112, KC 98

BUTTA won a horrible week one game. It was played in the mud in KC. This time around both teams are contending for a SB playoff spot. Both teams are on two different streaks. Two wins in a row for BUTTA. Two losses in a row for the SOFTWARE….and boy is the SOFTWARE getting crazy. Calling out KC, getting drunk, not having breakfast at Denny’s with KC…..its the usual behavior of the Software during a losing streak. BUTTA wouldn’t mind hiring a Serena of his own. He’d be getting some crazy love right now. This will be another grinding it out game. The WRs have become the strong point of both teams. If KC WR AJ is healthy KC gets the edge. BUTTA QB Aaron must have a big game. This one will be close but KC TE Dallas will be the difference. If KC loses THE SOFTWARE will be calling Andre Agassi for a little purchase of crystal meth.

JOE LOUIS (4-3) -1 vs FLC (3-4)
LAST MEETING: JOE 175, FLC 130

This is a monster game for FLC. Getting back to .500 would be huge after flirting with the TLIC basement a couple of weeks ago. JOE LOUIS could be getting just a little desperate. FLC and Kanye have been having a great week. Rolling in the minivan in N-ville and steak dinners with the Ville Mayor. We love that guy. JOE LOU QB Brees vs FLC QB Romo should produce lots of points. JL WR TO is back in action but we are not expecting much. The RBs will decide this one JL RB Marion and RB S-Jax vs FLC RB Darrren “FLC stole from TLIC” Sproles and RB Addai. In the end we give the slight edge to JOE LOUIS but this will be a high scoring affair. A whole lot of players going on MNF.

ND40 (5-2) -16 vs ROSS (3-4)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 165, ND40 139

THE BATTLE OF TEXAS is always a great matchup. In week 1, ROSS punked the present AP PCS #1 ND40. ROSS has come alive. Last weeks loss still hasn’t dampened the spirits of RED OAK. They have won 2 out of 3 and a win here puts them at .500. ND40 and Serena went to Mexico this week for a couple of days of snorkeling, parasailing and mad sex. What Dayna doesn’t know, wont hurt her but she is getting suspicious. ROSS has been hit by the Brady bye. Wrong time for that. Also, ROSS has WR Crabtree ready to go, The lineup is looking iffy but the RBs are strong as is TE Gonzo. #1 ND40 is looking ridiculously strong this week. ND40 RB Gore is back. ND40 QB Pimples is ready. ND40 RB MJD is geared up for ROSS. The pick of the week is ND40.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
MM (4-3) -2 vs TLIC (2-5)
LAST MEETING: MM 118, TLIC 90

The GUT has been eating a lot of Campbell’s Chunky Soup. Its cheap, it has a lot of sodium and it fills you up. The GUT feels like Ladainian Tomlinson. TLIC must win this game. Its not really a must win yet but they really need to win. MM RBs T-Jones and Chris Johnson will be tough to stop. TLIC brings RB LT and Slaton to the table and we think they finally to do something big. The GUT looks at this game and sees a possible upset. The TLIC lineup looks strong but will they follow through. The GUT says no bit it will be mighty close. If TLIC loses and goes to 2-6 they must win out to have any shot at SB playoff love.

AP PCS RANKINGS, WEEK 8

2009-10-26T21:36:00.003-05:00

AP#1 ND40: They are back on top after a huge victory over The Software. Serena is back on top as well. Its safe to say ND40 may not be able to get it up until week 8. That said, ND40 is AP1 and were headed to November here. Something special is brewing in North Texas.

AP#2 BUTTAFUOCO: Their highest regular season ranking in quite a while. Butta wants to hit the bars with The Software but KC will not allow it.

AP#3 MONTREAL: MM loses the AP1 ranking for now. The leagues most disrespected team is looking to hire a consultant such as a Serena or Kanye but the dont want to pay another high dolla salary.

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: They barely escape an upstart ROSS bunch. Big win for them.

AP#5 KC BEES: The Software and KC at odds again. Always after 2 losses in a row, The Software gets real mouthy, gets drunk and starts talking of ripping ownership way from KC. The Software reportedly called KC a dummy. "Im the ventriloquist and hes the dummy." This is such a Mike Tyson/Robin Givens relationship. Stay tuned. Im sure a big win next week and all will be well.

AP#6 FLC: TMZ.COM is reporting that Kayne left bodily fluids all over the TLIC basement after being still bitter over TLIC throwing his keys at him. FLC with their biggest win of the year.

AP#7 ROSS: A great effort for ROSS who is still in the thick of a great SB playoff race. Red Oak fans are as faithful and hopeful as ever. No brown bags. Just beards.

AP#8 TLIC: Just when he leaves, they bring him back in. 'They' is referring to one Matt Cassells. TLIC is back in the basement recliner. Unfortunatly, the Merry Maids had to come out to clean and one of them was a big Kanye fan. A bad week for TLIC

GUEST BUTTA PICKS by KC BEES

2009-10-23T00:17:00.002-05:00

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WHO’S HOT: ROSS (W2)
WHO’S NOT: FLC (L2)

GAME OF THE WEEK
KC BEES (3-3) -8 vs ND40 (4-2)
LAST MEETING: KC BEES 156, ND40 85
2008 SERIES:KC 2-0

This is the game of the week. KC is the league’s second highest scoring team, but needs a win to avoid moving to a losing record after last week’s lucky come from behind victory by the Red Oak Sea Snakes (no offense, Ross). ND40 is third in scoring in the league, and sits atop the league standings at 4-2 with Montreal. ND has a big QB advantage with Manning against the hapless Rams. KC’s WR corps of Fitzy and Johnson will be trouble for ND, who doesn’t field a single WR who would start in most 12 team leagues. KC also has the edge at RB with Cedric and Ronnie, although Gore could have a big day for ND. ND will try to ruin KC’s week with second straight MNF come from behind victory, but the Philly defense will fall short.

HAWKEYE COMPARISONS:
ND: Peyton Manning = Chuck Long
KC: Cedric Benson = Nick Bell

STAT ANALYSIS:

KC Bees ND40
Average weekly points 141.2 140.7
95% Confidence Interval on expected future point total 67-215 99-182

Pick: KC minus 8

MONTREAL (4-2) -1 vs BUTTA (3-3)
LAST MEETING: MONTREAL 184, BUTTA 139
2008 SERIES: MONTREAL 2-0

AP #1 MM is tries to avoid a letdown after a huge 200+ point week. Butta tries to jump above .500 with a win this week. Both QBs play against crappy teams, but Butta has the edge with Rodgers this week. MM’s WRs will come up big, though. Moss and Braylon will be solid, but Heinz will have a big day against the Vikes, and could be the difference in this matchup. All four starting RBs in this matchup are playing games away from home. Butta hopes to ride AP home to victory against a Pitt def, but Thomas Jones may be just enough for MM to sneak away with another “W” and stay at AP #1.

HAWKEYE COMPARISONS:
MM: Phillip Rivers = Mark Vlasic
Butta: Nate Kaeding = Nate Kaeding

STAT ANALYSIS:

MM Butta
Average weekly points 153.3 125.8
95% Confidence Interval on expected future point total 72-234 53-199

Pick: MM minus 2

ROSS (3-3) -10 vs JOE LOUIS (3-3)
LAST MEETING: JOE 148, ROSS 98
LAST SEASON SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

Ross comes in with the league’s longest winning streak (W2). JL tries to bounce back from a 90 point showing in Week 6. This matchup is the QB delight of the week: Brady vs. Brees. Both of these guys could ring up 70 fantasy points in a given week and are enough to be the difference in this matchup. We give the edge to Ross and Brady since they are up against a weak TB defense. JL will get a big game from WRs Wayne and Chad 85, and will need it due to Ross’ advantage at RB. If the QBs don’t go too crazy in this one, Ross’ RBs D’Angelo and Turner will be the difference in this matchup. As much as I hate to do this after Ross’ win over KC last week, I have to pick him to move to 4-3.

HAWKEYE COMPARISONS:
JL: Reggie Wayne = Quinn Early
Ross: Tony Gonzalez = Dallas Clark

STAT ANALYSIS:

JL Ross
Average weekly points 133.3 118.5
95% Confidence Interval on expected future point total 56-211 31-206

Pick: Ross minus 10

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
FLC (2-4) -1 vs TLIC (2-4)
LAST MEETING: FLC 133, TLIC 90
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-0

These two teams come in hungry for a win. The QB battle will be good with Eli vs. Favre. Eli will be solid; Favre is due for a return to the interception passer that we all know and love. He’s playing at Pitt and Troy Polamalu. The RB battle will be a pretty even one, with LT and Forte cancelling each other out. The difference in this matchup will be the WRs. Can Roddy and Colston outscore TLIC’s Jennings and Steve Smith (the other one)? We think they can. Both teams come in at 2-4; the only thing I can guarantee is that the loser will be in last place in the league. Edge to FLC.

HAWKEYE COMPARISONS:
TLIC: LaDanian Tomlinson = Ronnie Harmon
FLC: Eli Manning = Jim Hartlieb (both are little brothers to a better QB)

STAT ANALYSIS:

TLIC FLC
Average weekly points 123.2 116.2
95% Confidence Interval on expected future point total 75-171 86-146

Pick: FLC minus 1

AP PCS RANKINGS 10/20/09

2009-10-20T18:46:00.000-05:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 MONTREAL: The disrespected team hits AP PCS #1 beat from #1 ND40. MM caused ND40’s bedroom to be Serena-less at least for this week.

AP#2 ND40: With ND40 in Serena’s doghouse, he has gone back to watching porn titled, “Big Black Booty Attack 7”.

AP#3: KC BEES: With the devastating loss to ROSS, Software has considered rehab at KC’s request.

AP#4 BUTTA: BUTTAs best performance of the year. Reportedly called Favre to talk shizzle about TLIC.

AP#5 JOE LOUIS: BUTTAPICKS.COM predicted the loss but not the benching of QB Drew

AP#6 ROSS: Sea Snake FEVER is back in RED OAK. The town is lit up in team colors and clip on beards are on everyone. Even the rabbi’s and nuns in town are sporting.

AP#7 TLIC: As reported by TMZ.COM TLIC threw a set of keys at Kanye at a club. Duplicate basement keys.

AP#8 FLC: We are aren’t going to tell you what Kanye has done to the basement recliner. TLIC, FLC and Kanye living together is a VH-1 reality show in the making.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 6 (one guest pick by ND40)

2009-10-15T20:46:00.003-05:00

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W4)
WHO’S NOT: BUTTA (L2)

GAME OF THE WEEK
MONTREAL (3-2) -11 vs ND40 (4-1)
LAST MEETING: MONTREAL 145, ND40 135
2008 SERIES: MM 2-0

What in the name of Jimmy the Greek is going on with this Guest Butta pick? According to the Yahoo! matchup, ND40 oz. wins by three. Don’t be fooled, folks. ND40 at -3 is a sucker’s bet. It’s the kind of bet that causes FLC to give $20 to his co-worker heading to Vegas, confident in an ND40 oz. cover. It’s the kind of line that the I-O-W-A Hockeyes were getting the last two weeks. Seriously – Iowa – 21.5 against Arkansas State and -9 against Meatchicken? ND40 wishes he was in Vegas the last two weeks. He sucks at betting – just ask T who had to listen to him bitch and moan in St. Louis after losing very quickly in blackjack. But, ND40 oz. would have put money on both Arkansas State and the Cheatin’ Rodriguezes to beat the spread. And, he would have won.

But, back to the game analysis. ND40 oz. is very, very nervous. Serena has been placated the last four weeks with two low-stress wins and two games pulled out of the fire by Pimples Manning. Her love-making has been gentle, and she’s even been willing to cuddle afterwards. But, it ends this week. ND40 oz. is about to get exposed by a very solid Montreal Machine, and it’s going to suck coming home Sunday night. I’m thinking that Serena starts with the yelling, smashes a few tennis rackets on the floor, and threatens to jam tennis balls into areas of the anatomy not intended for such things. Then, she’ll call sister Venus, who will come at ND40 oz. like a spider monkey. It’s not like ND40 oz. can even soothe the sisters with highlights of the Miami Dolphins game and those wacky Wildcat plays – it’s a friggin’ bye week.

I think that Big Ben and Braylon Edwards make the difference in this game, as the other matchups are pretty even. Yes, ND40 oz. has Santonio in for the Steelers, but Big Ben loves his Hines, his Heath, and he’ll distribute the ball enough to keep Santonio from helping to dent MM’s score. The Braylon pickup is solid. How would you like to go from a horrible Cleveland team, where the winning quarterback just went 2-for-17, and A.J. Hawk’s wife’s brother is apparently selling his house. I don’t think that Braylon-to-the-Jets has exactly the same stature as when Randy Moss went to New England, but that’s going to be a very solid play for MM for the rest of the season.

ND40 oz. is playing with backups, who will probably have okay, but not great games. One wild card could be MJD against a terrible St. Louis team. Yahoo! is projecting big points, which generally don’t come to fruition unless you’re Pimples Manning this year. ND40 is intrigued by the first start of Kevin Jones. It’s not that he’s expecting greatness, but who knows?

It’s been a fun ride for ND40 oz. so far this year. ND40 oz. is hoping that the fans (and Serena) will remember the fact that the team is assured of a winning record in the first half of the season, and has managed to get through the first two weeks of October with W’s. Hopefully, the return of Pimples, a healthy Frank Gore, and Witten in Week 7 will mean good things in another huge game against KC.

BUTTA (2-3) -4 vs FLC (2-3)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 137, FLC 118
2008 SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

Kanye is conflicted. He really likes Butta and the way he rolls. He has nothing really bad to say this week. There was one problem though. On the flight back to Chicago, Kayne and FLC both flew first class together. Northwest Airlines with 6 connections if you must know. The flight attendant (airline waitress) was passing out hot towels after their terrible meal. The flight attendant proceeds to say, “Here is your towel, Mr Skerf.”. Kanye went off. Both FLC and Kanye verbally abused her like a Jim Hasslett/Aaron Brooks domestic situation. Both BUTTA and FLC have really had an up and down campaign this year. Its a battle of 2 and 3’s. The winner goes to .500 and still has eyes on the SB playoffs. The loser has some digging to do and has one foot in the TB playoff grave. Kayne went off on the step-dad last week as he had his FLCs back. The step-dad is defeated but has takin a liking to the East Coast rap scene. Step-dad has a new name . They call him ,“Ol’ Dirty Wanna-B Skerf Dawg”. Kanye is not sure what to think of that development. FLC QB Eli vs BUTTA QB Aaron is going to be the difference. Both RBs and WRs are really even in this matchup. This one rides on BUTTA TO wanna-be WR Marshall on MNF. Butta by 4.

KC BEES (3-2) -8 vs ROSS (2-3)
LAST MEETING: KC 129, ROSS 105
LAST SEASON SERIES: KC 2-0

The Red Oak faithful verses the SOFTWARE. How bout ROSS? A huge victory last week. Eye of Tiger. ROSS is at 2-3 and a win this week would create havoc in Red Oak. KC had yet another come from behind victory. They are sitting pretty and the SOFTWARE has really turned into quite the celebrity this year. TMZ.com is reporting that there is a XXX video circulating that shows Paris Hilton and The Software on vacation in Mexico. The two taped themselves having relations. The video is being dubbed, “Software Download In Paris”. KC is now in the middle of a public relations nightmare. KC is without TE CLARK and RB RONNIE. KC RB BENSON will be just fine though. KC WRs are dominate and will hurt ROSS like Clubber Lang hurt Rocky in the first fight. ROSS has a chance in this game though, folks. They just need to click on all cylinders. KC RB Phat Jacobs vs ROSS RB Ahmad “Don’t call me Rashad” Bradshaw. We love RB Ahmad and it’s a very interesting matchup verses the hefty KC RB Jacobs. Then, you have HEFTY ROSS RB Phat Turner, who we feel is turning the corner. How much can RB Jacobs, RB Turner and Oprah collectively eat? A lot. KC wins by 8 but ROSS is sneaky play here with a pissed off QB Tom.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
TLIC (1-4) -1 vs JOE (3-2)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 184, TLIC 152
LAST SEASON SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

TLIC in the GUT PICK again. Its like Captain with Coke, Peanut butter with da jelly, ND40 with Serena, Ol Dirty Wanna-B Skerf with an argument. The TLIC basement has the George Foreman heatin up every night. He even signed his name on it. JOE LOUIS has a little QB contro going on. QB Brees and QB Donovan arguing like school girls. Folks, believe it or not, GUT is having trouble with this one. The GUT thinks the JOEs look flat this week and TLIC is hungry…like the GUT at a Kansas City area BBQ. GUT says TLIC wins and causes a possible basement lease fiasco.

AP PCS RANKINGS headed into week 6

2009-10-12T23:13:00.002-05:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: If ND40 wanted Serena right now, she would do his laundry and rock his world every night. ND40 half way to a SCHERF CUP

AP#2 KC BEES: The Software may end up like River Phoenix after the celebrating this week. KC does not approve.

AP#3: MONTREAL: BUTTAPICKS.COM predicted the heartbreaker and it happened again to MM. This is a SB playoff type of team/

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: JOE surprised Butta. BUTTA lays and egg and JOE puts up big points to stay in contention.

AP#5 FLC: Kanye is really pissed and now wants a piece of the stepdad and the twin brother.

AP#6 BUTTA: BUTTA was downright pathetic this week and deserves a big nothing

AP#7 ROSS: Red Oak is alive again. People are talking. A win next week and they are back in it.

AP#8 TLIC: Well, the lease was canceled and TLIC is now comfy in the basement recliner.

butta picks, week 5

2009-10-09T23:24:00.002-05:00

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WHO’S HOT: ND40 (W3), MM (W2)
WHO’S NOT: ROSS (L3)

GAME OF THE WEEK
SCHERF BOWL XII
ND40 (3-1) -14 vs FLC (1-2)
LAST MEETING: FLC 140, ND40 115
2008 SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

2006-XVI- FLC 146, ND40 97
XVII-FLC 172, ND40 120

2007-XVIII- FLC 134, ND40 120
XIX- FLC 167, ND40 121

2008- XX- ND40 133, FLC 117
XXI- FLC 140, ND40 115

FLC HAS WON 3 SCHERF CUPS IN A ROW AND 5 OUT OF 6 SCHERF BOWLS.

ND40 vs FLC. Serena vs Kanye. What a matchup folks. ND40 Team Consultant Serena has been waiting for this for a long time. FLC Team Consultant and Hypeman Kanye has been relatively quiet about the battle until yesterday. “Serena is a gold digger. She aint lookin for no broke honkey’s. Get down girl, go head get down. She wants ND40s lavish life style and his classical music collection. She found out all the cd’s were alphabetized, she was like…Im getting me some pasty whitey action.” ND40 Serena came back, “I will shove these balls right down his throat, while pointing to a poster of ND40’s midsection”. FLC faces a AP PCS 1 ND40. Lots of pressure in N-ville right now. The ‘Ville mayor has declared this FLC/Kanye Diversity week. Except for RED OAK, North Texas has been celebrating the AP PCS ranking of ND40. Folks, ND40 is a freight train right now. Winners of 3 in a row. ND40 PIMPLES is a rock star. Hes playing as good as we’ve ever seen. ND40 Witten will have a big game. ND40 RB MJD hasn’t even been at his best. ND40 WR San Antonio will be big. You know where Im going. FLC has a lot stacked up against them. FLC RB Westy is back and if the upset is going to occur, FLC RB WESTY, FLC QB ROMO and TE CELEK must be on fire. Its an uphill climb for FLC this week in the granddaddy game of them all. ND40 runs away this one. Kanye is fired up for this one.

KC BEES (2-2) -2 vs MONTREAL (3-1)
LAST MEETING: KC 122, MM 121
2008 SERIES: KC 2-1

Folks, this is going be a classic game. Last year, it was a one-point game in the SB PLAYOFFS. This week we predict a heartbreaker for the loser. We predict a combined 300 plus point game. Big points in this one. MM is still unloved and underestimated. They keep winning. They are the lunch lady who cooks the incredible grilled cheese when you were in high school. You could eat 5 of those things but you never think about who cooked them. Who buttered the bread. Who grilled that bread to perfect crispiness? IT’S THE LUNCH LADY, MAN. On the other side, the SOFTWARE and KC are getting along,….although KC cant stand the sunglasses the software has been sporting….lime green, big frames. The guy thinks hes Elton Freaking John. You look at this matchup and we see points everywhere. Big matchup here is KC RB Ronnie vs MM RB Ray Ray. Whoever gets the edge wins the game. Folks, KC by 2 and another heartbreaker for MM.

BUTTA (2-2) -5 vs JOE (2-2)
LAST MEETING: JOE 103, BUTTA 51
LAST SEASON SERIES: JOE 2-0

Last years matchup featured the 51 point game from Butta. A new low for the BUTTAFUCO franchise. JOE LOUIS has been real quiet because they know everyone is gunning for them. Butta has a lot of talent on bye. So does JOE but Butta has done a better job of covering the holes. BUTTA BY 5

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
ROSS (1-3) -1 vs TLIC (1-3)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 128, TLIC 109
LAST SEASON SERIES: ROSS 2-1

Just what in the “wide world of sports” is going on here? ROSS is spiraling out of control after the week 1 victory. TLIC could be coming out of it. THE GUT is having much fun watching TLIC decorate the basement. Now, ROSS is in the GUT game for two weeks straight and that aint good. Red Oak had such high hopes for this year. Its only week 4, so both team have time to get there act together. Folks, the loser gets the basement all to themselves. A huge game for teams. The GUT is looking at this weeks lineups and feels gassy. ROSS RBs have been underachieving horribly. This week they finally breakout and beat TLIC in a low scoring GUT slugfest. This will be a real ugly game but one of these teams will GUT it out like OPRAH trying to eat that last funnel cake at the Illinois State Fair. ROSS, YES, ROSS BY ONE. Remember it’s the GUT picking…..not the braintrust at BUTTAPICKS.COM

AP PCS RANKINGS

2009-10-06T23:01:00.002-05:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 ND40: If ND40 wanted Serena right now, he could have her anyway possible. ND40 is AP1 in October. Its been a long time. SCHERF BOWL is next

AP#2 MONTREAL: They just keep winning. A big showdown vs The Software this week.

AP#3: KC BEES: Software says MM couldn’t wear his jock.

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: All of a sudden the defending champs look just normal. QB Brees on a bye.

AP#5 BUTTA: Just hanging around and now will watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 with TLIC.

AP#6 FLC: Kanye has guaranteed a win over AP1 ND40 in Scherf Bowl

AP#7 TLIC: Someone is ready to lease the basement out. Its clean and it has Jennifer Aniston posters everywhere

AP#8 ROSS: What is going on in RED OAK. Local papers is running contest predicting when ROSS will fire the front office. Winner gets clip-on beard that is now worth .43 at Dollar General.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 4 featuring THE DALLAS STARS ICE GIRLS

2009-10-01T20:48:00.003-05:00

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WHO’S HOT: ND40, KC (W2)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L5)

GAME OF THE WEEK
ND40 (2-1) -2 vs JOE (2-1)
LAST MEETING: ND40 166, JOE 115
2008 SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

AP2 vs AP3. If KC loses, this game is for AP1. These two teams have started off like freaking gangbusters. ND40 has won 2 straight and had a huge come from behind victory vs TLIC. JOE loses last weeks GOTW with QB Brees getting contained like Mel Gibson at a traffic stop or better yet like Butta in his work cubicle. ND40 goes 2-1 in September but now its October so temper your expectations for them. This is a great MATCHUP OF ND40 Peyton vs JOE QB Brees. We tend do think Peyton will overshadow Brees like Cher overshadowed Sonny. This is going to be a great game but in the end ND40 TE Witten makes the difference. Take ND40 by a safety. Serena is gonna plant a phat juicy one on ND after the victory.

BUTTA (2-1) -7 vs TLICIOUS (0-3)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 158, TLIC 101
2008 SERIES: BUTTA 3-0

Two of the league titans meet yet again. #1 AND #2 in overall wins and SUPA BOWLs. These days they are just mediocre. Well, TLIC has the de-humidifier going in the basement. BUTTA is winning ugly. Two new QB starters enter the fray. BUTTA QB CUTLER and TLIC goes back to QB CARSON. Both should have very high scoring afternoons. BUTTA RB AP goes on MNF so expect another nail biter for TLIC to endure on Monday. TLIC RB Slaton is off to a very slow start. BUTTA RB AP vs TLIC WR JENNINGS on MNF. TLIC keep inviting BUTTA to the basement to watch TV but Butta keeps declining. We have to give this one to BUTTA by a late RB AP TD on MNF.

KC (2-1) -3 vs FLC (1-2)
LAST MEETING: KC 129, FLC 115
LAST SEASON SERIES: SPLIT 1-1

AP1 cant take FLC lightly. FLCs lineup features two upstart WRs with lots of potential but they could flame out as well. That’s what youngsters do. Kanye canceled his world tour with Lady GaGa. Why is this noteworthy? FLC was pinned to be Kayne’s hypeman. This means FLC was going to leave his team behind for 3 weeks…ala ND40. FLCs biggest disappointment? His candlelight dinner with Lady GaGa. KC and Software rolled over JOE LOUIS. Now they must protect the PCS 1. This is a huge game for FLC as they cannot afford to go 1-3. The basement doesn’t have room for Kanye’s posse, Speaking of celebs, “THE SOFTWARE” just came out with his own clothing line. KC is weary of this. FLC QB ROMO has to play well this week to have a chance. However, we are not sold on KC QB Charles Shaub or WR Andre doing that much damage this week. Should be an outstanding game. We really think FLC will play well and definitely has a shot but we like KC who has a lot of Uncle Mo.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
MONTREAL (2-1) -16 vs ROSS (1-2)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 163, MM 122
LAST SEASON SERIES: 1-1

ROSS has to get it together. MM gets no respect. The Gut loves ROSS with all the tradition and incredibly hot women in RED OAK. The GUT loves the BBQ in RED OAK too. GUT just loves RED OAK. ROSS is going to have to scratch and claw to beat MM. The MM backfield of Pierre and Chris spell BIG BIG trouble for ROSS. As much as the GUT loves the fans of RED OAK, GUT is going MM by two TDS

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 4

2009-09-28T23:16:00.002-05:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 KC BEES: ND40 has a lot to say about this but KC is the #1 team in the country for now. KC knocks off JOE and ND40 employee Serena wants to stick a tennis ball down the SOFTWARE’s throat. Software and KC are best buddies for at least a week.

AP#2 ND40: It’s September and NO ONE circles the wagons in September like ND40.

AP#3: JOE LOUIS: QB Brees get shutdown.

AP#4 MONTREAL: They quietly win football games. If it wasn’t for the JOE comeback win last week, this team is unbeaten.

AP#5 BUTTA: Winning ugly in September again. Tlic invites BUTTA to the basement for some BBQ. Butta declines.

AP#6 FLC: Kanye tells QB Romo he’s terrible.

AP#7 ROSS: RED OAK fans are asking questions now. Where are QB Brady and RB Phat Turner? Some clip-on beards have appeared at Dollar Zone. Not a lot but some.

AP#8 TLIC: TLIC is getting no love from the fantasy football gods but he does get the WB in the basement. Taco Bell wrappers everywhere and lots of B-rated comedy sit-coms. Doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun.

BUTTA PICKS 3

2009-09-24T21:26:00.001-05:00

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WHO’S HOT: JOE LOU (W4)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L4)

GAME OF THE WEEK
KC (1-1) -7 vs JOU LOU (2-0)
LAST MEETING: JOE 141, KC 93 (SUPA BOWL X)
2008 SERIES: JOE LOUIS 3-0

REMATCH OF LAST YEARS SUPA BOWL. JOE LOUIS swept this series last year. These two went at it hard last year and now in week 3 we have the GOTW. The winner will be AP PCS #1 going into week 4. Not a better early season matchup in a long long time. TMZ is reporting that the “software” was seen in West Hollywood partying hard….and we are talking drugs, too. Software went out and bought new duds, bling, went clubbin and was reportedly snortin’ with Lohan. When asked about this, Software reps said, “Software is so pumped about the TLIC victory, that he flew to Cali for the NIGHT!” KC has no comment as he was home with the wife and kids playing scrabble. These two are the modern age Odd Couple. JOE LOUIS’ comeback in week 2 was one of the greatest comebacks in Pastygangsta Football History. Weve had other incredible comebacks in league history but this one will not be soon forgotten. An incredible game between MM and JOE last week. This week KC RB Benson gets the start. The KC QB HYVEE and WR FITZ will be better than JL QB BREES. JL RB STEWART gets the nod for JL and it will be up to him to win on MNF. Folks we like KC to win here and grab AP PCS 1 going into week 4.

ND40 (1-1) -14 vs TLICIOUS (0-2)
LAST MEETING: ND40 161, TLIC 116
2008 SERIES: ND40 2-0

Usually the basement team, gets the GUT PICK but this week we feel the basement team vs AP2 deserves honorable mention. Plus, a win here by TLIC and things can turn around in a hurry. ND40 was the TEAM OF THE WEEK last week with 180plus. This team is for real. Hiring Serena has paid off for ND40. Now, she wants a piece of ownership. Not so fast S-Will. Dayna will nix that faster than Oprah can body slam Steadman. TLIC has a lot of potential in this one. This thing falls on the shoulders of QB Trent. Hes gotta throw a lot. TLIC RB HIGHTOWER needs to be very active…..like the time he arrested those hooligans in the 2nd Police Academy. Oh, the laughs. If you don’t know Hightower like we do….heres a bio.

Hightower was a florist before joining the academy. He is best known for his immense stature and inhuman strength (Hightower practices for his driving test by ripping the front seat out of a compact car (a 1977 Honda Civic owned by Copeland), and steering comfortably from the back). However, he is the most soft-spoken of all the characters. Despite his gigantic size, Hightower has sometimes admitted that he lacks self-confidence, such as when he tells Mahoney that he has not driven a car since he was twelve years old, and fears failing out of the police academy as he will not pass the driving test. His character often breaks things or uses force to threaten the bad guys. Other examples of him using his strength were when he lifted up the practice squad car with Copeland inside, who had insulted his friend Hooks by calling her a "dumb fat jiggaboo". He can also drop easily into bad-cop mode, to gain the trust of crooks he's about to arrest. However, he too graduated from the academy with a decoration for bravery, and eventually made Lieutenant after wrestling an alligator in order to save Harris' life.

How TLIC trusts this guy, well never know. Rumor has it that, TE Hooks is looking to sign a deal with TLIC if things go further south. ND40 looks really strong is emerging as a top team. The RBs of Gore and MJD are going to tough. ND40 by 2 long TDs by QB Ryan

MM (1-1) -11 vs FLC (1-1)
LAST MEETING: FLC 159, MONTREAL 126 (3RD PLACE BOWL)
LAST SEASON SERIES: MM 2-1

Poor MM. How many times can they get punked after they put out a huge offensive performance? Not even record breaker MM RB C-JOHNSON could save them. FLC toyed with ROSS last week. Now, all we are hearing about is Kanye and FLC rolling through N-VILLE in the mini-van. Listen, if you are bouncing through N-VILLE it can only be a mini-van. Kanye doesn’t mind suburbia. We just want to know how many N-ville hot moms can fit in this ride. FLC is spent all his change on RB Sproles and now inserts him as the starter. FLC WR Johnny Knox is more Joliet than N-Ville. MM QB Rivers will face FLC Eli. Give the edge to Eli. FLC QB Romo has been benched as the world is turning against him. This will be our best, closest game of the week. MM just has to win this game after last weeks craziness. MM by 11.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
BUTTA (1-1) -6 vs ROSS (1-1)
LAST MEETING: ROSS 151, BUTTA 130
LAST SEASON SERIES: 1-1

The loser of this game is going to have some digging to do. If TLIC wins, the loser could very well be ready to at least lease out the TLIC basement. ROSS is reeling after the poor performance last week. This team will rely on QB Brady. The ROSS WRs are as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop. BUTTA….we mean, TEAM AP is just that. BUTTA RB AP runs the show. BUTTA QB RODGERS should finally breakout. If not, our man Cutler is waiting. BUTTA has some good matchups and with inconsistent ROSS WRS in the mix, the GUT has to go BUTTA.

AP PCS RANKINGS

2009-09-21T22:54:00.000-05:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 JOE LOUIS: Unreal

AP#2 ND40: Hands BUTTA a beating and is one away from the top spot. ND40 fans have forgiven. Gets a desperate TLIC next week.

AP#3: MONTREAL: MM gets beat on a last minute catch in another incredible game between JOE and MM. MM stays in the #3 spot. Favre gets benched again and thinks he can turn TLIC around. He wants out of MONTREAL. Stay tuned.

AP#4 KC: The software and KC were at Denny’s having coffee and grand slam breakfasts while laughing it up. These two and their love-hate relationship are about to land a VH1 reality show.

AP#5 FLC: Big victory over ROSS and Kayne says, “I told you so”

AP#6 ROSS: Red Oak faithful just see this as a speed bump but they better beat BUTTA next week or people will begin to talk. And in that town that could devastating. Kayne is hated in Red Oak

AP#7 BUTTA: A big drop in confidence in the Toilet Bowl champs. TLIC invites BUTTA over to the basement to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000. Butta declines.

AP#8 TLIC: TLIC put up a valiant fight vs KC. Now, 9 losses in last 10 games. TLIC has finally gotten rid of all of ND40s trash out of the basement. Now, there are Tiffini Amber Thiessen posters everywhere. The ND40 Bed and Breakfast Basement is now officially out of biness.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 2

2009-09-18T20:29:00.002-05:00

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WHO’S HOT: JOE LOU, BUTTA (W3)
WHO’S NOT: TLIC (L3)

GAME OF THE WEEK
MM (1-0) -2 vs JOU LOU (1-0)
LAST MEETING: JOE 122, MONTREAL 120
2008 SERIES: 1-1

AP1 and AP3 going at it in week 2. THIS is OUR GAME OF THE WEEK. After MM QB FAVRE whined long enough MM gave in and is thus the starter in vs JOE LOU. Lets face facts folks, MM QB FAVRE will be throwing against a high school DEF this week much like the one he was working out with in Mississippi. The kicker is…will he throw a pass over 10 yards because he sure didn’t in week one. MM QB Favre will have a game that is good enough to beat JOE LOU. This week JOE LOU QB BREES will be presented with more of a challenge. He’ll still put up the numbers but not 66 points. JOE LOU WR REG will cause MM major problems. JOE LOU WR GINN JR. is a bust who is afraid to get hit. MM WR RANDY is gonna go gangsta on JOE LOU. The running games will be big in this one. MM RB JOHNSON is due for a game. JOE LOU RB BARBER and STEVEN have the potential for big numbers but they wont. We are taking MM in a slight upset. MM QB Favre will think hes cool after this one

KC (0-1) -13 vs TLICIOUS (0-1)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 127, KC 120
2008 SERIES: 1-1

This is a big game in WEEK2 already. THE loser is most likely in charge of decorating the Bed and Breakfast basement that ND40 built a few years back. This is a rematch of arguably the best SUPA BOWL we’ve ever had. TLIC RB LT is on the rack already and its week 2. FLC stole Sproles and now TLIC is scrambling. Cant wait for the FLC-TLIC matchup. KC QB HYVEE WARNER AND WR FITZ should have better games this week. KC RB Portis is another guy who will rebound. BUTTA WR favorite…… TLIC WR SMITH is going to have a hard time with a bum as a QB. Out of nowhere, TLIC picks up QB TRENT and will throw him into game action. With the absence of TLIC RB LT, RB FREDDIE will have to play above and beyond. Folks, TLIC has lost 8 out of last 9 and we feel it will be 9 out of 10. KC wins by a health serving of Vine wings……..with a 2 hour wait………but its ok because we had salads.

BUTTA (1-0) -2 vs ND40 (0-1)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 146, ND40 92 (TOILET BOWL)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-1

TOILET BOWL 2009 REMATCH. This….. always a classic matchup. ND40 is back from Paris and now the fans demand he be on the field coaching for this one. ND40 has hired Serena Williams as a consultant. ND40 tagged Serena as a “Referee Consultant” and also his “Personal Assistant………Beotch” which has Dayna suspicious. BUTTA barely wins in week 1 with a lackluster team effort except for RB AP. ND40 RB tandem of RB MJD and FRANK will be very good this week. The key for ND is whether WR TO can put up some numbers. That would put them over the top. BUTTA RB AP is apparently the whole team.. BUTTA QB Rodgers must prove his worthiness as a 3rd pick to put up some points. For BUTTA WR Calvin must be a man. This will be a close game but we expect BUTTA to go 2-0. It will be a close game with high point totals.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
ROSS (1-0) -7 vs FLC (0-1)
LAST MEETING: FLC 142, ROSS 108
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-0

The GUT had HYVEE CHINESE today and is feelin it. ROSS has UNCLE MO in his corner. The clip-on beards are selling $39.66 at RED OAK WALMART. Last year, we hear they were in the bargain bin at the RED OAK Dollar Store. AND as reported by buttapicks.com news sources, FLC paid Kayne West to sabotage the RED OAK town celebration after the big victory last week. Kayne took the stage as a RED OAK equipment manager took the podium. KW grabbed the mic and said, “Its was a great win for you guys but FLC is much better. Did you watch FLC last week? Later”. FLC denies this but Kayne and FLC roll in Chi-town. The GUT loves this game like Lady GaGa like she likes the pen-is. ROSS has QB BRADY and a ton of momentum. FLC has Kayne so it’s a tough call for the GUT. GUT sees ROSS going 2-0.

2009-09-15T17:47:00.002-05:00

AP PCS POLL

AP#1 JOE LOUIS: Looks like they are picking up where they left off. Good thing BUTTA drafted QB Brees and WR Wayne

AP#2 ROSS: We are telling you. RED OAK is buzzing about this team. Off to a flying start. Not used to living away from Bed and Breakfast Basement. Kayne flying to Red Oak to stop the happiness.

AP#3 MONTREAL: Has an upset QB Favre riding the bench. MONTREAL has turned things around with a great season last year and a nice start this week.

AP#4 BUTTAFUOCO: This team is all about RB AP who single-handedly beat KC (and the software). Butta QB Cutler on thin ice.

AP#5 ND40: The world traveler comes home to a loss and fans want answers. Losing to Texas rival ROSS is a tough start. ND40 WR TO wants more action and already wants ND to be on his VH1 show “THE TO SHOW”. ND40 declined.

AP#6 FLC: Ran into JOE LOU again. Better days ahead

AP#7 KC: KC wants answers from the software. Software wont answer cell phone.

AP#8 TLIC: 8 losses in last 9 games and fans rather stay home and watch MTV VMAs. TLIC hires additional ticket reps to boost ticket sales.

BUTTA PICKS 2009, WEEK 1

2009-09-09T22:21:00.002-05:00

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WHO’S HOT: JOE LOU, BUTTA (W2)
WHO’S NOT: MM, TLIC (L2)

GAME OF THE WEEK
ROSS (0-0) -2 vs ND40 (0-0)
LAST MEETING: ND40 115, ROSS 111 (TB Semifinals)
2008 SERIES: ND40 3-0

The battle of Texas is back……….or should I say Paris. While ND40 is frolicking in Paris there is a football game to be played. In fact, the ND40 faithful isn’t pleased with their absentee owner. ROSS on the other hand is ready for 2009. ROSS fans have a gleam in their eye. Some are sensing a dream season. The beards are out in full force…not paper bags. Last season, ND40 dominated ROSS like Chris Brown dominates Rihanna. It was just ugly. ROSS is pumped. ROSS is excited about QB Brady. He will turn him loose against ND40 QB Peyton. Peyton still remembers when ND40 traded him for a snickers bar and a ball bag to Butta. This could be a developing story all year. This matchup will down to both teams talented RBs. ND40 RB MJD and RB Gore vs ROSS studlies RB Phat Turner and RB Beverly DeAngelo. We give the edge to ROSS in a close, very fun battle. ROSS is one WR away from being a top team in the league. ND40….well…hes in Paris…..isnt that a porn?

KC (0-0) -4 vs BUTTA (0-0)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 171, KC 164
2008 SERIES: 1-1

The TB Champion vs the SB runner-up. The software is back and has his hands on the controls. He isn’t at odds with KC yet…but this is always a developing story. BUTTA took RB AP with the first pick in the draft but is nervous about it. BUTTA starts out slow every season, so the fans aren’t expecting fireworks in week 1. The KC WRs of AJ and Fitz are nails and will give BUTTA fits. BUTTAs WRs are tossups and they need WR Gonzo to have a big game. The KC RBs (Ronnie and Phat Jacobs) are hit or miss as well. We are going with the QB Warner to WR Fitz connection. KC by 4…..

TLIC (0-0) -3 vs MM (0-0)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 141, MM 141
LAST SEASON SERIES: TLIC 1-0-1

These two teams tied last year with 141. Damn. MM was the class of the league last year but fell short in the SB playoffs. TLIC rattled off 7 losses in their last 8 games to end the season. This year Tlic loves the Bengals. QB Carson and WR Henry……still waiting for a trade to bring in WR OCHO-FVCKO. We like TLIC because MM doesn’t have their lineup set. Really dough, TLIC RB LT, TE GATES and WR Jennings are going to go gangsta all over the place. Actually, we love TLIC WR Henry this week. TLIC by trey

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
FLC (0-0) -7 vs JOE (0-0)
LAST MEETING: JOE 166, FLC 162 (SB Semifinal)
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-1

OHHHH, the gut is still hurting from DRAFTWEEKEND. This game features two top teams from last year. They met in the SB semifinals last year and it was a classic 166-162 game. FLC won the series though. In this tilt, FLC needs RB WESTY in a big way. If FLC RB Westy can be the WESTY we know, FLC looks like a genius. JOE has QB Brees yet again. The defending champ will need him to put up 40+. The gut really likes this game. It will be a high scoring affair much like the governor and Argentina broad. A great rematch of the playoff game we saw last year. The GUT goes with FLC in another game in the 160’s by both teams.

Island Golf

2009-09-06T14:20:00.002-05:00

Yahoo Stattracker is free this year

2009-07-03T15:32:00.000-05:00

http://sports.yahoo.com/fantasy/blog/roto_arcade/post/Yahoo-Fantasy-Football-09-Free-live-scoring-a?urn=fantasy,174179

Priceless

2009-03-25T18:57:00.001-05:00

My understanding is that this kid was an intern and he was inserted into the broadcast at the last second when the regular sports guy failed to show up. He is probably scarred for life now.

DRAFTWEEKEND 2009 ANNOUNCEMENT

2009-03-08T20:26:00.002-05:00

August 28th through 30th. Iowa City

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more details coming soon

2009 DRAFT ORDER

2008-12-23T22:20:00.001-06:00

1. BUTTA (TB CHAMP)
2. ND40
3. ROSS
4. TLIC
5. MONTREAL
6. FLC
7. KC BEES
8. JOE LOUIS (WORLD CHAMPION)

BUTTA PICKS, PCS BOWL FINAL EDITION

2008-12-17T00:27:00.003-06:00

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WHO’S HOT: KC BEES, JOE LOU, BUTTA, ND40
WHO’S NOT: MM, TLIC

SUPA BOWL X

PREVIOUS SUPA BOWL RESULTS

SUPA BOWL I Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 177, T-licious 170 (1999)
SUPA BOWL II Results- Buttafuoco Stallions 207, Usual Suspects 138 (2000)
SUPA BOWL III Results- T-licious 166, Red Oak Sea Snakes 89 (2001)
SUPA BOWL IV Results- KC Bees 144, T-licious 138 (2002)
SUPA BOWL V Results- North Dallas40 156, T-licious 99 (2003)
SUPA BOWL VI Results-Buttafuoco Stallions 164, North Dallas40 96 (2004)
SUPA BOWL VII Results-Buttafuoco Stallions 169, Montreal Machine 131 (2005)
SUPA BOWL VIII Results- T-licious 139, Red Oak Sea Snakes 117 (2006)
SUPA BOWL VIV Results- Fun Lovin’Criminals 153, Buttafuoco Stallions 146

SUPA BOWL X
#3 JOE LOUIS LIONS (9-6) -14 vs #4 KC BEES (9-6)
SEASON SERIES: JOE LOUIS 2-0

KC makes it back to the big one. You have to go back to 2002 when KC beat TLIC on a last second TD to win SUPA BOWL IV. Was ‘the software’ even around then? I don’t even think it was born yet. The Software has been looking up “escorts” in South Beach during Supa Bowl week and KC is not amused. KCs 2002 Championship was their only SUPA BOWL appearance. JOE LOUIS has taken the league by storm. Last year, they win the regular season title. This year they have a shot to bring home the 8 lb trophy to Prairie City, Iowa.

JL QB Brees vs KC QB Hyvee is huge. You just cant bet against Brees. This is gonna be quick and simple, you gambling degenerates. JOE LOU has the game won at the RB position. JOE RBs Phat Turner and Ronnie will be too much for the KC backs and this will bring the trophy to PRAIRIE CITY. Man, I hope I’m wrong. FLC, get ready for UPS shipment to Prairie City. JOE FREAKING LOUIS by 14

HEARTLAND INN HEARTBREAK BOWL: 3RD PLACE GAME
#2 FLC (8-7) -2 vs #1 MONTREAL (9-5-1)
SEASON SERIES: MONTREAL 2-0

This game leaves us with a bad stomach ache. Poor MM with all the notoriety, their deportation back to Canada….the one point loss. The dream season came down to one ‘friggin’ point. Its sad and the league hurts for them. Then you have F to the L to the C. Naperville’s dirty birds get beat by a few in a high scoring love fiesta. FLC TE Boss has been yelling “laces out Dan” for 48 hours straight. The Abercrombie and Fitch Store in Naperville is flying their FLC flags at half staff. Dude, Im sad for these two teams. A horrible way to fall. They both had great campaigns. Its like what Gov Blago says, “I’ve got this thing, and it’s bleeping golden”. Dude, it “WAS” bleeping golden.

This is an excellent game. Two really really good teams. Looking at their lineups you can see why they were AP1 and AP2. We wont use logic here. Just hunches. MM has been going south the past few weeks. They lose to ROSS…then last weeks tragedy. FLC is the hotter club putting up bigger points and losing pretty last week and all year for that matter. FLC QB Cutler will be strong and MM QB Rivers has a tough game ahead. FLC De Angelo is on fire. We just are not sure what to make of MM RB T-Jones this week. WRs are a wash at this point but we favor FLC. FLC by 2 and they get the 5th or 6th draft pick. GREAT SEASON BY BOTH TEAMS.

TOILET BOWL X

PREVIOUS CHAMPS
1999- Red Oak Sea Snakes
2000- KC Bees
2001- SteelCurtain
2002 – Montreal Machine
2003---Red Oak Sea Snakes
2004---KC Bees
2005---TLicious
2006---KC Bees
2007—T-licious

#2 BUTTA (8-7) -7 vs #1 ND40 (8-7)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

BUTTAs 1st TOILET BOWL ever. BUTTA is all of a sudden one of the hottest teams in the league. ND40 is now a record 5-0 in first round TB games. They are 0-4 in the TOILET BOWL. Doesn’t look real good for them. FIRST OVERALL PICK AT STAKE.

This is an old rivalry game and these two have had great matchups in the past. This one will be decided on MNF in front of millions. Crazy things have happened between BUTTA and ND40 on MNF. This will be no different. ND40 RBs AP and Slaton verses BUTTA RBs Action Jackson and Lucky Pierre Thomas will be big. This will be a high scoring, old school love fest. We’ll go with ND40s horrible TB record and take BUTTA by 7

GUTTER BOWL: 7th PLACE GAME: 3rd pick overall
#3 TLICIOUS (4-10-1) -12 vs #4 ROSS (4-11)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

Just a disaster for both teams this year. This game is just wrong in so many ways. Both were AP7 and AP8 for most of the later half of the season. Now they play for the OVERALL AP7. This is like the Weedeater Bowl without the eater. Both should be smoking weed instead of playin this game. They would be better off. Hey, we gotta play this game with a 3rd pick at stake.

We are tired and like these two teams its time to go to bed. BUTTA PICKS is done for the 10th year and its been a doozy. Its been a fun season. A season as close as any other between AP1 and AP6 (sorry again TLIC and ROSS). Thanks for everyones help chipping in and Im looking forward to AUGUST 2009. GOOD NIGHT NOW.

…….OH and as for the winner of this game, there is no winner

-------OK, TLIC by 12 (don’t pick RB LT with the 3rd pick overall in 2009)

BUTTA PICKS, ROUND ONE PLAYOFF EDITION

2008-12-10T00:31:00.001-06:00

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WHO’S HOT: FLC W3
WHO’S NOT: Nobody

SUPA BOWL PLAYOFFS
AP1 MM (9-4-1) -2 vs AP4 KC BEES (8-6)
SEASON SERIES: 1-1

Hot damn. MM is having a season that no one thought was possible, not even the software. The regular season champ is 1-3 in the SB playoffs with one trip to the Supa Bowl. First time they have been here since 2005. KC BEES/SOFTWARE are right back where they left off last year. They got beat by FLC in the round one. KC is 5-3 in the SB PLAYOFFS with ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.

Folks, this game comes down to KC QB Hyvee Warner and WR Fitzy. KC desperately needs RB Barber in the lineup. Its up in the air and we wont know until gametime. MM is well balanced and RB Forte and Jones have done it for them all year….and they will this week. KCs RBs Hightower and LJ better bring it. The KC WRs not counting Fitz are ehhh. MM QB Rivers and WR Roddy will be big. MM has all the love this year. It will be close but MM will go the BIG ONE. The software is going to be pissed at KC until Aug 2009…..and then the software will be pissed again. We’ll see what effect the ROSS game had on ol MM. MM by 2

AP2 FLC (8-6) -1 vs AP3 JOE LOUIS (8-6)
SEASON SERIES: FLC 2-0

FLC was a monster down the stretch, rising to AP2 in the very last week. The defending champ was a laughing stock until last year. All of a sudden they are in great position to do it again. FLC is 4-2 in SBP play with ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP. JOE LOUIS has taken the league by storm since joining us in 2007. They are 1-1 in the SB playoffs.

Not only is this a big game, it’s the GAME OF THE WEEK. Two evenly matched teams. FLC QB Cutler vs JOE QB Brees. Damn, it don’t get better than that. FLC WR Andre vs JOE WR Randy. FLC RB DeAngelo vs JOE RB Phat Turner. Its crazy. Then, JOE WR Calvin vs FLC WR Colston. The list goes on and on. The winner comes down to FLC RB Lendale vs JOE RB Ronnie…….for some reason we like RB Lendale. This will be a nail biter till the end. FLC will need the MIA DEF to come through and they will….oh, they will. FLC by 1

TOILET BOWL PLAYOFFS

#1 ND40 (7-7) -4 vs #4 ROSS (4-10)
SEASON SERIES: ND40 2-0

Oh, THE BATTLE OF TEXAS is headed to round 3. ND40 had an up and down campaign and get the #1 seed in the TBP. ND40 is 4-4 in the TB PLAYOFFS and get this…..0-4 in the TOILET BOWL. 2 of the losses vs TLIC. So, if they make it to the BOWL, they’ll probably blow it again. ROSS had a rough go at it this year but the fans have stuck by them. ROSS is a bit of a Toilet legend. ROSS is 6-7 (1 bye) in TBP action. ROSS has 2 TOILET BOWL CHAMPIONSHITS.

When ROSS has RB Westy playing well, they are a scarier football team. ND40 must be a aware of this. ROSS QB Jason and WR Santana could be in for a solid week and there is no reason they cant match ND40 QB Rodgers and WR Jennings……although weather could be a factor for ROSS QB Jason. ND40 RB AP should really light it up but a change of QB for Minn could hurt Mr. All Day. ROSS WR Boldin is stud to be reckoned with and he’ll be big this week. The matchup of ROSS RB Leon vs ND40 RB Slaton is a game decider. Were going with Slaton. ND40 by 4………Could be ND40s record 5th TOILET BOWL appearance.

#2 BUTTA (7-7) -9 vs #3 TLICIOUS (4-9-1)
SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

Wow. BUTTA vs TLIC in the TB PLAYOFFS. Usually they meet in the upper division playoff but this will be good anyway. BUTTA has never played in a TOILET BOWL game. Their playoff record speaks for itself though (13-5). TLIC is starting to get use to this here sh!thouse. Last year they won it all. Two years before that they did it again. TLIC is 5-1 in the TB PLAYOFFS with 2 TOILET BOWL CHAMPIONSHITS. That is very successful bathroom etiquette.

Butta is red hot in their last 4 outings. TLIC comes off a big win over KC. Butta has TLICs number the past 2 years and well…..it aint looking good again. BUTTA QB Pimp is going to make WR Harri feel like hes 25 again. TLIC WR Reggie who? BUTTA WR Smith is an animal. BUTTA TE John Carlson was on WKRP in Cincinnati. BUTTA RB Steven and RB Chris Johnson are primed for big games. TLIC QB Ryan will be big and so will WR Brandon. The only way TLIC wins is if TLIC RB LT figures out how to put up his 2006-2007 type numbers. Otherwise, fogetahbowtit. BUTTA will head to different championship game this year. BUTTA BY 9

AP PCS, Regular Season Final

2008-12-08T23:02:00.004-06:00

AP1 MONTREAL: They backed into the playoffs but they are the team to beat. Its a dream season so far

AP2 FLC: Amazing come from behind win in Week 14 to lock up #2 seed. The defending champs are red hot and the Naperville is oozing with confidence and a little arrogance.

AP3 JOE LOUIS: A rematch set next week with FLC

AP4 KC BEES: The software is a little miffed at KC for the fall to AP4. KC just cant please this power hungry program. They get a tough matchup with MM

AP5 ND40: Met a surging Butta team. Now the battle of Texas vs a sneaky ROSS and Westy.

AP6 BUTTA: Red hot coming into the TB playoffs, their first ever.

AP7 TLIC: A nice win over KC but they have been having trouble with Butta, their 1st round matchup

AP8 ROSS: Believe it or not, Red Oak is happy after a nice finish and whipping AP1 MM. Now expect a sold out crowd with clip-on beards vs ND40. Things are looking up for 2009.

And hockey guys get hot chicks, FLC PICKS, WEEK14

2008-12-03T16:28:00.005-06:00

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Did someone mention “sloppy seconds”? Why-oh-why is Sean Avery so misquoted? Of course he was simply talking about those great Thanksgiving leftovers that get a bit messy after 5 days in the ‘fridge. Me thinks the NHL needs to turn down the sensitivity-o-meter just a tad. At least Avery didn’t McSorley someone.

The usually reliable Buttapicks was a bit sloppy ourselves last week: we hit 2 and we missed 2. But, we were really, really close on last week’s “Gut Pick” (KC vs. Ross line -25; actual -24). Because we tried really, really hard and we came so very close to making you mo’ money, we would please ask that the angry phone calls to our offices stop. You guys know who you are. We just hired a pretty li’l gal this week who joined us after a stint with the Big 12 offices in Dallas. She got so tired of hearing “f#*%*ng idiots!”, “good for nothin’ sh!tbags” and “no talent @ssclowns!” that she had to find a new job and she ended up at Buttapicks. Let’s not make her 1st week on the job a bad one. We like how she takes dictation and she’s got magic fingers. Plus, we promise to be extra good in our picks this week. Let’s roll!

WHO’S HOT: MM W2 (and 3 of 4), FLC W2
WHO’S NOT: TLIC L5 (winless in last 8), ROSS L3 (and 4 of 5)

THE GAME OF THE WEEK
AP3 JOE LOUIS (8-5) -15 vs AP4 FLC (7-6)
LAST MEETING: FLC 146, JOE 101

This is THE game of the week. It’s like that little university that’s located in Columbus, Ohio. No, it’s not Ohio State University: it’s THE Ohio State University. You know: the place that produces athletic teams that can’t clinch THE national championship time and time again. But, enough Buckeye hatred. This one is simple folks: if FLC wins, they’re in the “real” playoffs. If Joe Louis wins, they can make a case for AP #2 and home field advantage in the Pasty Gangtaz playoffs (and, you just can’t minimize home field advantage in fantasy football).

Give the advantage to JL in the rematch. In Week 7, JL’s QB Brees had an off day against a strong Carolina Panthers “D”. In Week 14, Brees faces an Atlanta “D” that gives up a lot of passing yards. In addition, look for JL’s “D” of Pittsburgh to score more points than JL got out of Dallas’ “D” in Week 7. FLC has had to make a major change at the RB position. FLC replaces workhorse Portis with LenDale White who is up against a Cleveland rush defense that is 26th in the league. However, White is also up against his own teammate Chris Johnson in terms of touches so it’s not a clear move in terms of payoff for FLC. While FLC looks to have a good line-up of WR’s going this week, the combination of JL WR Randy Moss against Seattle’s “D” (league worst 265 yards passing against) and JL RB Michael Turner against a generous Saints’ “D” gives JL the edge.

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MS. GONGENIALITY GAME OF THE WEEK
AP5 ND40 (7-6) +7 vs AP6 BUTTA (5-4)
LAST MEETING: ND40 141, BUTTA 119

Don’t be hatin’ Buttapicks. This game is good: it just didn’t look as good in the evening gown competition. But, there are important implications in this match-up, especially if FLC falters at the finish line. ND40 needs a “W” like a post-Clinton White House keyboard needed a “W”. Butta needs a “W” like Iowa Hawkeye freshman forward Andrew Brommer needs free throw shooting lessons. We’re actually not sure what a “W” gives Butta: home field advantage for the 1st round of the Toilet Bowl? A win by Butta (by silly points) + huge underperformances by both FLC and ND40 could put Butta in the “real” playoffs. We calculate the odds at somewhere between “slim” and “none” (similar odds to whether Lois Feldman was drugged at the Metrodome and ‘forced’ to…ummm…engage in various sex acts with a stranger in the men’s restroom, while onlookers cheered them on).

The computers say that both QB’s could have monster days on Sunday but Buttpicks.com disagrees. While ND40 QB Rogers performed well during a Week 7 match-up against Indy, Tom Skilling from WGN sez “don’t forget your booties because it’s cold in Green Bay on December 7”. Give the edge in the QB position to Butta during Week 14 as Pimples Manning goes against the Bungles while QB Rogers has to deal with a high temp predicted to be no more than 20 during the Packers game against Houston. We also like Butta’s WR’s this week: Steve Smith, T.O. and Donald-Duck-Driver could be big while ND’s WR line-up will likely be more “miss” than “hit”. ND40 is going with the savvy move of picking up and playing the “your-former-#1-receiver-is-hurt-and-shot-hisself-in-the-leg-with-a-Glock-.40-so-his-azz-is-grass-and-now-I’m-the-#1” WR. While ND40 definitely has an advantage at RB (Slaton could get lots of touches at a cold weather Lambeau), Butta’s combination of K Bironas and Indy’s “D” against Cincinnati could provide the difference. Yes, I said it: a kicker could make the difference.

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AP2 KC BEES (8-5) pick’em vs AP7 TLIC (3-9-1)
LAST MEETING: KC 141, TLIC 92

KC and the Sunshine Computer Band getting’ no love from fellow Pasty Gangstaz this week: despite an 8-5 record, at least 2 PG’s feel KC will miss the “real” playoffs. Perhaps KC’s total points (currently 5th in the league) is casting some doubt? KC can erase all doubt with a pounding of TLic [insert Lois Feldman joke here…actually you can insert an “insert Lois Feldman…” joke here too] this week. Meanwhile, TLic is riding out [Feldman joke goes here] the season. After boarding the SS Minnow for what the team thought was going to be a 3-hour tour, TLic instead finds themselves stranded on a desert island. And, there’s no Ginger. There’s no Mary Ann. There’s no Lois Feldman. Heck, there’s not even a Mrs. Howell. TLic is gearing up for Toilet Bowl ’08 and the coveted #1 draft pick which led to so much glory this season. Oh…wait…scratch that.

KC put a hurtin’ on TLic in Week 7 but Buttapicks just doesn’t see it happening again. In fact, the Week 14 match-up is so close, we’re going all-chicken sh!t and calling this game a pick’em. Call us yellow. Call us cowards. We don’t care. Just don’t call us next week looking for an extension on your payment to us.

Both QB’s will be silly this weekend: Cassel should rebound from a clunker against a poor Seattle “D”. Meanwhile, Hy-Vee Warner is going to light up St. Louis like a Kennedy pre-Christmas party. Or, a Britney Spears pre-surprise-wedding night in Vegas. You guys go with the analogy that works for you. We also think the WR match-ups are even, with each wideout holding an advantage over every pass defense they face. While TLic holds a sizable advantage in the team Defense category (Baltimore vs. Chicago’s “D”), KC holds a sizable advantage in the TE department (Tony G. vs. Dustin [“don’t call me Diamond”] Keller). It’s just too close to call folks…so, we won’t. Bwawk, bwawk.

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GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP1 MONTREAL (9-3-1) -14 vs AP8 ROSS (3-10)
LAST MEETING: MM 138, ROSS 97

The gut thought it was finished after last Thursday night. After the 4th glass of Shiraz (to help wash down the 2nd slice of Aunt Beth’s pecan pie), the gut was tired. The gut was bloated. The gut was flabby and all tore up. But, the gut is back and it likes the Week 14 match-up of Montreal vs. ROSS.

Conventional wisdom would tell you that Montreal would coast in Week 14. After all, Montreal is the regular season champ and has nothing to play for. But, Buttapicks sees an intriguing match-up nonetheless. It’s going to be tough sledding for Montreal at the RB position as Bears’ RB Forte faces a pissed off Jaguar “D” and Thomas Jones goes against a better-than-average 49ers rush “D”. Meanwhile, ROSS has got decent match-ups against team defenses at the WR and RB positions (nice to see Westbrook back in a ROSS line-up). For Montreal to cover the spread, it’s going to come down to 2 positions: QB and team defense. Philip Rivers could have a great day against the Raiders and Tennessee could have a great day against a Cleveland offense whose field general is now…Ken Dorsey? However, the Raiders are horrible against the run and Rivers may simply give the ball to L.T. And, Cleveland could be really, really good and put up huge numbers against the Titans and…wait…no…that won’t happen. Never mind.

Team ROSS could make this one close if QB Roethlisberger shakes off a so-so performance against the Patriots and really sticks it to Dallas. The Cowboys have a top 10 defense but have shown themselves to be rather inconsistent throughout the 2008 season (witness back-to-back October losses to Arizona and St. Louis). Although Roethy will be the better QB this weekend, the gut still likes Montreal and likes them by 2 touchdowns.

That’s it. Sit back, set the recliner to “chill” and enjoy another great weekend of football. Remember: at Buttapicks, we don’t make the product…we make the product better.

AP PCS WEEK 14

2008-12-02T00:20:00.002-06:00

AP#1 MONTREAL: Regular season champs for the first time ever. Canada has never been more proud. Plaxico will have to watch playoffs from jail cell.

AP#2 KC BEES: The software guarantees a win next week

AP#3 JOE LOUIS: Filing complaint against the PCS. Thinks they should be AP2

AP#4 FLC: High point total will come in handy next week. N-ville ready to defend the title.

AP#5 ND40: Must beat Butta for any shot at the "better 4 playoff"

AP#6 BUTTA: Buttas worst season ever but could be .500 with a win over ND40.

AP#7 TLIC: A season to forget. Already talking to QB Brees about next year. JOE claims tampering

AP#8 ROSS: Red Oak wants the TOILET BOWL Title. The beards are out in full force

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 13

2008-11-25T22:25:00.001-06:00

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Lots of craziness going on. FLC, ND40 and BUTTA trying to get in the SBP. FLC has the edge and ND40/BUTTA play in week 14. Then you have AP1 JOE LOU, MONTREAL and KC fighting for a regular season title and SBP position. ROSS and TLIC are battling to stay out of the cellar and spoil seasons.

WHO’S HOT: JOE LOUIS W5
WHO’S NOT: TLICIOUS L4

WE HAVE 2 GAMES OF THE WEEK

CO-GAME OF THE WEEK
AP5 ND40 (6-6) -1 vs AP1 JOE (8-4)
LAST MEETING: JOE 137, ND40 102

ND40 needs to turn into Mr. Late November right now. They need a win. JOE LOUIS is on the verge of a second regular season championship but MONTREAL stands in the way. JOE QB Brees and WR Moss are hitting their stride and with RB Fat Little Turner it will be tough on ND. ND40 Rodgers is looking so-so and they’ll get some home cooking this week. He needs a big game along with sidekick WR Jennings. ND40 needs RB AP AD or whatever to prove his worth NOW. ND40 WR Kevin Walter is white. JOE WR Braylon has nothing. We smell an upset as there is no reason ND40 cant keep up with JOE this week. ND40 by onesie.

AP3 MONTREAL (8-3-1) -2 vs AP6 BUTTA (6-6)
LAST MEETING: MM 163, BUTTA 107

Well, here comes Buttason. The usual late season push is here but this will be a tough task this time around. MM had a huge win last week and have the inside track on their first REGULAR SEASON CHAMPIONSHIP. MM is paced by RBs Forte and T-Jones and they will be good again this week. MM has QB Tony back and its huge. MM QB Tony will be big this week. MM WRs Roddy, Royal and Evans can put a hurtin on you and they will this week. BUTTA has brought in a ton of RBs and this week RB Johnson and Lynch will get their turn and they should be good but keeping up with MMs RBS will be tough. BUTTA QB Peyton and WRs TO and Smith must bring it. MM clinched a SPB playoff spot but they will come hard. This will be a close high scoring tilt with MM just getting enough from that TOUGH TENN DEF.

AP7 TLICIOUS (3-8-1) -1 vs AP4 FLC (6-6)
LAST MEETING: FLC 167, TLIC 106

Another big one as ND40 and BUTTA will be scoreboard watching. FLC is eyeing the SBP and TLIC is gearing up for TBP. First off, this is going to be an outstanding football game. Looking at the lineups we see big points and intermingling players. TLIC QB White Cassels, FLC WR Welker, FLC QB Cutler and TLIC WR Marshall. TLIC WR Crotch. FLC WR Laveranous. TLIC WR Keller……..We are confused and conflicted. The difference this week, TLIC RB LT will finally prove his 1st round 1st overall manhood. TLIC by 1

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP2 KC BEES (7-5) -25 vs AP7 ROSS (3-9)
LAST MEETING: KC BEES 115, ROSS 92

Merciful Heavens. The gut is ready for turkey, booze and booze. Not sure if the gut is ready for ROSS and software though. The gut sees ROSS RB Leon and RB Hillis and says, “ehhhhh”. The guts sees KC RB Marion and LJ and says, “ahhhhh”. The gut sees, ROSS WR Steve Breaston and says, “breasts!!!!!”. The gut sees KC QB Warner and says, “Hyvee” KC by 25

AP PCS, WEEK 13

2008-11-24T22:47:00.002-06:00

AP#1 JOE LOUIS: Our 3rd AP1 in 3 weeks. Feel the Brees? No

AP#2 KC BEES: Loses a shootout with Butta but software is still a happy software

AP#3 MONTREAL: All of a sudden not getting respect from the pollsters but clearly could be still an AP1 and regular season king.

AP#4 FLC: Bounces back just when they needed to

AP#5 ND40: Trying to fight off Butta. They meet in week 14

AP#6 BUTTA: If ND40 is Mr. September than Butta is Mr. Late November. Gets 100th victory

AP#7 TLIC: They thought they had Uncle JOE but they let them off the hook

AP#8 ROSS: If ROSS could just spoil someones playoff berth.......

Butta Picks 12

2008-11-19T23:28:00.002-06:00

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With 3 weeks remaining, 2 games separate AP2 through AP6. FLC and ND40 are battling hard for the SB playoffs with BUTTA hanging around. KC BEES are the new AP1 with JOE LOU a close second. MM is still in good position but they need to pick it up. TLIC would love to run the table to go 6-7-1 but it wont be good enough for the SBP. ROSS’ job is to spoil and climb out of the cellar.

WHO’S HOT: JOE LOUIS W4, KC BEES W3
WHO’S NOT: TLICIOUS and FLC L3

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP4 ND40 (6-5) -1 vs AP1 MONTREAL (7-3-1)
LAST MEETING: MM 162, ND40 124

Big Game for both here. MM is playing for a regular season championship and has JOE and KC on their azz. ND40 is trying to sneak into the SB playoffs along with keeping FLC out. ND40 will be scoreboard watching this week when FLC takes the field. We went through this game one by one and the players along with matchups were so even. What we did like for ND40 was RB AP. He can be a real difference maker here. Then, you have MM RB Forte. He can easily match RB AP this week. We are just gonna go with it. ND by 1 in a high scoring, fun affair.

AP1 KC BEES (7-4) -14 vs AP6 BUTTA (5-6)
LAST MEETING: KC 131, BUTTA 109

KC and the software are rolling. Software and KC were even scene at Barnes and Noble drinking latte’s and browsing through the ‘bargain book’ bins. No way these two will buy a calendar until after Jan. 1 when they are 75% off. Smart, these two are. BUTTA struck back after the worst performance in league history. FA QB Jake has received threats from the Butta fans after that debacle and nobody know where he is. Well, it’s a must-win for Butta if they have any chance at SPB love. KC’s QB Warner and Fitzy are rolling along and even though they have a tough matchup there is no reason to think they will be held down. KC RB Barber will very tough this week and will be trouble for Butta. Look for a solid game for KC WR Lance. Lance has been a bit of slut in the league and he pays off nicely. BUTTA must bring it all. QB Pimples, WR TO and Smith…even little old RB Warrick Dunn. BUTTA is desperate and pulling all the stops. It will be a valiant effort by BUTTA but KC will be too much. Should be a very high scoring battle. KC by 14

AP5 FLC (5-6) -6 vs AP8 ROSS (3-8)
LAST MEETING: FLC 170, ROSS 57

This is a monster game for FLC and who better to spoil it than ROSS. ROSS is not playing a GUT Game. First time all year. To big of a game for FLC. ROSS RB Westy is clearly hurt and is far from his usual self. It will interesting to see what happens with him this week. ROSS QB Campbell and Moss are the backbone of this ROSS club and if they don’t play well, its over. This week should be a good one for them.
FLC QB Cutler has his work cut out for him this week but he’ll get his points. FLC WR Andre could have one of those huge games he has from time to time this week. Something like 10 rec- 145 yds and a TD. FLC RB Portis is a huge plus for FLC this week as ROSS is relying on Westy and RB Ward. This is going to be a real dog fight. Low scoring, a real nailbitter. A grinder. FLC pulls this one out but by 6. If ROSS TE Gates can get out of the gate fast ROSS makes this a game.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP2 JOE LOUIS (7-4) -2 vs AP7 TLICIOUS (3-7-1)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 136, JOE 122

Merciful Heavens. Talk about close games…..here is another one. The gut is full and after looking at this game the gut is tired and full. Gut needs a nap but wants to get this one of his chest. TLIC has fallen on hard times since the tie with MM. JOE is the hottest team in the league. JOE QB Brees is going to be trouble for TLIC and on MNF. The gut hates TLIC WR Santonio and JOE WR Braylon…both Butta re-treads. Gut is not big on TLIC QB Cassels either but is on JOE WR Moss. Figure that one out. TLIC WR Marshall is not going to have big game. TLIC can win but it falls on the lap of RB LT and Jamal. JOE RBs Gore and Turner are tough but GUT really likes the TLIC backs this week. Gut has no clue really but these are two teams going in two different directions. So he gives it JOE but only by 2.

Rounding up the troops

2008-11-18T22:18:00.001-06:00

AP PCS Rankings, week 12

2008-11-17T23:34:00.002-06:00

AP#1 KC BEES: It happened. KC beats MM and has worked their way to the top. Software even brought KC roses and chocolates as a post game reconciliation.

AP#2 JOE LOUIS: Kills ROSS again and winners of 5 straight. Rumor has it they are pissed that KC is #1 and wants an investigation.

AP#3 MONTREAL: MM drops 2 spots after being AP1 since week 4. Pretty harsh but JL and KC are coming on way too strong.

AP#4 ND40 oz: Wow. A big effort over TLIC and now they have the inside track over.....

AP#5 FLC: Butta gets over on them again and all of a sudden Naperville needs to strike back to keep 'brotha from the same mutha' from stealing their SB playoff spot.

AP#6 BUTTA: The evil empire gets a monster victory but now they get AP1 KC next week. Another must-win.

AP#7 TLIC: The ND40 loss was very tough. Two tough losses in a row

AP#8 ROSS: ROSS wondering what RB Westy is doing

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 11

2008-11-13T10:07:00.003-06:00

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MONTREAL remains on top after a high scoring tussle with Fun Lovin. JOE LOUIS and BUTTA had one of lowest scoring games in modern day history thanks to BUTTAs record breaking performance. KC BEES and the Software demolished ND40 by 70 points. KC is the move. Finally, ROSS comes back from behind and shocks TLICIOUS. Imagine that, TLIC and BUTTA in the Toilet? There is a changing of guard….for now.

WHO’S HOT: JOE LOUIS W3, KC BEES W2
WHO’S NOT: FLC and TLIC L2, BUTTA L1

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP3 KC BEES (6-4) -13 vs AP1 MONTREAL (7-2-1)
LAST MEETING: MM 132, KC BEES 116

MONTREAL is a freight train right now. As long as he doesn’t text when he is supposed to change tracks he should coast. KC is red hot and the Software has finally let him back in the house. The Software is happy for once until the next KC slip up. This is a huge GOTW. A win by KC and they should be AP1 regardless what JOE LOUIS does. KC QB Warner and WR FITZ should have a great game this week. KC inserts RB LJ back into the lineup. The Software is not a fan of women-hataz but KC wants to win at all cost. KC WR Lance and TE Gonzo should have very productive games. MM QB Rivers needs to come out swinging. MM WRs Roddy and Royal will be tough to stop. MM RB Forte must bring cowbell. He needs a big game because KC looks very tough this week. MM RB T-Jones plays on TNF and it wont be easy for him. KC is red hot as is AP1 MM. We feel that MM is in for a letdown and KC DEF CHI will be big time this week. Its amazing but THE SOFTWARE will be the new AP1 next week. KC by 13

AP6 TLIC (3-6-1) -7 vs AP5 ND40 (5-5)
LAST MEETING: ND40 146, TLIC 132

ND40 got smoked by KC last week and TLIC got blindsided by Gut Pick mainstay ROSS. Two teams that desperately need some love. Here is your Obama vs McCain of the league this week. It doesn’t mean ND40 will win though. TLIC QB Ryan has been playing great football and it will continue this week. ND40 QB Rodgers has been ok and has a tougher matchup this week. He will need to go early and often to ND40 WR Jennings. TLIC RB LT and Jacobs will have to grind out tough yards. Both have tougher matchups this week and they have ND40 RB AP to counter. ND40 RB Slaton is worn down and TLIC must take advantage. TLIC has fallen on hard times and ND40 is on and off. We like TLIC to have a solid week and beat ND40 on the rookie arm of Matt Ryan. TLIC by a late TD.

AP7 BUTTA (4-6) -3 vs AP4 FLC (5-5)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 136, FLC 135

BUTTA is stuck on 98 wins all-time. BUTTA is in turmoil right now and this is a MUST WIN. FLC is playing well but not good enough and finds itself at 5-5 with ‘brotha from the same mutha’ right behind him in the polls. The last time these two teams met it was an amazing game with BUTTA winning by one. FLC WR HINES was called on and failed. This week is a big week for both. A must win for BUTTA and FLC needs to keep Naperville happy. BUTTA RBs have been pathetic and RB Action Jackson is still missing in action. This week RB Johnson and loser RB Lynch must right their wrongs from last week. BUTTA QB Pimples loves being a Stallion and he will be throwin all day. FLC QB Cutler should put together a good week as well. FLC WR Colston and RB DeAngelo have a hard on for Butta for trading them so quickly for terrible RB Lynch. FLC RB DeAngelo will be the one with the big game. Butta WRs Smith and TO rise above this week. FLC TE Winslow is corksucker. This is going to be very close and fun game to watch but in the end BUTTA will win on a last second FG by Robbie Bironas. More revenge for last years Supa Bowl for Butta.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP2 JOE LOUIS (6-4) -1 vs AP8 ROSS (3-7)
LAST MEETING: JOE 141, ROSS 107

Merciful Heavens. Historically since JOE has joined the league, he has demolished ROSS. The gut is very aware of this. Believe it or not, the GUT thinks this is our best game of the week. ROSS is going to throw the kitchen sink at JOE LOUIS. ROSS QB Jason and WR Santana will light up a weak DAL secondary. JOE QB Brees thinks this will be an easy game but the gut is warning him right now. JOE WR Braylon has nothing. The gut thinks JOE LOU RBs Turner and Gore will be very difficult for ROSS to deal with…..and that will be the game decider. Folks, this will be a very HIGH SCORING 69 love affair game. Big points. Look for a surprise huge game from ROSS WR Muhsim. THE GUT says JOE but by only 1.

Stanley Cup Champs?

2008-11-11T22:10:00.001-06:00

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 11

2008-11-11T12:10:00.003-06:00

AP#1 MONTREAL: A huge win over FLC who was knocking on the door. Still needs to keep going to wrap up REGULAR SEASON TITLE

AP#2 JOE LOUIS: Crappy win over a bad Butta team. Luck has a way of running out

AP#3 KC BEES: KC has turned it around and appear to be SB playoff bound. Big showdown hoedown with MM this week

AP#4 FLC: FLC had a great week but got derailed by MONTREAL. Run into an angry Butta team this week

AP#5 ND40: ND40 is hanging around. They need some more W's to knock out the above 4teams.

AP#6 TLICIOUS: Morale is not high after ROSS' come from behind win

AP#7 BUTTA: Its looking like the worst season in Stallions history unless they can run the table. Nothing is going right

AP#8 ROSS: ROSS is slowly walking up the basement steps. A monster win this week and Red Oak is happy again

TLIC PICKS, WEEK 10

2008-11-06T10:34:00.002-06:00

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The suspense is mounting as the top 6 teams struggle for 4 good playoff spots. JL with a big 2 point win over MM as Cooley came up a bit short. That is 2 weeks in a row with no win for MM and he looks to right the ship against Naperville’s finest. ND and KC both took care of business with relative ease while Butta, despite some early Sunday whining, put a beating on T-Lic. No one is really on fire or on ice but some trends are sure to emerge from Week 10. I just want to say thank you for this opportunity to bring you Butta Picks. I hate you all.

WHO’S HOT: JOE LOUIS W2
WHO’S NOT: Matt Schaub and Brandon Marshall

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP1 MM (6-2-1) -19 vs AP3 FLC (5-4)
LAST MEETING: MM 121, FLC 119

Huge game. Huge. Like Delta Burke through a magnifying glass. Last meeting was a 2 pointer but this one seems a bit more one-sided. Rivers has been outplaying Cutler who has lost his mojo along with his best receiver. Meanwhile the rookie Royal is picking up the slack from the moper. MM’s Forte has a tough matchup but the receivers look good and TJ should do just fine against the Rams. FLC is going to need huge performances from AJ, DeAngelo and Coles and I just don’t think he can get all 3. Even a staphless Kellen won’t be enough. MM’s trash talking gets backed up by a big W and Fasano celebrates being on a winning team.

AP4 KC BEES (5-4) -29 vs AP5 ND40 (5-4)
LAST MEETING: KC 116, ND40 89

KC has cobbled together a team like an old man making shoes in Pella, Iowa. Suddenly the Warner/Fitzy combo is causing havoc while T-Lic is left with Marshall remorse. Rice and Hightower are also looking like great pickups but are still a bit unproven at this point. Mason has been a nicer surprise than putting a $5 chip on #7. ND is basking in the Obama sunshine and will need a big game for Rodgers against the suspect Vikings secondary. If there is a scoring bonanza between GB and MIN there is hope but I just don’t like some of the matchups. Look for Bowe to do some damage but ND will come up emptier than my candy bag on Halloween. Apparently 35 year old guys dressed as Sarah Palin are a precursor to calling the cops.

AP2 JOE LOUIS (5-4) -12 vs AP6 BUTTA (4-5)
LAST MEETING: JOE LOUIS 156, BUTTA 113

Holy Iowa rivalries Batman! These two love to hate each other and provide the league’s best trash talking. JL treated Butta like a Tom Harkin opponent last time and Butta needs to be careful or it could happen again. Butta has placed his vaunted curse on Braylon who now resides on the Lions. Brady to Braylon? Hmmm…has a nice ring to it. Brees and Turner will be huge for JL but those are the only gimmes here. Matt Jones needs to sidestep a suspension for one more week for Butta to have a shot. The SS Angry and Delhomme need to hook up twice and Chris Johnson needs to pull an AP on the Bears. You can tell Butta is pulling out all the stops by bringing in the Miami D to handle a jet lagged Seneca Wallace instead of riding the Panthers against the “77 yard” Raiders. I think Butta can put up more points than the guru is projecting but Brees is simply too much in the end.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP7 TLICIOUS (3-5-1) -3 vs AP8 ROSS (2-7)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 134, ROSS 118

This gut pick of the week is brought to you by Milwaukee’s Best. When you want a beer and can’t afford another brand try the Beast. Warm, flat and stale. Welcome to Milwaukee.
Red Oak is ready for this one. The snakes ride the Westbrook train and he should be solid again this week although the Giants D will make him work for it. Gates will be big but Shockey will try to offset the ‘Tone now that is he back on his rightful team. Boldin and Flacco will be tough as well as the rookie is making a run at some postseason individual hardware. T-Lic has turned to his own rookie QB as Schaub went down like a McCain one-liner. This is all about LT against the Chiefs. It needs to be big and it needs to be all day long…that’s what she said. Jacobs must double Ward’s production and Marshall has to answer the Porter tirade with some heart. The head says that LT is the difference maker but the gut believes ROSS will take this one on Monday night with 3 interceptions of Shaun Hill by the Cardinal D.
Gut pick: ROSS -5

AP PCS WEEK 10

2008-11-04T16:19:00.002-06:00

AP#1 MONTREAL: Barely holding on now. A 2 point loss to JOE was big

AP#2 JOE LOUIS: Bunch of bullshit. JOE LOUIS beats MM and now is a contender once again.

AP#3 FLC: The loss to KC isnt a PCS killer. FLC needs to keep winning though. MONTREAL is up next

AP#4 ND40: Here they come with FLC in close range

AP#5 KC BEES: The software is quiet only because they are winning again

AP#6 BUTTA: A desperate win last week. Time for a hate-filled showdown with heavily favored JOE LOUIS

AP#7 TLICIOUS: Needs RB LT to be big down the stretch

AP#8 ROSS: ROSS hasnt won 2 straight since the TV show "Friends" was funny.

Butta Picks, Week 9

2008-10-30T13:56:00.000-05:00

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Great games last week. MM and TLIC go down to the wire and end up with the tie. Peyton throws a pick to the TENN DEF and kills TLIC hopes of a great upset. JOE LOUIS puts up 160 and beat KC. ROSS comes up big and beats BUTTA. Red Oak is happy for this week anyway. And in the granddaddy of them all… SCHERF BOWL XXI… FLC dominates and takes a total points lead. The SCHERF CUP stays in Naperville unless they meet for SCHERF BOWL XXIII.

WHO’S HOT: MM (unbeaten in last 7), FLC W4,
WHO’S NOT: BUTTA L4

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP1 MONTREAL (6-1-1) -6 vs AP3 JOE LOUIS (4-4)
LAST SEASON SERIES: MM 136, JOE LOUIS 114

JOE LOUIS thinks hes back in the upper division. A win could possibly move them to AP2. MONTREAL couldn’t lose if they tried at this point. MM QB Edwards is in for a big game but so is JL SOUTHEAST POLK Orton. You gotta give Orton the slight nod here. MM WR Roddy is red hot and WR Evans could have one of those giant games he has one a year. MM WR Plax could end up being a TO like problem but he should do fine this week. MM RB Forte will be very good this week. JL RBs Ronnie and Turner have the potential to do damage this week. MM isn’t scared of JL WR Moss or WR Calvin anymore. MM wins yet again but its close.

AP5 KC BEES (4-4) -3 vs AP2 FLC (5-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 161, KC BEES 144

Naperville has a fever…..for more cowbell. Naperville is excited about the defending champs. The city is alive. Bad Economy? Naperville is just fine. KC Bees are hanging in there since the loss of Brady. The Software is pissed that KC let Brady get knee surgery from some chiropractor in Mexico. Just when the software isn’t mad at KC, KC goes in pisses him off in a heartbeat. We really like what KC brings to the table this week. KC QB Warner finally got away from stalker Tlic and whole Hyvee Alumni thing. KC QB Warner will be going all day to KC WR Fitzy. KC WR DeSean will have a very productive game. KC RB Barber might have it tough but he’ll still put up good points. FLC QB Gerardo might not be Rico Suave but he’s good enough for 30 points this week. FLC RBs Portis and Dominic should be just ok. If FLC WR Andre can be held to 15 points or less, KC steels this one. KC by a FG

AP6 TLIC (3-4-1) -9 vs AP7 BUTTA (3-5)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 128, TLIC 125

These two are usually AP4 by now. BUTTA is falling into must win territory and TLIC has hit ‘no more ties’ territory. The loser has the threat of ROSS catching them and that would be bad. TLIC RB Scut Farkus has been bullying little kids for years, now he thinks be can beat on Butta. TLIC WRs Reggie and Brandon are scary. BUTTA WR TO is not. The TLIC WRs have a big advantage over BUTTA WRs. BUTTA RB Jackson is still a question mark. Its too much to overcome. TLIC by 9

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP4 ND40 (4-4) -10 vs AP8 ROSS (2-6)
LAST SEASON SERIES: ND40 158, ROSS 114

Merciful Heavens. The BATTLE OF TEXAS is the gut pick. ND40 had FLC right where they wanted them and it got away. They let them off the hook. Denny Green would have been proud. ROSS puts up their best effort of the season and beat BUTTA. If ROSS can take this one, the will be back. ND40 cannot lose ground in the standings. The GUT wonders what ROSS RB Kevin Faulk is doing in a starting lineup. The GUT also likens this game to McCain vs Obama. No reason why really. The GUT says ND40 all the way. The gut doesn’t like the prospects of ROSS winning 2 straight.

AP PCS, WEEK 9

2008-10-28T20:31:00.003-05:00

AP1 MONTREAL: This team finds a way to win or at least tie

AP2 FLC: Just waiting for MM to slip up

AP3 JOE LOUIS: This team is up and down. Expect them to lose next week

AP4 ND40: Couldnt clinch SCHERF CUP. I have a feeling they'll meet again

AP5 KC BEES: Playing well but ran into a strong week by JOE

AP6 TLIC: Just one point away from beating the top dog. That was a hard tie to swallow

AP7 BUTTA: This team is geting killed by locker room turmoil. Bad attitudes and bitterness

AP8 ROSS: Making a move. Had their best week of the season

MONTREAL PICKINS, WEEK 8

2008-10-23T23:18:00.002-05:00

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“Jimmy the Meek” brings you the Buttapicks of Week 8. Let me just start out by saying how happy I am that I ain’t dead no more. I hate being in small places, no room for my gut. Anyway, Week 7 saw a shake-up of the pack of 3-3 teams with FLC, ND40 and KC Bees surviving their throwdowns. Montreal is trying to run away with the league like a black kid stealing a stereo [censored] [censored] [censored]

What do you mean I have to be “politically correct”? What the [censored] is that garbage? No racial stereotypes? No sexist comments about the pair of DSL are on Tony Romo’s current girlfriend?

WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W6, FLC W3, KC W3
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L1, BUTTA L3, TLIC L2

GAME OF THE WEEK
SCHERF BOWL XXI
AP2 FLC (4-3) vs AP3 ND40 (4-3)
LAST MEETING: ND40 133, FLC 117

The home-home series that is known as the SCHERF BOWL XXI could be determined by this game, if ND40 pulls a miracle out their collective arses. ND40 QB Favre isn’t going to get the benefit of knowing the defensive scheme of the Chiefs, but I don’t like RB Morris chances of playing on Sunday. I expect to see RB Parker (who has big thighs like I said) to see action during the game. FLC RB Portis is going to destroy the University of Detroit football team that gets sent out to face him. Here’s an idea for Pete Rozelle and the NFL… break out relegation like those soccer league in Europe. The Meek likes FLC by 30

AP4 KC BEES (4-3) -8 vs AP6 JOE LOUIS (3-4)
LAST MEETING: JOE 154, KC BEES 91

Software struck back… and former KC QB Brady underwent his 3rd and 4th surgeries on his knee. Hey, if it took cutting into my knee 4 times to get Gisele Bundchen, sign me up. KC RB Barber is going to have to carry the wreck that is the Cowboys for a few more weeks. Will this be the week that QB Warner shows his true HyVee Smile or will he continue to prove the experts wrong? I say yes. JL is trying to recover from back-to-back Scherf meetings. I like JL QB Brees to try and show those British [censored] what a deep passing game is all about and with RB GORE, GORE, GORE running wild on a Seattle defense they will try to keep it close. I like the software to pull this one out by 10.5

AP1 MONTREAL (6-1) -2 vs AP5 TLIC (3-4)
LAST MEETING: TLIC 126, MM 91

La Machine has been unstoppable since week 1. Winning every way they can, win big, win close games, and get lucky due to injuries. Claims of a bounty being placed on KC QB Palmer have not been proven to league’s satisfaction. MM RB’s T. Jones and Jones-Drew look to have big weeks in hopes of extending the streak. TLIC has already stopped the beast that is Montreal once this season and did it quite handily as well. TLIC QB Schaub appears to be the key. A big game for him and we could see AP 1 lose some votes. Will we ever see the true potential of RB Tomlinson? Not sure if this week will be the one either. Jet lag kills. ‘The Meek’ doesn’t go against his country… give me TLIC by 5.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP7 BUTTAFUOCO (3-4) +9 vs AP8 ROSS (1-6)
LAST MEETING: BUTTA 123, ROSS 97

Butta made a huge trade, ending his affair with ND40 QB Favre. I think it was three weeks too late. Butta struggling with team morale and the head coach has been seeing dipping into ranks of youth hockey coach. Not sure this is the time of year to spread your interest that thin. ROSS has set records for futility, but they have two things going for them, QB Campbell and RB Westbrook. I look for both to have a huge gut busting week. “Jimmy the Meek” and his gut both like ROSS by 25.

AP PCS POLL, Halfway Through Regular Season

2008-10-21T12:43:00.004-05:00

AP#1 MONTREAL: Goes halfway through the season with one loss and that was in week 1

AP#2 FLC: You can see them just lurking around and waiting for AP1. Naperville was a fever.....for more cow bell.

AP#3 ND40: Unbelievable. Back in the top 4 and now its time to clinch the SCHERF CUP. The new SCHERF Cup that is.

AP#4 KC BEES: The software just took the gun out of KC's mouth. For one week anyway

AP#5 TLICIOUS: They beat JOE a few weeks ago so JOE gets.....

AP#6: JOE LOUIS: They are up, they are down. Manic Team of the year. QB Brees cant carry them.

AP#7 BUTTAFUOCO: This team has too much drama. TO, Favre and plenty of underachievers. Favre is just about done as a Buttafuoco Stallions. Giving away secrets to JOE LOUIS is the final straw. Plus hes terrible.

AP#8 ROSS: 2 games out of 5th place? Come on. Give then some love. RB Westy wants out

BUTTA PICKS 7

2008-10-16T21:50:00.000-05:00

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You have six teams at 3-3 after six weeks. This is a first in PASTYGANGSTA FOOTBALL. Never before have we seen this. MONTREAL is AP1 with a 2 game cushion. Who is the next opponent? AP8 ROSS. ROSS always seems to draw the tough matchups at the wrong time. Then, you have the intense rivalries of TLICIOUS vs KC and BUTTA vs ND40. Both of these games are long standing rivalries that began in 1999. Lots of history. Finally, AP2 DEFENDING CHAMP FLC has made a strong comeback in the rankings and they get QB Brees and AP4 JOE LOUIS. JOE has been very inconsistent but is hanging in there. After this week, the standings will finally fall into place. The six way tie will be over.

WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W5, FLC W2, KC BEES W2
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L2, ND40 L2, BUTTA L2

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP3 TLICIOUS (3-3) -15 vs AP6 KC BEES (3-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: TIE 1-1

So much hate in this matchup. The software even hates TLICIOUS more than its owner (KC)….well maybe. TLIC QB Schaub gets the start and will count on TLIC WR whiteboy Kevin Walter. This guy is whiter than ND40 at a KKK rally. We feel this will be a big week for TLIC WRs Reg and Crotch. TLIC LT will break out this week because I just ate some of his Chunky Soup (seriously). You notice how much salt that sh!t has. I like the ‘healthy choice’ ones but I had to go with normal tasty one this time. KC could have a tough time this week but we love KC RB Barber. Besides KC WR Brandon we are not sold on the WRs. KC goes up and down like Sacramone on the balance beam (old Olympic flashback for ND40). This is TLICs week. TLIC by 15

AP5 ND40 (3-3) -13 vs AP7 BUTTA (3-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

The Butta-Favre saga has begun. So far, not good. BUTTA QB Favre was just average and it won’t work for Butta especially with the tension between these two. Now, QB Favre calls MM QB Romo on the tele and tells him to play? Don’t sit out? Guess QB Favre wants MM to run away with regular season. Listen, this marriage can end badly….soon, if Favre doesn’t light it up this week. ND40 QB Rodgers and WR Jennings will be trying to hook up all day. ND40 RB AD ALL DAY is due for a big game. BUTTA WRs TO, Smitty and Edwards have to live up to the hype. BUTTA RBs have been dismal and BUTTA refuses to name a starting RB until game time. Once again, ND40 TE Witten makes the difference in the game. ND40 gets all “mavericky” and wins this one by 13

AP2 FLC (3-3) -2 vs AP4 JOE LOUIS (3-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: JOE LOU 2-0

Heres a nice little matchup. FLC has roared back to AP2 and AP4 JOE LOUIS gets a big win last week. What makes this matchup great is the QBs. FLC QB Cutler vs QB JL Brees. We like Cutler in a TKO. JOE LOUIS WR Calvin is Kitnaless but maybe its for the better? FLC WR Andre will be big money this week. JOE LOUIS RBs Gore and Brown are good but this week will be rough while FLCs RB DeAngelo and Clint will primed for big games. We just like the FLC matchups better in this one. We can tell you this: HIGH SCORING and damn close. FLC continues its climb and wins by 2. Expect 150pts coming from each team.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
“UPSET SPECIAL”- GUT
AP1 MONTREAL (5-1) -3 vs AP8 ROSS (1-5)
LAST SEASON SERIES: MONTREAL 2-1

Merciful Heavens. ROSS in another gut pick game. They seem to always draw the new AP1. There are some folks in Red Oak that realize ROSS is only 2 games back. Then, there are some folks that piss all over the front gates of ROSS Stadium at 3am on a Tuesday night after another night of after work drunkenness. One guy even threw his motorcycle helmet at the Drew Chandler statue in front. He said he was just stealing a scene from Rocky III. Those crazy Red Oakians. MONTREAL can get through the half the season with only one loss if they beat ROSS. This is something no pastygangsta could of predicted. The gut is gassy tonight. Perhaps the Chunky Soup was listed as questionable. The gut is calling his shot. ROSS is his UPSET SPECIAL. We are setting the line at MM -3. The gut says take the points and ROSS might win outright. The gut says this is a trap game for MONTREAL and we like his thinking. Gut loves QB Big Ben this week and….yep….ROSS RB Pittman….you heard it right. MM QB Romo could play this week but the gut doesn’t care. We like what the gut has to say. Gamble with caution with this one. We take MM. Gut takes ROSS

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 6

2008-10-13T21:07:00.002-05:00

AP#1 MONTREAL: MM is rolling. They now have a 2 game lead over 6 teams. Yep, six teams are 3-3. MM QB Romo has time to go to Mexico with Simps.

AP#2 FLC: The defending champs have made the jump to AP2.

AP#3 TLICIOUS: Lose to FLC but still an AP3. Cant complain about that

AP#4 JOE LOUIS: Hanging around still. Its like watching Flo in an "Alice" re-run or Re-run in a "Whats Happening" re-run. It never goes away.

AP#5 ND40: Wake me up when September ends

AP#6 KC BEES: A ROSS loss would of sent the software over the edge

AP#7 BUTTA: Nobody playing well

AP#8 ROSS: only 2 games back of the pack?!?! It aint over

ROSS PICKS, WEEK 6

2008-10-09T13:32:00.004-05:00

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Ext 69 takes you straight to the ROSS suicide prevention line, where I tell you to go ahead and end it now.

Boys, at this point in the season, in real life football as in fantasy, you are what you are. Are you going to make it to the top 4 and stop a mudhole in the chest of all your opponents, or are you going to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City f@ggots (no offense, Bees) for the rest of the season? Can you make a trade or a miracle pickup that can improve your team? Yes. But your chances of changing the tiger’s stripes now are about as likely as Jeremiah Wright attending a Devo reunion concert. ROSS, Joe Louis, KC – what the fck were you doing on draft night – next time, replace the cheeba in your bongs with regular tobacco, and don’t tell me it was for your glaucoma.

The parity of the league is more acute this season, and especially this week. A loss here and a win there, and we could have a new number 1. Butta could easily find himself in the toilet bowl side of the rankings. FLC puts 2 consecutive wins together, he could be untouchable at the top based on points. ROSS and KC – well, they will be battling each other for last place for the rest of the season.

WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W4
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L1

GAME OF THE WEEK
NUMEROUS – MULTIPLE RANKING SHAKEUPS AT STAKE

I AM GOING WITH TLIC vs FLC (LAST SEASON SPLIT 1-1)

This one, like nearly all the matchups, is just too close to call. TLIC qb Kurt Warner appears to be back to form (amazing what you can do when 2 of the top WRs in the NFL are on your team, eh Kurt?) but FLC QB Cutler should have a great day vs the lousy passing defense of Jax. The WRs here are a push, but I think the difference could be Bernard Berrian – anyone playing Detroit will look like Sauron in the opening scene of Fellowship of the Ring. FLC picked up the great but hard-to-predict-usage-of Correll Buckhalter off the waiver wire, although it seems likely that he will get the nod this Sunday, and although he is no Westy, he is solid. Surprise edge this week will go to the Washington DEF – they will make the Rams look like asshats, and I am seeing at least 2 defensive TDs.

TLIC by 9.

AP1 MM (4-1) -5 vs AP4 BUTTA (3-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-0

According to the projections, this is very close. I agree – this was is tough to call. Will Butta be too distracted being a hockey mom to pay attention to his fantasy squad? I mean, he did blow off his writing duties this week; clearly his mind is somewhere else. I like MM QB Romo vs the Cardinals, but if Romo has a good day, that should mean Butta WR TO has a good day as well. Butta WR Steve Smith is an animal – I can never root against this guy since I picked him up off waivers like 3 years ago, and he kicked ass. MM WR TJ Housh will be distracted talking to the 49ers on the sidelines; other WR Plaxico will be on the phone all Sunday talking to Alamo Rent-a-Car. The difference-maker in this one will be MM RB Matt Forte – this guy is on fire, and will go off against the dirty birds.

MM wins by 5.

AP3 ND40 (3-2) -10 vs AP7 JOE LOUIS (2-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: JOE LOU 2-0

ND40 was reportedly injured slashing McCain signs with a boxcutter in Highland Park – will his painkillers cause him to lose focus? This one should come down to running back performance, and in this matchup, we have the some of the elite backs in the league. JLL Gore and Brown are kicking all kinds of ass of late – did anyone foresee the bizarre resurgence of Ronnie “Direct Snap” Brown? ND’s Adrian Peterson is a god among men, and can be worth 2-3 players worth of stats if things go his way. As of this writing, ND40 has Earnest Graham riding the pine, which is understandable given the annoying old geezer Warrick Dunn hanging around stealing his carries. I think Brees and Rodgers are a push. ND WR Greg Jennings should account for ND40’s lack of a quality second running back. The x factor here is Jason Witten, who should have a monster day vs the Tards.

ND40 by 10.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP6 KC BEES (2-3) vs AP8 ROSS (1-4)
LAST SEASON SERIES: KC 2-0

KC Bees are hating the software and technology in general – word is that he has retreated to the mountains to a decrepit cabin, Unabomber style, and is setting his lineup via handcrank laptop. The analysts are highly discounting ROSS lynchpins Jason Campbell and Santana Moss based on crap performance last week, but you can’t play the Rams without looking like allstars, no matter who you are. ROSS RB’s are a veritable who’s who of the NFL, i.e., “Who? Who the fck is that?” KC Bees WR corps of Fitz and Marshall should be solid. I think this one is closer than it looks on paper, but ROSS is snakebit – it is doubtful they will win another game this season.

AP PCS POLL, Week 5

2008-10-06T22:04:00.002-05:00

AP#1 MONTREAL MACHINE: MM is defying all the odds right now. Can they keep it up? MM QB Romo is tired of MM coming down on the field all the time. Says he should stay in owners box with Jess.

AP#2 TLICIOUS: TLIC makes a huge jump to #2 with a very big win over JL. TLIC is not getting anything from #1 overall pick RB LT and its causing some issues in the front office. TLIC gets FLC next week and that is going to be a great one.

AP#3 ND40: ND40 drops two spots after losing the GOTW SHOWDOWN HOEDOWN with MONTREAL. Its October and you have to wonder where Mr September goes from here. RB ALL DAY PETERSON looks more like SLEEP ALL NIGHT PETERSON on MNF.

AP#4 BUTTAFUOCO: They are lucky to be this high in the rankings. If it wasnt for the one point victory over surging FLC, they could be AP6 or 7. BUTTA QB McNabb is not getting done. Now, BUTTA brings in QB Favre and they have a long history of dislike. Its getting ugly. Can they get along?

AP#5 FLC: The defending champion is pulling an MM of last year. This big victory over ROSS means they could be AP2 next week. They need the TLIC game badly. They deserve a high ranking but they must keep winning. Naperville has high hopes for this team

AP#6 KC BEES: You gotta move them up a slot with the big win over BUTTA. The SOFTWARE and KC are just not getting along and you have to wonder if it will kill them in the end

AP#7 JOE LOUIS: They have high point totals but are 2-3 with QB Brees taking snaps. This means the rest of the guys are not holding up their end of the bargain. Two losses in a row (ROSS, TLIC) and gets ND40 next week.

AP#8 ROSS: ROSS cleaned house after the FLC massacre this week. After the record setting 57 points this week the Red Oak fans are boycotting next weeks home game verses KC. ROSS must win next week with the new players picked up off the wire. RB Westy hurt again.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 5

2008-10-02T23:17:00.002-05:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

WEEK 4 featured some amazingly close games. ROSS gets TEAM OF THE WEEK honors by easily disposing of AP1 JOE LOUIS. Our first big upset of the year. The ROSS 10 game losing streak is over. New AP1 ND40 beats TLICIOUS and is a team to be reckon with. KC took the field without a QB and loses to the surging AP3 MONTREAL. MONTREAL has won their last 3. In a rematch of last years SUPA BOWL, Buttafuoco beats FLC by one point. FLC has lost 2 in a row and could easily be 3-1. This week will start the separation of the league. AP1 ND40 meets MM, both 3-1. ROSS tangles with FLC, both 1-3. Then, TLIC and JOE LOUIS goes head to head at 2-2. This is CRAZY. Then in the GUT PICK, BUTTA goes against “THE SOFTWARE” and KC BEES.

WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W3
WHO’S NOT: FLC L2

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP1 ND40 (3-1) -7 vs AP3 MONTREAL (3-1)
LAST SEASON SERIES: MM 2-1

WOW. We can tell you right off the bat, this will be quite a football game. This week both lineups feature some huge potential. MONTREAL has surprised all of us with a 3-1 start. It seems like they got screwed at every moment last year. They are out to get back in the upper division. What can you say about ND40? The pastiest team in America is AP1 and living it up. ND40 QB Pimples is back off the bye week and he should be better than ever this week. At least better than what weve seen this season so far. MM QB Romo should be equally as good. When we look at the game we see “fvcking gangbusters”. Big points everywhere. Once again, this is a fairly even game but once again, ND40 has the wildcard in TE Witten. He is difference maker and clarifies the importance of a great TE. ND40 and TE Witten win by 7.

SECOND BEST GAME
AP5 JOE LOUIS (2-2) -9 vs AP4 TLIC (2-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: JOE 2-1

Damn. This is the sequel to the Pastygangsta Golf Championship held in St. Lou. The TLIC meltdown. The quiet cockiness of JOE LOUIS. We’ll more importantly, here is the first meeting of the season of two teams that need a boost. Both at 2-2, a win gives a boost of momentum and leaves the loser feeling like Gary Coleman competing at the World Sumo Wrestling Championships. This is a very difficult game to breakdown. TLIC WR Lance and Antonio? Sounds like two gay guys opening up a pizza joint. Not a hardcore football contest. Then, you have JL WR Randall Moss. Where this guy goes from here is anyones guess. TLIC RB LT seems like hes getting together but we need another big game. He should get his this week. HYVEE QB Warner is like Good Favre/ Bad Favre. Hes got a tough game this week but at home. When it comes down to it, TLIC can win this game. It wouldnt be a surprise if they did but we will take JOE LOUIS behind the likes of QB Brees and RB Frank. JOE LOUIS by 9.

AP6 FLC (1-3) -6 vs AP7 ROSS (1-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: TIE 1-1

The ROSS soap opera is now at a fever pitch. ROSS snaps the streak by beating JOE and Red Oak is a new city. Some have dusted off the clip on beards but not all. ROSS can feel the momentum. FLC is unlucky in love. The defending champ is 1-3 with two heartbreakers. The big question here is will ROSS RB Westy play? If so, this can change the complexity of the game. For now we’ll say no. FLC QB Jay needs a rebound week and this is a big test for ROSS QB Campbell. ROSS RB LJ has come back from the dead. This will be a real battle in the trenches. A low scoring showdown that leaves FLC on top with WR Andre having a BIG game.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP2 BUTTA (3-1) -5 vs AP8 KC BEES (1-3)
LAST SEASON SERIES: KC 2-0

Merciful Heavens. The GUT just watched Sarah Palin get all sensual and sexual on the TV. The GUT is a little excited. Even in all his excitement, the GUT is befuddled by Sarah’s accent. The GUT says its annoying yet comforting. Now, the GUT sees this game and the excitement has turned to sourness (limp). KC’s fumbles from center all game last week is even enough to make Joe Biden smile. BUTTA WR Braylon playing the freaking air guitar after scoring his first TD last week. Nauseating. KC has some big time greatness in RB Barber, WR Marshall, WR Fitzy and even rookie WR DeSean. The GUT feels there is just too much tension between THE SOFTWARE and KC BEE. BUTTA by 5. GUT thinks it will be very close. BUTTA WR Kevin Walter is as white as you can get hence the name Kevin Walter. (This guy was a ROSS hero two years ago.) Yep

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 4

2008-09-29T23:35:00.003-05:00

AP1 ND40: Good things happen when you have RB Ernie on your team. Mr September lives up to the name. BIG Showdown vs MM next week

AP2 BUTTAFUOCO: Have won 2 close games. Not an impressive AP2 but winning games anyway. WR Donald Duck Dunn Driver is invisible.

AP3 MONTREAL: Winning Ugly. This is a sneaky team. MM trying to keep Jess Simpson far away from Clubhouse. Wants ND40 badly

AP4 TLICIOUS: RB LT is coming back. Tough loss this week. HYVEE QB Warner is wacky.

AP5 JOE LOUIS: Loses to AP8 ROSS. It was a bad bye week for them but we can rank them behind TLIC until next weeks clash

AP6 FLC: The defending champ not getting any breaks. Last 2 losses by a combined 3 points. Naperville is not giving up hope. WR Hines will not show his face in NAPERVILLE this week.

AP7 ROSS: When you beat AP1 team by 20 plus you rise to AP7. All of a sudden, the city of Red Oak believes. A win next week and the paper bags turn to clip on beards

AP8 KC BEES: The software hates QB Carson and the owner. Software wants to partner with ND40 next year. Software hates everything right now

Oh Butta....

2008-09-29T08:23:00.004-05:00

Folks, Heather Locklear

2008-09-28T23:12:00.002-05:00

Nice mug shot of ROSS Cheerleader. Things are looking up in Red Oak

John Elway Engaged to Former Oakland Raider Cheerleader!

2008-09-26T16:45:00.004-05:00

Awwww...aren't the kids cute? The wife-to-be is former Raiiiiiddder (channeling my best Chris Berman) cheerleader Paige Green.

Johnny should know better than to take his troops into enemy territory but I gotta admit...it's nice territory.

Best of luck to the future Elway-Greens.

Green-Elways?

Whatever.

Enjoy helping him floss those horse teeth every night, Paige.

This has been your PFL Hollywood Minute update.

BUTTAFUOCO PICKS, WEEK 4

2008-09-25T12:58:00.001-05:00

Buttapicks.com
1-888-BIG-MONY

We’ll what a week 2! We have 5 teams at 2-1. ROSS is only 2 games back. Speaking of ROSS, they break an old record. TLICIOUS downs ROSS. Perhaps if RB Westy doesn’t get hurt, we would have had a different scenario. JOE LOUIS is AP1 once again. After spending most of last year in that slot, they are right back at the top again. JOE LOUIS beats an underachieving, disappointing BUTTAFUOCO. KC BEES get a big win over the former AP1 ND40. We think KC is on the move. Perhaps the game of the week was MM beating defending champion FLC by just a few. It came down to the last minutes of MNF. MONTREAL is another team with some potential. This week will provide some separation in the standings with a HUGE Tlicious vs ND40 tussle. Winner gets some or all of first place.

WHO’S HOT: MONTREAL W2
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L10

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP4 ND40 (2-1) -9 vs AP3 TLIC
LAST SEASON SERIES: TLIC 2-1

A rematch of last years TOILET BOWL. Always an epic battle. This is our GOTW. Both teams want to avoid the mediocre 2-2 mark. The league is tight and every W matters. The two clubs have met in a SUPA BOWL and a TOILET BOWL. Folks, TLIC RB LT is back! And he usually eats up the Raiders. TLIC RB REG has been quality so far but it wont last. This week these two will be tough. ND40 RB AP and Earnest will have a tough task keeping up. What is going on with the FA WRs in this tilt? That’s just wrong. Its as wrong as Kurtie with a George Hamilton tan. ND40 Stuckey? TLIC Meachem and Bryant? Desperation with byes in week 4 already? Actually, buttapicks.com had WR Meachem in their “super-sleeper” category in August. The kid has got skills. ND40 Stuckey will need some mojo. You gotta give the WR edge to ND40. ND40 WR Dwayne Bowe is freak but has to overcome the problems around him. We do like him this week. ND40 WR Jennings will be big. ND40 will really take advantage with TE Witten in this one. ND40 BY 9

SECOND BEST GAME
AP2 BUTTA (2-1) -7 vs AP7 FLC (1-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: FLC 3-0

And here is the REMATCH OF SUPA BOWL VIV. FLC remarkably swept this series last year. First time ever. FLC wins a very close SUPA BOWL and Naperville is finally put on the football map. Both teams are trying to figure out who they are. Only Denny Green knows. BUTTA QB Edwards looks like he’ll get the start although that can change any moment. BUTTA RBs Marshawn is in for a big game but we cant say the same for RB Action Jackson. FLC RBs Portis and Perry need to come up big. The BUTTA WR trio (TO, Smitty and Donald Duck Driver) is scary, so FLC Wide outs (AJ, Coles and Hines) must produce. Anything can happen with FLC QB Cutler taking the snaps, so you cant be too confident if you take BUTTA but we say BUTTA gets SUPA BOWL REVENGE and wins by a TD.

BYE WEEK BOWL
AP5 MONTREAL (2-1) -2 vs AP6 KC BEES (1-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: TIE 1-1

Both teams are filled with bye weeks. This will makes things very interesting this week. A MM win and they are sitting very pretty with a share of 1st place. A KC BEE loss and they have to start digging. KC is 1-2 but we are pimping this squad. KC WRs Marshall and Fitzy will be very good this week. KC RB Marion is a buttapicks.com favorite and he always comes correct. We think KC QB Carson will make up some big numbers this week. We are very concerned about KC RB Edge, so MM must capitalize with their RB Combo of Forte and Tommy Jones. MM QB Romo should have a big game again but we cant go against KC this week. KC BY 10.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP1 JOE LOUIS LIONS (2-1) -12 vs AP8 ROSS (0-3)
SEASON SERIES: JOE 2-0

Merciful Heavens. This game couldn’t have come at a worse time for ROSS. We don’t need an 11 game losing streak in the city of Red Oak. Fans are revolting. ROSS Football is the only thing these people live for. The gut is feeling quezzy. Now, the gut knows JOE LOUIS has major bye issues this week but the gut doesn’t think ROSS RBs LenDale and Buckhalter can do anything. Even new ROSS QB Big Ben makes the gut not very excited. JOE LOU RBs Fat Turner and Gore could have really big days. The gut has nothing good to say about ROSS except this will be a pretty close game for ROSS but they wont win. The gut cant take ROSS until hes sees a "W". ROSS loses 11 straight. JOE by 12

AP PCS POLL, WEEK 3

2008-09-22T22:33:00.004-05:00

AP#1 JOE LOUIS: Back at #1 and gets ROSS next week. The rest of the league could be chasin again

AP#2 BUTTAFUOCO: Bad loss but they beat TLIC who is AP3. QB's are banged up. Thats a concern

AP#3 TLICIOUS: beats AP8 ROSS. Will need to step it up for showdown with ND40. Shockey gets hurt and dropped. Harsh.

AP#4 ND40: Falls down to AP4 after very disappointing week.

AP#5 MONTREAL: A huge win and MM is winning ugly

AP#6 KC BEES: Look out for this team. They are going to get better

AP#7 FLC: Naperville is on a roller coaster ride. A win verses BUTTA and they should be AP3 or better

AP#8 ROSS: The record 10 game losing streak and ROSS is talking about moving the team. Red Oak is not happy. The paper bags are out.

BUTTA PICKS, WEEK 3

2008-09-18T19:01:00.002-05:00

Hello. Im Brent Musburger. I am here to give you buttapicks.com……here on CBS. First off, Ive heard most of you are Iowa HACKeye fans. Well, its been a fun year for you thus far. The HACKeyes are fun to do play-by-play for. I cheer for the Buckeyes ever so slightly when they play the HACKeyes. I like Hayden Fry. Anyway, I love Pastygangsta football and that is why I am here. And how about that week 2. An amazing display of football. How about ND40? A surprise AP1. ND40 brings it with authority. They crushed ROSS. They are something like 34-7 in September. The BUTTAFUOCO STALLIONS beat TLICIOUS in last weeks finest battle. Butta QB McNabb is one heck of a quarterback. Butta wins by 3 points (buttapicks spread was 3) and is AP#2 right where they finished last year. The defending PCS National Champion Fun Lovin Criminals proved to everyone they are no one year wonder. FLC beats KC but the KC BEES fought to the very end. They come WAY back but not enough as FLC brings home a win. MONTREAL shocks JOE LOUIS. This win was huge for MONTREAL. They need momentum. JOE LOUIS has only lost four games in their Pastygangsta lives. Folks, lets break these games down.

WHO’S HOT: ND40 W2, BUTTA W2
WHO’S NOT: ROSS L9, KC BEES L2

GAME OF THE WEEK
AP2 BUTTA (2-0) -3 vs AP4 JOE LOU (1-1)
LAST SEASON SERIES: BUTTA 2-1

Folks, this is the old guard meets the new. Last year, JOE LOUIS comes in and thinks they are cool. They win the regular season championship BY going 12-2. Then they meet the Evil Empire, the Master of Disaster, The King of Sting, Americas Team…the BUTTAFUOCO STALLIONS. Butta wins and destroys the dreams and hopes of JOE in their very first season. Unbelievable. Folks, this week BUTTA got one of his all-time favorite players in WR Steve Smith. The media has said they gave too much but Butta wants guys on their team that want to play da foosball. JOE LOUIS has incredible RB matchups this week. RB Orange Julius and Gore have cupcakes in front of them. They both should have fine numbers. These 2 backs could really put a hurtin on Buttafuoco. BUTTA RB Marshawn is a Butta man. Butta will either go with RB Action Jackson or one of the rookies. We expect above average production out of them. BUTTA WRs TO, Smitty and Driver are arguably the best trio in the league. JOE LOU WR Moss is very questionable from here on out but JOE WR Calvin is turning into a freak. This game will be high-scoring and close. The game will come down to JOE LOU WR Chambers on MNF but he will come up two points short. BUTTA BY 3

AP3 FLC (1-1) -4 vs AP6 MONTREAL (1-1)
LAST SEASON SERIES: TIE 1-1

Folks, a big game for both. The defending champions verses a team searching for an identity. MM has only two winning seasons. MONTREAL needs to start 2-1. FLC has a new identity. That of a winner. If only Sara Lee and Debbie knew that he’d be set. Going 1-2 after a Supa Bowl year wont cut it for the high maintenance folk of Naperville. Now, weve had this conversation before but whose moms are hotter? Carrolton, TX, Naperville, IL or West Des Moines, IA? We’d have to go with the HACKeye State. All of a sudden I really like this MONTREAL team. MM QB Romo will be throwin silly but FLC has found his franchise QB in QB Jay. How about MM WR Plax? He’ll be tough to stop this week. FLC WR Devery has to do something. He needs a 20 point game. I love FLC QB Cutler in this game and I feel the hot QB can carry a team. Right now, FLC QB Jay is that guy. If it wasn’t for him we’d go with MONTREAL all the way. FLC wins a close game on the arm of Jay Cutler.

AP1 ND40 (2-0) -2 vs AP7 KC BEES (0-2)
LAST SEASON SERIES: KC BEES 2-0

What can you say about NORTH DALLAS FORTY? Looking powerful. A #1 ranking in the PCS. KC BEES are slowly getting it back together after the QB Brady injury. The Software has been thrown off course. This game could make ND40 a force. KC cant go 0-3 or the software will start taking hostages. It’s a tremendous matchup. The big story of this game KC QB Eli vs ND40 QB Peyton. Archie will be in the ND40 suite which kind of makes us suspicious. I mean, what about the KC box or even Dayna’s Big 12 suite. ND40 and DAYNA in separate suites? Where is TMZ when you need them? KC WR Ocho Fucko just doesn’t seem like a KC kinda guy. Yet, KC is going with him again. Look out for KC WR Fitz, Marshall and RB Marion Jr. They will be very difficult on ol’ ND40. ND40 has great depth as well with RB Adrian, RB Earnest, WR Jennings and great TE Witten. Folks, this will be a high scoring slugfest and very close. We are going to go with hot ND40 but this one can go either way.

GUT PICK OF THE WEEK
AP5 TLICIOUS (1-1) -3 vs AP8 ROSS (0-2)
SEASON SERIES: TLIC 2-0

Merciful Heavens. ROSS is in danger of breaking a 10 year old record. Can ROSS RB LJ do anything to stop it? ROSS has called out RB LJ in the media and that is never good. RB LJ has done the same. TLIC is trying to get over a difficult defeat to the Stallions. The gut wants no part of a record breaking game. He feels bad for ROSS, who had their dream season not long ago. In fact, this matchup was the SUPA BOWL that year. The gut thinks this one will be a great game and he never thinks that. ROSS trying not to break the record is enough drama to make this a GOTW. This one will be exciting and will be decided on MNF. TLIC WR Crotch and K Nate verses ROSS TE Gates and WR Vinnie. Folks it comes down to that and guess what the gut thinks? ROSS by1. WOW. The gut likes to take risks….like ND40 at a Harrahs buffet.

ANSWER THE FVCKING POLL QUESTIONS. IT ONLY TAKES 5 SECONDS. LAZY ASSES

We’ll Im Brent Mushburger and this has been fun. We’ll see you next time. Enjoy IOWA vs PITT on ESPN 2 at 11am this SATURDAY.

Yahoo Headline: "Why Tony Kornheiser apologized last night"

2008-09-16T12:02:00.002-05:00

Uhhhh....because he sucks?

No, apparently there's more to it than that.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Why-Tony-Kornheiser-apologized-last-night?urn=nfl,108035